What Is A Male Lesbian?Have you ever heard of a Male-Lesbian ?!?!
It has nothing to do with either homo or transsexual.
It is about hetero-males.
Many would see the concept of male lesbian as a ridiculous idea, but the word SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) would not suit us type either, love-shy maybe.
According to research done by
Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin
University Press of America, Inc.
Stated the following:
On the surface the whole idea appears ludicrous; everyone knows that lesbians are female homosexuals who want to "make it" vis-a-vis another woman.
Specifically, a "male lesbian" is a heterosexual man who wishes that he had been born a woman, but who (even if he had been a woman) could only make love to another woman and never to a man. Unlike the transsexual, the "male lesbian" does not feel himself to be "a woman trapped inside the body of a man".
Moreover, male lesbians don’t have any wishes or fantasies of any kind pertinent to the idea of obtaining a sex change operation. All want to keep their male genitalia; all want to remain as males. However, male lesbians deeply envied the prerogatives of the female gender and truly believed that these prerogatives fitted their own inborn temperaments far more harmoniously than the pattern of behavioural expectations to which males are required to adhere.
Male lesbians differ from both transsexuals and homosexuals in that they cannot conceive of themselves making love to a man. For example, after sex change surgery the male transsexual almost always wants to begin making love to a man AS A WOMAN. The male homosexual wants to make love AS A MAN to a man. The male lesbian, on the other hand, wishes that he had been born a woman. But he always makes it clear that if he indeed had been born a woman he would be a full-fledged lesbian. In other words, he would want to socialize exclusively with women and he would choose female partners exclusively for love-making and for sex-making activity. In short, a secret fantasy of many male lesbian is to be a beautiful woman who lives with and makes love with another beautiful woman.
The male lesbian reluctantly accepts the fact that he is male. Male Lesbians don’t have any transvestite tendencies or any urge to dress up as a woman or to put on lipstick or nail polish, etc.
Since a male lesbian cannot be a woman, most male lesbians visualize themselves as a man romancing as a beautiful woman. And most of them had begun doing this from a much earlier age in life than had the large majority of heterosexual men.
Many of the male lesbians studied never liked their own gender very much.
As young children most of them had avoided playmates of their own sex. And most of them had envied the girls' play groups and play activities. They had come to view conventional societal expectations as cruel and callously insensitive because they perceived the girls' peer groups and play activities as being their "natural terrain". Hence, they had often thought to themselves that if they could only find a way of gaining acceptance into the all-female peer group they would find happiness, inner peace and contentment.
From a very early age in life onward, the male lesbians feel somehow "different" from their male peers. Something inside of them told them that they did not belong around male peers. Male peer group activities appeared foreign and often totally unappealing to them. And they tended to view males and their peer group activities with feelings of total and complete alienation and detachment. As one male lesbian expressed it, "Whenever I watched the boys in my school playing I might just as well have been watching a bunch of bear cubs play. I knew they were having a good time; but I just didn't feel that I belonged to their species. I knew that I belonged somewhere else, but I did not know how to find that someplace else." The "someplace else" referred to was, of course, an all-girl peer group.
And so the male lesbian (1) does not want to play with males, (2) does not want to make love to or experience sex with males, (3) does not have male recreational interests, and (4) does not even want to procreate male children. The vast majority of the male lesbians confessed that if they ever did become fathers they would want to have girl children only--NO BOYS. In stark contrast, only one percent of the self-confident, males felt that way. In fact, the non-shy men preferred the idea of fathering male children to the idea of fathering female children by a ratio of almost three to two.
According to Gilmartin, many male-lesbians (who overlap with love-shy men) show the following patterns:
-often feel women are more privileged than men
-are in below-average physical shape as a group
-tend to be less interested in sports
-tend to be more interested in movies and music, and prefer watching different types of movies from non-love-shy men
-place great, often disproportionate importance on physical beauty (especially facial beauty)
-are not as likely to be interested in male friendships
-are less patriotic
-are less religious
-16% of his sample were unemployed.
-has experienced homelessness or poverty for the large part of their lives
-develop interest in females at an earlier age than usual, particularly in the third to fifth grade range
-often only want to have female children
-often have a hard time expressing their emotions
-are sometimes passive aggressive
-often have had a physically difficult birth
-have low energy levels; show little interest in physical and sporting activities, as well as difficulty getting out of bed in the morning
-were usually quiet as infants, while non-love-shy men are rarely so
-often have tense, nervous, angry and/or two-faced mothers who
-disallowed dates with girls
-often have no sisters, and rarely have more than one
-often are very serious
-often had no adults to turn to for emotional support as children, and continue to be that way as adults
-often felt they had little influence on family decisions as children
are easily upset
-have demanding parents who invade their privacy; thus have privacy problems to suffer
-often go through an excessive amount of psychological trauma, of which love-shyness can be the aftermath; many of the above items can be precursors of it
-parents were overprotective
-grew up in isolation
-like girls, but are afraid to talk to them because they're afraid of rejection
However, some have noted that those who are not love-shy may also exhibit a number of these patterns.
Findings which have not been found by Gilmartin are:
-they have fathers who have disrespectful curiosity about women that their sons interact with and vice versa
-hold their parents responsible because of some of the aforementioned limitations; and in turn ban their parents from meeting any future lover
-disown their parents after moving out from their home
Rattydog 41-45, M 11 Responses 16 Feb 26, 2011