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Not Sure How To Act

Okay, so for awhile now I've been wondering whether my relationship with my Marine is like most military relationships or if there even is a "normal." I see a future with my guy but it seems like most couples are dead set on marriage and neither me or my guy have come even close to considering it. Is a relationship like this pointless if neither of us knows what will happen to us? He is a very, very emotionless guy when we text and talk who has put up a lot of walls so is difficult to figure out. I don't know whether to pretend like I don't need to be sweet talked occasionally just to remind me of the love that I feel for him or to ask him to change and be more affectionate towards me. And changing him is the last thing I want to do. I just feel like a relationship that is based on talking only for such long periods of time needs more. I love this guy and I want so badly for things to work out it is just incredibly difficult to feel so alone in it.
Can somebody please help me out at answer some questions and give me advice?!
Lizrace Lizrace 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 21, 2013

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I'm in the same boat and trying not to sink. My marine is the definition of no emotion. He served two tours before we started dating and had no one to come home to...I believe this is where his problem lies. But, my advice would be to talk to him. I always have to remind myself that because we don't see one another often a lot of our serious conversations have to be over the phone. But if you don't ever talk to him and tell him how you feel he will never know. And if he is anything like all marines I have ever met, they are EXTREMELY honest. So just make a point to say you're not trying to change him rather trying to tell him what makes you happy. It's all in the way you word things...same as you wouldn't like to feel attacked. Good luck! And if you discover some secret miracle, please let me know! [and if you ever feel alone, remember there are girls our there who are going through the same steps as you...and always available to talk]

Wow, thanks! It's really so great to know I'm not the only one going through something like this. Talking with just my words and no actions is definitely something I can work on and I really think that alone would help alot with the problems that we have. He is a very honest guy which is great because he isnt afraid to tell me how things are and that's just what I need. Best of luck to you and thanks again! :)

Look, if you guys aren't ready for marriage, you aren't ready and that's okay. There is absolutely no reason to rush into it. Honestly, if you guys are happy with where you are currently, then that's okay. However, I would definitely talk to him about how the pressure of marriage in the military has made you really anxious. I felt the same way when my air man first left but after I talked to him through letters, he reassured me that I was the only one he wanted & that made it all okay. Communication is key to your relationship so don't be afraid to be open & honest with him about what's on your mind-- even if it's the fact that you don't always see the affection he feels for you. Stay strong!

Thank you very much that helps alot! I will definitely try to be a better communicator. it's really good to know that it's okay not be be at that point in our relationship. Best of luck to you and yours and thanks again!:)