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Married Single Mom.. Is Who I Am..

Hi, Im here to share my story.

 

I am a married single mom to two girls 7 & 2. One is biologically my husbands child (2). How do I fit "Married single mom"? I found out shortly after my 2 year old daughter was born my husband only had a child with me because he didn't want me to leave him. I slept on the couch for the first 6 months of my daughters life because he wanted his sleep. At the time I too had a full time job, and took care of both of our children, our house, our pets everything. He would come home from work and sit in front of the Tv.

This has been going on for two years. He has no real relationship with our 2 year old daughter, He doesn't even watch them so I can go to the store. I quit my job in April 2009 (when he agreed it was pointless for me to keep working as I wasn't making any money after paying for daycare). He has been going through some issues that i'm not exactly sure of as he is now medication dependant and doesn't seem to think this is a problem. I am pretty much a mom to 3 kids.. even as I sit here and write this my kids are screaming at me and can't give me 5 minutes alone so I must go.

 

I am glad to find a place where I am not alone. I will add more to my story later.

somejadedgirl somejadedgirl 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 8, 2010

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I'm truly sorry about your situation, as it's very much mine as well - and I've been living with it for more than a year now...without any sign of letup. We have two young boys, I work, and my wife stays at home. But, generally, I do all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, ferrying the kids to their activities, all the phone calls, the household budget, and everything.



When you say "I'm pretty much a mom to 3 kids", that rings so amazingly true to me as well. At least, for me, the kids are in school most of the day and have a variety of afterschool activities that keep us busy. But, at the end of the day, I can't keep up with the house or anything else in life and it's all just falling apart. I love my wife, and while we are almost completely unable to talk about this situation without it becoming a chicken-and-egg blaming match, I maintain a daily hope that it will get better - but I can't help but wonder what this is doing to our boys....



It's funny, you slept on the couch so he could sleep - I slept in my recliner with the boys because she was unable to take care of them at night.



I know you wrote this a few months ago, and that hearing that someone else is in the same boat really doesn't fix anything, but it really does mean something to me to find that there are others - albeit most are mothers experiencing this. I rage inside over all the lost opportunities for a complete life this situation has created.



Whatever faith you have in yourself - keep that light going, it's the only true thing you can rely upon - that and the love of your real children.

I have so much more to say, but to even think about this hurts.. I'm sorry it was your story too. How did you change yours?

Oh - this was MY story ... except I slept on the couch for 4 yrs after my son was born!!!