A Pretty Easy-going Master With A Very Dear *****

My slave boy bill is always trying to get me to be more dominant.  He gets distressed when he hears about the Doms in my life.  I play with a wide variety of gentlemen, you see.  I am a switch.  But I am also his Master.  Even though I'm a woman.  Confusing, I know.

Here's the thing...for the first forty-some years of my life, I was exceptionally unadventurous sexually.  I was told by my mother that men would not buy the cow if milk was too cheap, so like a good girl, I did not have sex with boys.   I put up a very impenetrable forcefield throughout high school and my first year of college.  I kissed, but that was about it.  There may have been a hand job in there once or twice, but by and large, the first really big thing I ever did of which my mother would disapprove was to sleep with my boyfriend when I was a sophomore.  And by "sleep with" of course I mean have sex.  We sucked, licked and ******.  It was lovely.  And then when I graduated, he married me.  I worked hard to stay faithful, even though he slipped a bit.  But suddenly last year, weakened by too many mind-numbingly boring days of pneumonia-induced bedridden status, I succumbed to the thrill of being with other men.

There are a whole lot of interesting men out there.  Seriously.  I'd no idea.  I think I was awfully successful at projecting an aura of respectability, because I'd no idea just how lovely sex can be.  How fun.  And perhaps most importantly, how diverse men are.  The whole Dom/sub thing was a revelation to me.  Initially, I was intrigued by the idea of being a sub, but I come from strong men and women, so it grew a little boring after a while.  Don't get me wrong; I still adore a good bossy guy.  I had some pretty serious sub space fun the other night, in fact.  But a diet of just that gets old.  I find that I have fun being bossy too.  And my slave boy bill rings my bells.  He is very sweet, and the notion of him pleasuring me is delightful.  The dear fellow has been under my thumb for a bit now, giving me hints about what makes him happy.  In essence, he's training Me to be his Mistress.  Or Master, as the case may be.

He introduced that little nugget fairly early on, to get Me comfortable with the idea of gender-bending words.  I'd already picked up the lingo of calling him My ****, My *****, My *****.  I'm not completely comfy with such stuff, so I usually amended it.  He was My sweet ****, My precious *****, My dear *****.  He didn't seem to mind the endearments, which relieved me.  It stresses me out to be mean.  If a man truly wants humiliation, we probably are not meant to be together.

There's a double meaning in that, as Benedick would say.  My writing to other men, phoning them, watching them on cam...all of these things must surely humiliate my husband.  Perhaps we are not meant to be together.  For now, however, I remain.  We have children together who benefit from our being like this.

My dear bill introduced the whole Master thing carefully.  One evening he used the term.

‪me‬:  You are Mine,  Will.
 
bill:  yes
 
‪me‬: To do with as I please.

bill:  yes, my Master
Mistress
 
‪me‬: Such a sweet toy. 
I do adore you, Will.
 
bill:  im honored to know You, Mistress

 
See how he quickly corrected himself?  I wondered a bit if he wished I was a man instead.  But I let it pass without comment.  The next night he used the term again without correcting.  Then he commented on the use of it.  He clearly liked the notion of using it as a juxtaposition to my calling him my *****.  I thought of the whole Master of the hounds thing.  It made sense.  I was reassured that just because I wasn't a man, I could do this thing, serve this function, play this role.

We play, you see.  There are highly formalized things in D/s.  The whole capitalization convention is one.  I'm awful at it, because my inclination is not to -- well, look right here and you see what I mean.  The m in my inclination is not capitalized.  A proper Domme would have done it unthinkingly.  But I don't always think of myself - er, Myself - in that way.  bill says I'm a natural Domme, but that's bull.  I am bossy, sure, but I don't relish controlling a man.  I want to play with him, to give and take.  Take and be taken.  Mix it up.  Have fun.  I'm not the same every day, or even every part of a day.  I'm changeable, fluid, inconstant as the moon.

I didn't even get the importance of using his real name until very recently.  I use so many nom de plumes to protect my own identity that I've come to think of some of them as my own name.  Increasingly, I find one more real to me than the name I was given at birth.  But with bill, it mattered to him that I use his real name.  I'd been calling him will in honour of William Shakespeare.  It seemed like a fun thing to do, to give him a nickname.  Many men have done that with me, giving me a name they liked.  But it only works if the recipient accepts it as part of his or her identity. 

bill:  could You call me bill?
 
‪me‬: I could, yes

bill:  i dont care for will really......but You ultimately decide these things.
 
‪me‬: I do.
 
bill: yes
 
‪me‬: Do you know why I decided to say yes?

bill: no Master
 
‪me‬: Because you think of yourself as bill, don't you?
 
bill: i do
 
‪me‬: I want to get in your head.
If you don't identify as will....
it kind of defeats the purpose
 
bill: i adore You


You'll note I dropped the capitalization of his name.  Early on, I'd used Will or Wills.  But as time went on, I realized the upper case letter has a real power in it.  This man did not want that power attached to himself.  It may take me a while, but I got it.  If I'm going to do a job, I want to do it right.  Being a Domme is harder than it looks.  I'm happy to be bill's Master, though.  I click his collar around him each evening when he appears and we chat for a bit.  Thankfully, part of the whole ***** boy thing is that he has to accept that I have other playmates.  I only wish he wasn't so insistent on my being the perfect Domme personality.  It's terribly flattering, but it's a lot of pressure on a Switch like me.  I may have to get out my little red riding crop and have at his *** the next time he pulls that ****. 
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
1 Response May 17, 2012

That is indeed very interesting to know about that side of a different world a bit. I have always been in sort of interested in it, but never knew a way to approach it. Thank you for sharing it.