A Simple, Complexity...

Frankly I have seen more twisted people who consider themselves so-called 'normal' in 'normal life' than among those who are within 'the scene,' as they say.

I am I would say, fairly experienced in the world of practising masochists, although not presently resident in as centrally-located a capital city as where the most active groups generally are to be found. 

My tendencies lean toward the typical CP-oriented stuff that you would see in movies like 'Preaching to the Perverted' or 'Maitresse' and more recently 'The Secretary.' I have no personal comprehension of anything to do with self-cutting and so on, and I am myself extremely athletic and have been in various forms of competitive sports at the highest levels in the past. As some others have also said of themselves, it is impossible to tell without knowing, what my age is; many people doubt me when I tell them the truth too about my age! I'm not sure why it is but I have found it to be very typical of many people in the practising world of S&M and CP that they can regularly be a lot older than what they look. I don't look child-like, however, I must add - and never have. Consequently, for me, for someone who still looks 28, I'm sure I can be quite disconcerting to unsuspecting people who think 'well hey, how can he know all that for real??'

As someone therefore who actually lived at a time when CP was still used in some private schools my own experience is that there were and still are many people who deeply deny their own potential sexuality - every single encounter I ever experienced involving real CP as a young person was a deeply sexual thing for me, albeit unfulfilled as overtly so, to both parties at the time. I can add with real knowledge that a lot of CP you can see on the net today is much too mild compared to what happened in the past for real. Yes there also is a lot of stuff that is just wa-a-ay over-the-top too - stuff that does do or risks permanent serious injury and I wonder whether this is related to people turning off down into a too dark path because of this inability to tap into sexual reward more readily.

I must also add that I have extremely complex philosophical and religious views and I don't find any contradictions between the practices you might see on a website like 'The Training of O' and a mainstream religious belief - I know this is hard for some to agree with. I disagree that there are any prohibitions against sex or sexuality even in its widest forms expressed in passages in the Christian Bible for instance; every single well-quoted story contained there, is expressly about injustice or the abuse of power, and not about or specifically against sex per se nor even homosexuality for that matter. Even the story of Soddom expressly talks about the townspeople wanting to forcibly rape the visitors of Lot (presumed to be angels), and not merely to let's say, seduce them. The much maligned offspring of the intercourse of some angels and some women (which is another well-quoted passage) are charged with being 'arrogant, unjust and tyrannical with their strength because of which they were destoyed to remove the unrestrained tyranny from the weaker humankind...'

As an adult I must say I don't like to be involved in extreme sexual games with anyone I think should not be there for any one of a large number and variety of reasons - not physically capable, innocent of the sexual intensities even though I think everyone assumes a right to sex and sexuality, and someone I am just not attracted to (sorry!).

I lead a completely dual life in that I have a partner twenty-five years younger than me with whom I have a 'normal' life and relationship. The qualities that are suitable to one role, are not the same as those for another, and what must appear contradictions in ethics or morals to many people, have real reasons for being there in my view: sheer practicality is one good reason. I just have never found a whole lot of conflict in practice, between my total world, and the world of normal expectations - I am sorry if this offends those who think you can't have too much of a good thing! At one time I used to be a quality high jumper. This was not a team sport and if I thought I could fly over the bar the fact is, no one else came over with me when I did it. How I did it, only I and others who could also do it, ever really knew. I should add that there is an issue about being good looking that is never adequately addressed I don't think. I have come to learn that I am er, quite good looking but never really thought about it or even realised it in any conscious sense when I was a lot younger - in fact I assumed that I was NOT particularly good looking when I was in my teens and twenties because most women would tend to distance themselves from me. My assumption then was that I must not have been attractive. Which was probably a good thing!

Best wishes to all.

kjd 

 

 

 

 

kjdanvers kjdanvers
51-55, M
2 Responses Mar 15, 2010

Corporal Punishment

what is cp?