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MY Surprising Mr. Right

I am most definitely a military girlfriend.

I love my man so much and we have only known each other since august. which is only 1 month after my (ex)husband and i split. and we have this amazing connection that neither one of us can explain. he even has it with my children. which is wild. but right now he is away for 5 months in texas for school and it has only been a week and i am having a really hard time with it. i miss him soooo much. how do i deal?

AJsGIRL AJsGIRL 31-35, F 11 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly five months now and have known each other for nine years, went to middle school and high school together as well as a year of college so we got to know each other well. It wasn't the usual 'will you go out with me' approach of asking each other out. It was over the phone as he was and still is in Texas and I am in California. It was more convincing him that I could handle the challenges that came with being a military girlfriend so in a way we asked each other out. Only after he was convinced did we start a tentative relationship and after a month of being tentative, we finally figured out that we could make it work and now we do not go a day without texting at least once a day. Phone calls are more rare and only happen when he has the extra free time but when he can call, we will talk for up to three hours. We know that will change when he goes to his next post and we are prepared for that. It took us a month to realize that we had made the right choice and it hurts that we cannot see each other right now but that is all in the past when we do get to see each other. Instead of the usual gifts you can buy for birthday or christmas, he actually surprised me by sending a check for $250 with instructions to get the tattoo I had been wanting. His present was a very personalized set of dog tags that he never takes off. Now he has a picture of the end result of the tattoo on my back, a tattoo a flying bird in tribal style that symbols wherever he is, he will have my support and love flying right beside him. And I can honestly say I love him with all my heart. It is just so much easier to show how much I love him, not forced at all. It feels right and he is the missing piece of my heart.

I met my man on a dating website, just were friends and barely talked, then one day he turned on the charm and fell hard and fast. I don't know what it is about military men but they truly are amazing. I love him so much, we just have a super close connection. We started "dating" the end of December 2010, saw each other as often as was possible with a 45 minute drive each way and busy individual lives and then he got sent to training the beginning of march last year. I didn't see him from February 20th till June 8th. Then he was gone again and I didn't get to see him before he left july 9th. we skyped and texted/IMed as often as possible but I'd go for a week or more without any indication if he was alive or not. He will be heading back to the US very soon and I am so anxious to see him in person. it has been the hardest 9 months of my life. i wish u the very best of luck

I echo all of those things. I met my guy online thinking we would just be penpals. He was a month away from deploying so it didn't make sense to meet. Then we got so close on the phone and I met him while he was on leave. I knew then that he was the one for me, and when he gets back in a few months we are gonna get married. I haven't even gotten legally divorced (should be final in July, and we have been living apart for almost 3 years, just too lazy to do the papers) and I already know I wanna marry him. He is my everything. <br />
this is day 2 of his deployment, he is getting situated now. My life feels so empty without him. I don't know how I am gonna do this:(

I agree with the other ladies, and you can add me to the list; I met my Marine this past August and our connection has been like no other. I think a lot of military men are charasmatic in that way. Although we have only known each other for such a short time we truly connected emotionally. Currently he is away in Arizona in training and I miss not being able to talk to him. I just celebrated my birthday last week and what truly made my day was to receive a birthday shout out from him on Facebook. He's stationed currently in NC and I live in MD so we have the distance factor. Also the government contract that I had been previously working on ended two weeks ago so I have been out searching for a job. The crazy thing about military relationships is that as girlfriends we must be flexible with our time. My man should be back the second week in November and then we will be able to see each other. I will encourage you to keep busy like the rest of the women were saying, stay optimistic and once your man is back home safe and sound start asking him about longterm goals and committments. I am sure alot of us want to eventually marry our men. I know I want to marry mine; and the time away from him has allowed me to think seriously about my feelings for him. The other funny thing about being a military girlfriend is that the time factor is not always on our side so we have to act swift on making life decisions. For example, if I was dating a man who was a civilian, we would have at least 6 months to a year to make serious committments; however by dating a military man you have things to think about like training, deployment, field ops, these activities keep our men physically away from us at times. I can't speak for anyone else but I know that the connection between my man and I is so strong I want to be with him all the time. If I can help it; I would love to be married to him before he gets deployed. I also keep an electronic journal so when I think about him I right a poem or letter and date them. You must do what you feel is going to help you get through the hard times. Hang in there my sister.

