Why Am I Endlessly Giving Out Love But Receiving None

I have always known from my first memory of being alive that I cared. I cared about everything and everyone be it family, friend or stranger. My first memory of heartbreak was seeing a dead pigeon on the side of the pavement, I cried for a whole hour, this reaction applied to any dead animal I encounterd until I reached puberty. In puberty my care extrended hugely to my friends, I wonder now if I had all of this love to give because I was the only child of a lovelacking mother and if this was/is the case is it normal or abnormal?

 

I don't and can't hold grudges, I've trusted to my own detriment I've really gone out of my way for others and now I feel sooo sad because none of this has ever been voluntarily reciprocated. It's not that I give to receive but why is it that when I feel at my lowest point, there's no one there to comfort me? Even when those that I have so obviously supported at one time or another or another or another know I'm going through a hard time they don't reach out and comfort me, yet I forgive them and move on.

 

Am I abnormal? Strong? Good person? or just a plain fool and doormat?

gemisweet gemisweet
26-30, F
Mar 15, 2010