Its Been A While...

    Well, its been awhile since Ive last written and tonight just feels right.  The last time I wrote was the day before my boyfriend left for a new undisclosed base.  Since then, Ive recieved two small emails that said little more than "I love you and I miss you and I'm safe".  And, even though I wished for more,  those simple words are what have carried me through the past couple weeks.

    Today,  I got my first phone call!  It was a short 10 minute call were nothing too important was said... I shared a million I love you's and fought back countless tears.  I knew that if he heard me cry, it would hurt him.  So, I held it all in... ALL day. Until, now of course! 

    The tears are both a mixture of happiness and sadness, if that makes much sense.  I feel so proud, because I know what he's facing at this time I could never do.  And, I also feel sad.  Sad, because I know he's unhappy without his family and without me.  Sad, because of the lonely nights I'm forced to spend lying awake with worry.  Sad, because I miss his smile, his angry face, his jokes... I miss every little part of him.  Even the parts that I swore against when he was here with me everyday!

      I'll never take the time we spend for granted again.  And, I know this love is true.  What love can stand the test of time and distance if it isnt real?  When he first left I was scared of what would happen to us.  And today, all thats left is determination.  Determination to see this deployment through and determination to not let it get the best of me in the mean time. 

     I've been strong since he left and I'll continue to be strong.  This deployment has brought out the best and worst of me.  But, its the worse that's made me stronger and the best that I will carry on to the future!

     Keep your heads high.... And dont give up on your men, because they havent given up on you.  Its not whats ahead of them that they are fighting for... Its what they've left behind!

Jadeanne337 Jadeanne337
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 24, 2010

You go GIRL! I know you can make it through. I met my man right after his deployment. So he hasnt had to go. I fear the day I have to watch him leave.