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I Am a Masochist

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By: onegirl7829
Written on August 18th, 2012
I get sexual gratification from pain. Also suffocation and I guess kinkier things like that. Although I am in a relationship and my long time boyfriend doesn't even see it. I think it's a good possibility that I am a masochist but I don't know how to fulfill what I REALLY need. Is there a how to on stuff like this? Is there some middle ground where I can get what I want but not scare him off?? HELP!
By: onegirl7829
Age: 18-21 , Female
201 people have read this story

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    Scarcollection
    Scarcollection

    Another possibility would be the "kinky approach", expecting a vanilla to 'become' a hardcore sadist or Dominant: little chance.

    But there is a middleground: kinky.

    I don't know if you're a sexual couple (some masochists don't like vanilla sex, like me, but I do it once in a while for my partner), but how stupid it may sound: most men are a lot more open for new things when they're horny.

    So maybe this could be the path to walk toward the fullfilment of your masochistic needs?

    Asking him to hurt you out of the blue would probably scare him off, but when he's already enjoying himself sexually, he might be up for discovery: some spanking here, some roughness there.

    It might develope into something you like. :-)



    Personally, I wouldn't start a relationship with a vanilla in the first place, but I can imagine that leaving him isn't an option when you love him dearly.

    A radical other solution is: talking about finding a Dom/sadist to play with outside of your relationship, but a lot of boyfriends wouldn't allow that; monogamy is still the norm.

    Aug 25, 2012
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    mervyco
    mervyco

    Dear Onegirl

    We may have to tread a fairly lonely path. There are couples out there who live the Dom/Domme/sub lifestyle but for most of us it is no more than a masturbatory fantasy. You can tell your BF that you want to kneel to him, accept his punishment for your wrongdoings, or his pleasure, and be subservient to his desires and he will look at you like you are a crazy woman, and run a hundred kilometres in the other direction.

    Discuss it with him, on a serious, not physical, level and say you have these desires and ask how he feels about them. If he is horrified then you just suppress your true self or walk away from the relationship.

    If he says I love you but it is not me, you probably have to do the same.

    If he says that he does not know about it, so what does it mean, then you can go to one of the many blogs/websites and show him and discuss your options.

    I have chosen to stick with my wife and suppress my feelings: she has been ill for many years and cannot cope without me. Once we started to have a F/m relationship but she was not really into it and when she got ill that was the end of that. But you marry for better or worse, sickness and health, so I was duty bound to her as well as in love with her. You may still have a chance to explore your real nature with someone else if you do not feel that you and the BF will be compatible in the long term

    if you want you can contact me on mervyco@gmail.com for a fuller discussion and advice.

    Aug 21, 2012
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