Everytime my fiancee leaves i tell myself ill get through this and its good. i catch up on me time, i dont have kids but for u i suggest spending a lot of time with the kidds. Girl time is a must. i joke around with him all the time, i always say im happy he is gone so i can watch chick flicks and i dont have to fight over the remote. and when i go shopping i can take my time and not stay in a store for ten minutes and have my mind made up lol. every morning when i woke up i was sad cuz it was another day i wasnt going to see him, but everyday you wake up you are that much closer to seeing him again. Being with a military person is one of the hardest things to do. it will break you, and only the strogest last. but in the end true love will carry you through. Keep yourself b usy and prepare for his arrival. Get sexy outfits and surprise him =) lol

hey i know how you feel... i just started dating my boyfriend in august too...he just left to iraq not even a month ago.. we are the same as you and your guy... i never thought i could love someone as much as i love my boyfriend i miss him like crazy too... so i just try and stay busy and i just tell myself everyday that i am one day closer then i was the day before!!!

Hi! I had my first date with my boyfriend (and met him in person) in August...we've been inseparable ever since. He left for basic September 21; I imagine he's in week 1 of basic as I guess he just finished zero week. It's hard. I thought maybe it'd be easier on me because I was in the military (briefly-injury)-it's not. In some ways, it's a little harder because I know everything that can go wrong. At the same time, I know that when I was in basic, those military men were the best men I've ever been around-so be strong in knowing that your man is one of the best men there is just like the rest of our men! <br />
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I believe that true love can be felt, understood, and acknowledged in a brief period of time. I've never loved anyone the way I love this man who's in basic. I wouldn't wait for him if I didn't. <br />
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How I feel better: I haven't gotten a letter yet, but I imagine I will soon. I pretend like I'm a woman from decades ago when dating a soldier was the norm. I'm even going to get a shoebox and keep it by my bed and fill his letters with those. When we marry (which according to him we will), I will have those letters at my wedding and I will keep them with me forever. For some reason, this makes me feel better. I check my mailbox regularly, it's kind of like 10 weeks of Christmas, you know? Anyway, I hope maybe that common ground helps you feel a little better!

I just joined this group but my bf is in Iraq and what has been getting me thru this deployment is staying busy, trying new things and writting in a journal about my thoughts and feelings. I write letters to my bf and letting him know about what I am doing, he wants to hear about normal life and he wants me to do the regular things I would be doing if he was here. <br />
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Stay strong sweetie!!

i wish i had some really good advice but i am in almost the same boat...dating an army guy and he is in hawaii he was over in iraq for 15 months and the whole time he was there we were talking as soon as he came home we spent every day together and it was amazing. but now im sitting here wishing he was here. i just focus on when he is coming home and that seems to make things better. he also sends me lil surprises like every week he is such a sweet heart. i wish u luck!

Hello Girl.<br />
I just joined this group, as my boyfriend also just left for school.. We met July 2006 and were friends for a year, and got together July 2007... So we have been dating 8 months now.. I knew from day one he was going to start military training, but it is hard! He left a week ago, and it already sucks! We use to talk everyday through txt, phone or msn.. the lucky part is , there is a payphone where he is, so I have been able to talk to him, and hope I can every few days... Anyway I agree with the above comment, keep busy, I joined up for a yoga and salsa class, and just make sure to keep busy with work and visiting friends...<br />
I searched today for groups like this, to hear others stories!.... Nice to hear yours.

Hey girl! I know exactly what you're going through right now! My fiancee is getting ready to deploy to Iraq for six months. He hasnt even left yet and its already getting hard for me! I know how hard this must be for you and there is no easy way to deal with this believe me, but in the end he will be coming home and you will be able to be with him again and it will also make you both stronger in love! My advice to you would be to just keep yourself very busy and surround yourself with the love and support of your family and friends. Its very hard to deal with something like this and it ALWAYS helps to have someone to talk to that knows exactly what you're going through, so if you ever want to talk I am always here and always on! And if you have a myspace mine is www.myspace.com/reneacrawford, send me a friend request if you have one and we can talk on there as well!!!<br />
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MarineFiancee15