This One Time At Deer Camp...

So anyways...years ago, I was dating a man who also had children...his boys were the same age as my boys...but a year behind in school due to what time of the year they were born...the boys were 6 and 9 at the time. He insisted I go with him on a hunting trip, he wanted my help because he was taking both boys and the oldest one was going to tag along with him, but the younger one was not quite ready for the hike.

I offered to stay home with the younger one. He insisted we go with...I knew this was a bad idea because our previous camping trips with the kids had been less than wonderful...something always happened and he always took it badly. Made it out to be my fault. In fact, that was the nature of our relationship, if things went bad...I was to blame.

I can't believe we kept getting back together...everytime I knew better, but I couldn't just say no. This trip should of been a good reason to run.

Well, on this trip...we had just pulled onto the highway, in for at least 3 hours before we could stop. We had just stopped for a break and the oldest boy was told he better go take a leak...but of course he refused and as soon as we hit that highway he started screaming and begging for his dad to pull over so he could pee. The power of his handheld video game had finally been interrupted by his bladder. His father refused to pull over and told him tough, he'd have to hold it. I had an empty gatorade bottle up front and I handed it to the kid, told him to seal it tight and make sure he tossed it out at the next stop. I felt bad for this kid, but this was how his dad was. In fact, after our first year and half together...having even lived together, I made a point of bringing my own children around this foreboding man as little as possible. He had a tendency to blow stuff out of proportion when it came to the kids, and he also got quite jealous. Jealous of the kids or what they did or how they did and even jealous of anything I did or had...he had to be the one on top always. It was his thing, he fancied himself a leader...an alpha male...I fancied him as a grown man who was still a little boy...who had some twisted ideas about who he really was.

Well the trip had its ups and downs. Lots of downs. We camped with his hunting buddies and his oldest was acting up like crazy climbing and jumping all over their stuff and I told the kid to be respectful and not be on their stuff without their permission, but his dad screamed at me in front of his buddies and said let the kid be a kid. I hadn't even scolded the boy. Every moment he was there was tense...even when things were great he told me his friends thought I was a b...tch and wished I hadn't come. Funny, because I worked with both of them and had my own friendship with the two and we'd always gotten along...hmmm. I let it go. One of his buddies flipped on his quad and broke his arm and injured his leg. I got left with his friend and the kids while he took the other one into town to the hospital. I packed up that entire camp by myself, and helped his buddy with his camp.

While packing up, the youngest boy had gotten into the truck and was being quiet when suddenly I heard him scream...no no no, I did not drink pee...and he was spitting like crazy. Oh no, the pee filled gatorade bottle.

When his dad returned he was not happy to hear of the younger boy's mishap with the bottle and blamed me for allowing the older one to ever have used it. Everything was packed and we drove into town, stopping to eat at McDonald's, he handed me cash and told me what to order for him and the boys and promptly took the boys to use the restroom. After their potty break they made a brake for the play area outside. The adults were sitting at a table and when the order was called I went to grab the food. As I was returning to the table, their father was heading outside to get the boys...myself and his friends all watched in horror as the youngest boy was relieving himself of #2 in the play area in front of everyone and God. He swooped the child up and took him to the restroom. The older boy sat with us and we ate in silence...when the youngest and his father sat down to join us, only the young boy spoke. His face red from crying, yelling at his father for hitting him...no hitting! I am suppose to use the restroom. He repeated this over and over sobbing as he ate.

The youngest boy's incident somehow was my fault as well, his father told me so on our way home. I wanted to be left. I'd hire a cab or take a bus, I didn't want to hear his hatred spew from him. There was no conversation back home...only the few words the kids exchanged with each other. I tried to sleep. Occassionally he would look over and say something to me, I kept my head down and played asleep. That was the longest drive home ever.

I would like to note that the young boy...has Asperger's and ADHD and his father kept him heavily medicated since the age of 3. The child was on slow release patches of a medicine similar to ritalin...these patches would make your fingers instantly numb and leave a red mark where ever they were placed on the skin. The child was also given anti-psychotic medication...seroquel...every year the medications increased in dose and frequency...since he was four. I met the boy when he was three and he was obviously autistic. But the boy was sweet and just needed extra attention to certain things...I was kept around, endured for the most part because of the love and bond I had with this young boy. I preferred him unmedicated...yes, he was squirrelly but he was manageable...medicated he was not himself. I got him to do things others couldn't, my ex said that the boy got along with me so well because we shared the same mindset. I believe that was meant to be an insult...regardless, the only thing about that relationship I stayed for were the kids, especially the youngest. The older boy was much like his father and would consistently create elaborate stories...and even harm himself or others and then lie and say they were attacking him or he'd hurt himself and say I hurt him. His father always sided with this older boy even when the child's lies were obvious fibs...I had always suspected he beat the boys, although it never happened in front of me, I don't believe in spanking or beating children...but once I saw the oldest covered in what appeared to be belt marks. I reported him to child protective services anonymously. After five years of ups and downs, I finally walked away. Although he wouldn't let me go, he continued to haunt me and cause problems for me and beckon me back for another 3 years. Finally after eight years, he found someone else and has let me be. It has been a year now, I miss the boys and often wonder about them. There are so many things I could tell you...but I will leave that for another time...I include the boys in my prayers, but I'm so grateful to be free from their father's wrath..
bgirl1116 bgirl1116
31-35, F
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

Wow... You're very resilient. You were certainly a blessing to that young boy. I'm sure he is missing you also.