OUT! As I have written in several stories I am a married but closeted CD who enjoys dressing only a few times during the year. A few weeks ago my wife and I were on a trip and our adult daughter called to ask about using my computer to scan a document. I said "sure" and gave her directions on starting the computer and then scanning the document. No real issue there.
After returning home daughter told wife about an e-mail alert that she had seen while using my computer. That alert was from a CD site.
Later that day my wife and I were sitting at the table talking about some things when she said something about what daughter had found and that "we needed to talk about the elephant in the room!" She relayed what daughter had said and waited for my reply. I thought for a brief second and then said "do you mean the dressing?" She nodded yes and I finally told her that I had been a cross dresser all of my life and I had never told anyone that secret (of course excepting those on EP). Surprisingly she said that it must have been a terrible thing to have to carry such a deep secret for all those years.
We talked for a bit about my dressing and she indicated that she could handle the continuing of that practice as long as we established a signal such that when she left the house for a couple of hours she would text me before coming home to allow time for me to change and store the clothes. She also allowed that she would understand if I needed to leave for a few hours or even for a couple of days to indulge my dressing needs. Amazing and not the response that I had expected.
I told her about the range of tolerance that others have described in their wives and she said that she was all right with wearing panties and underdressing. She also suggested that I clear out a drawer and store some of my "things" there. Amazing.
I mentioned the regional convention of cross dressers that I had learned about a few months earlier and she felt that I should go if I wanted to. Amazing.
It all is truly amazing. I had always expected that if she learned of my dressing the marriage would be torn apart, we would part as enemies and life would be changed forever. Not so.
It seems that, at this point in our lives, neither of us is willing to tear down what we have and both of us are willing to compromise to preserve the relationship. In addition, since I have been dressing all of my life she recognizes that I am not likely to just stop and therefor she is willing to accept dressing as a vital part of the man she married.

How am I doing after this cataclysmic afternoon talk? Very well thank you. The relief is palpable. I am very happy. So many elements of stress have left my body. I am very happy. I will not push the limits of her acceptance. I am very happy. I am able to dress more with none of the guilt feelings of the past. I am very happy. The fear of discovery is gone! I am very happy.
Quite honestly, over the past year I had been preparing to "come out" in some small way. My thoughts were in order and I had practiced the words that I might use. I just had not worked up the courage to roll the dice. As it happened it was relatively easy and painless.

I haven't written this as advice to other dressers. We are all different, our spouses or SO's are different and our needs are different. The time was right for me, the stars aligned and it happened.
DonnaSt DonnaSt
66-70, M
19 Responses Aug 23, 2014

You have a wonderful accepting wife. She is a keeper for sure. The weight you carried on your shoulders is now gone, you must just be ecstatic. Having a wife that you love and trust is the way it should be, and having a wife that's willing to clean out a drawer for your lingerie is priceless. 😄. So nice to read about that.

What a happy ending. Have you spoken with your daughter?

I'm so glad that "the stars aligned" for you Ms. Donna. A very heartfelt "experience. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.

you are so lucky,,, my wife is very old fashioned and thinks dressing is queer,,, although I have bi tendacies

I'm sorry to hear she doesn't have an open mind, Mickjag, everyone should have the right to wear what they want. I hope this site is able to help in some ways.

thank you Melissa, this sight does help me..hugs michelle

I believe the original intention of the site was to allow folks like us to openly discuss experiences with like-minded individuals. The purpose of the 'adult' classifications was to keep separate the groups where sexual experiences - which are by far the majority of those involving crossdressing - came into play. Unfortunately, some of the adults are offended by anything to do with sex and as a result, EP has undergone a program of censorship that has really hurt it's original concept, at least as far as a lot of us are concerned.

that's true

1 More Response

I am also one of the fortunate few whose wife not only knows I cross dress, she wants me to dress up. She especially gets turned on when we have sex. I don't know what I would do without her. I do feel sad when I read the cruel stories of everyone that is punished by wives that do not tolerate dressing up.

it is what we all want...a deeper commitment with a woman that we love.

