Exploring Friendships Vs. Dating At Midlife

Unfortunately I've been divorced twice. I have two sisters who've been divorced three times. My 2nd divorce almost did me in, so I put on the brakes entirely to focus on where I need to be with God and with myself. My sisters and I come from a dysfunctional family background, no example of marriage to speak of other than a bad one! Our father's emotionally erratic behavior had us stressed and the family in turmoil all the time. So, since I've learned that I'm an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), I've come to believe that I need to do what I can to calm my life down and not keep repeating such distressing patterns. My hope is to exchange experiences with others who find themselves in a similar place.

When the thought first occurred to me deliberately to choose not to date, I wasn't sure if I'd really settle into that decision. Over some months of time though, I realize it's freed up emotional and mental space for me. And a somewhat harder aspect of it--things I might have "escaped" thinking about while in a relationship, things that I might need to change or finally accept and make peace with, are more in my conscious awareness now. All in all it's a good place to be.

seabreeze5100 seabreeze5100
46-50, F
3 Responses Feb 24, 2009

I believe as you do, that God's kind intention and purpose are why we met tonight :) I can handle the hugs--I'm a hugger myself! :) Please feel free to write me here on this page or by e-mail if you like. I guess I better catch some z's for now, but looking forward to next time :) (((((angelwings))))) goodnight!

So I have the pleasure of meeting a fellow HSP! All right! :) I hope you'll keep in touch--to vent or share about things in general too if you want.

angelwings626, thank you for your kind words and caring hug :) I'd be very glad for you to add me to your circle and will add you to mine as well. I've felt the same way about the effects on my children of staying too long in a bad situation. I'm sure that like me you were hoping and believing for the best, but now we have a healthier way to invest our optimism--in our healing and in loving our children and those who will be supportive of us.