I've talked with hundreds of CDs, TVs, etc. over the last forty years; a mix of sad and glad stories that I've incorporated into erotic stories. It always makes me feel good when I hear a story like this where loving acceptance wins out over narrow minded disagreement or worse.

You lucky to find a very special and rare bride...;-)

Congratulations! I'm overjoyed for you and wish you the best in life in the years to come. Who knows, maybe your wife will grow to want to meet your fem side and the two if you can travel, shop and enjoy many things together.



What you suggest would be wonderful but, for now, I am just happy that another person knows and is somewhat accepting.


You have a fantastic woman with you! She is pure gold! I know of marriages that just folded from dressing and I am still yet to have such a conversation with my wife and we have been together for 23 years now!

Just wow!
I'd say you're lucky but, honestly, you've been careful in who you pursued a relationship with and have clearly tended the love between you well (as has she). This is a powerful part of what you have experienced.
So, rather than "lucky you" I have to say "nicely done" and congratulate both of you on reaching an adult understanding based on love and support.

You are so lucky to have your wife. She is a wonderful person and I hope you treat her better than you ever have. Someone wrote to you to make sure you do rings for her even more now.
The women we love are special. But the one you married and accepts you for this is extraordinary. She loves you beyond superficial things.
I am so happy for you and hope one day I can be as happy. Congrats

I can't really add anyting to what others have written. At least now the weight has lifted from your shoulders and you can relax and enjoy your dressing time without that fear of the key in the door discovery. Take care of each other and enjoy your time together.

Amen, and thank you for the good thoughts.

So glad to hear of your wonderful and accepting wife. Since your daughter found the email alert, I'm curious how the news was broken to her, or if it was simply played off as spam. Again, I'm so happy you are now able to be who you really are.

Thank you, happy is the best way to describe how I feel right now (maybe add in a dose of relieved too. Daughter had the whole "CD" picture from the alert but she hasn't reacted quite as positively as the wife. She is working through things now but we are relating very well without yet having any discussion about the cross dressing, which will have to come about in the near future.
Thanks for being happy for me.

Awesome, Donna, and what a great wife you have! I can imagine the butterflies you had when she brought up the elephant in the room. But she understands and now that she knows is supportive and even encouraging of your dressing, including under dressing.
You are so right, all our spouses or SO's are different and it is nice to hear, like mine and my wife's relationship, a positive result.

Yes, it has been positive beyond belief and I will treat this new relationship with a great deal of respect. Thanks for your encouraging comments.

Super lucky, you are.
Make sure you repay this with things she likes as well, and make sure you talk lots about things. It can go wrong all too easily, as you say.

Thanks for the advice. I know that things could change rather quickly and thus I will not push too hard for "privileges".

All OK..............there are many of us around the world, not a problem.

I told my Wife to be, before I Married her in 1970, she accepted my liking of silky knickers and nighties, during our years of 5 Children we kept it secret, they have gone now, so it is a nighty every night some time matching ones.

I too told my wife before we got married. I actually told her after our third date. Although she didn't let me dress up at first, she became accepting over time. She did tell her daughter who didn't seem to care. I guess that is why my wife is so accepting. She has come to expect me to dress up on my days off and doesn't mind if I go out. I love her so much.

Good for you Rhonda and I did something similar. It was on our second date that my wife found out that I dressed. It intrigued her and as she asked me more and more questions about it, it excited her! So sharing the feminine has just brought us closer together.

My wife is very accepting. Although she doesn't go out with me, she encourages me to go out and enjoy myself. I look forward to the day that she does go out with me. Several of her nieces know about me, and they enjoy going out with me as Rhonda. The time may be close to where my wife does go out with me.

Donna, I am thrilled for you. I know how you looked forward to your periodic dressing intervals when your wife was away. Glad it worked out so well.

Thanks for your good wishes. Yes, I really did look forward to my dressing periods and now it appears that those periods will continue with the tacit blessing of the one person I value above all others.