Nite Babe

I wake up every morning and check my phone looking for a text message or hoping I didn't miss a random call. There's normally nothing. I go through my day working in a daycare practically on my own with nine screaming kids but I try to stay positive about it. The whole day I keep my phone in my hand or back pocket so I can feel the vibration. Its on loud but sometimes I miss the three beeps. Every time my phone vibrates my heart leaps from my chest but I brace myself before looking trying not to get excited because it probably wont be him. I unlock my phone. Look and see it wasn't him and even though I didn't excite myself Im still let down. I go through the rest of my day and still with my phone in hand. I try not to take naps cause I don't want to miss a text or call but I always fall to exhaustion. I wake up from my 3 hour nap check my phone and still nothing. I get up clean my room and the house, eat watch TV and check my facebook. Phone still in hand and still nothing from him. By nine I try to get ready for bed. Im in California and he is in Virginia so even though he is 3 hrs ahead of me and in bed, my heart cant help but hope Ill get something. Ten o'clock rolls by, eleven and then twelve, still nothing. By now im so lonely and lost I can't help but cry until I am out of tears. My mind races about all the possible reasons why I didn't hear from him and they are always negative reasons. By one o'clock in the morning four o'clock his time I get up the courage to leave him a text message (cause thats when he wakes up) just saying, Good Morning Babe, Hope you have a great day, Love you.

The next day I go through the same routine and.............and still Nothing. Im so sad I cant listen to music or watch TV cause I will more than likely just cry from the things I see that remind me of him. My family doesn't really understand so I have to hide my tears or go isolate myself until Im cool again. Sometimes I go outside cause Im truly alone to breathe and cry if I have to. Its just peaceful. I tell myself to chill and its not that big a deal, he is busy and its ONLY AIT. My mind gets it but my heart wont. Ive never loved someone like I do him, Ive never longed and wanted someone so bad that you just feel completely lost and worried when you didn't hear from them........My mind starts to wander on all the possibilities of why we didn't talk. Especially when im on Facebook and see some of the other significant others post about how they talked to their men and it hits me HARD. I cant help but wonder why I don't have as many happy moments as them. Don't get me wrong I do have my moments and I love them and Im honestly happy for them but I just wish their posts were mines if that makes since. But then I have to kick myself and remind myself of a few things. First off he doesn't have his computer, he's BUSY WORKING. He cant always contact me and he could be exhausted from the day he had. I also remember something he told me "This is what Im doin 4 both of was just 4 my future but there are other factors in my life. I love you babe, don't ever forget that." So I remember those things, that this is the life I agreed to as long as we are together because I LOVE HIM and that I can make it through this. Surprisingly that helps me through the rest of the day and I sleep better.

Then the next day rolls around. Its a rough day with the kids and im worn out with them and being stuck at home. After work I lay down and try to not think about my phone or him with little success. Im about to drift off when my phone vibrates and beeps 3 times. My heart jumps and I almost ignore it but my heart wont let me. I grab my phone, unlock it and go to my messages. New Message from Roderick Giles. *Sigh* I turn my phone over and fall asleep. Wake up hours later, clean eat, take a shower, log into facebook and experience project to check a few things.

In no mood for much and I get in bed. Pray and think about him until I almost drift off. Then my phone vibrates and beeps three times. I roll over grab my phone, unlock it, and go to my messages. New Message from Demetrius Perry. My heart almost jumps through my chest. I sit up open the message and all it says is Nite babe. I actually become SO happy, maybe tear up a little and then reply Nite babe, I love you. I send it, lock my phone, plug it up to the charger roll over and fall asleep with a smile on my face.

I love you PFC Perry and I hope you always remember that. 
Manolo88 Manolo88
18-21, F
35 Responses Feb 28, 2011

I salute you for patiently waiting for that gentleman I hope you have happily ever after some cases no answer being silent means another thing...keep the faith

Awww. The true power of love.

I envy you. You're lucky. The way you talk, you must be completely in love with him. And that same person who is so perfect for you wants to be your boyfriend and father to your kids. You probably get to see him for a portion of every year at least. And I know there are not huge deployments every year.

I once felt as stongly about someone as you do, it was a norwegien girl. And being all the way in Northern Norway, and me in Canada, it was too hard for her. And for some reason she didn't feel right if I came there. So she decided we shouldn't keep in touch anymore. I've been living my life alone ever since, every girl that I meet will never compare. I would give my life right now just to hold her in my arms for a few seconds, but I have to accept it will never happen.

I can only imagine how happy I would be to be in your situation and see her every year. Count yourself lucky to have found the love of your life and to have him in your life. Most people don't have love as strong as yours.

BTDT including having been in the military myself. It's important for you to have your own life just like he has his. Don't just hang around the house after work hoping you'll hear from him. Do things with your friends, volunteer, take a class or workshop. That way you'll be happy while also having interesting things to share with him.

He's on an adventure. Allow adventure (I'm not suggesting that you date or anything like that, but I am suggesting that you do things that you like) into your life. Putting everything on hold for him will in the long run probably make your relationship worse, not better. A girlfriend back home whose main conversation is "I miss youuuuu" or "My work is so boring" will after a while seem pretty darned dull.

I had to learn all of this the hard way.

Thanks for the advice. At the time it was just really hard because i had never been without him and it really sucked and was something i had to get used to. So yes i waited and longed to hear from him and just kniw he was ok. Since then my life has changed and i did enlist myself. Did my time in the military and understand the life.

I don't get it. I understand your super thrilled to hear from him but I am sure he knows by now how aggressive you are about waiting to hear from him and that's all he could manage to send? Was Nite? I have never been in your shoes but I don't see how after days that could be the only text he has to respond with.

After being in the military myself i understand how hard communication can be hard and how tired you can get. Yea i could have gotten more but i understand. I was just glad to know he was ok lol

i know.. my feeling would have been hurt.. i kinda fee like he doesn't care much..

i cried when I read your story. im going through something like that except my bf left for boot camp and its only been a week and a half but its so hard not to hear from him even though I know it might be impossible for him to call me or write to me. I imagine the next couple of months being the same way and I have so many thoughts going through my head but what keeps me going is the same thing your man said to you " I am doing this for us.." that's why I try hard to push myself because I also agreed to this and because I love him so much and I know he loves me because he would tell me so many times til the very last day we saw each other. your story and the love you both have for each other is truly amazing and I will also try my best to work through the rest of the months. thank you for posting up your story because it helped me feel a little better.

Wow AIT seems worse then basic 😳😢😔

Your story warms my heart. Its a love that many people in this world never get to experience. I know men aren't supposed to talk like this but I stopped caring about what others think about me a long time ago. I too know how fee;ings for another person can actually be physical. I miss my wife and child almost every time i walk out the door. So much that it hurts. I only want to be with them and dread the long hours i have to put in everyday to make sure they get everything they need. Your man is doing what he believes is best for you and him to have a happy life together. He is giving not just you but every citizen of this country the ultimate sacrifice. Have faith and keep remembering that one day you'll be together again. Try to be strong as he is doing the same for you i'm sure. If he knows how you feel about him as he's still around tells me that he feels the same way. God bless you both and I hope you get to ne w/ him soon

I'm wishing I had a girl like that right now so I could treat her right.

I feel if you are still struggling with this....get the book american sniper. It will give you a MUCH better insight. It helped me chill out.

It't that simple to keep us happy isn't it. I hope more people got that.

Awww your story is so sweet. Hang in there! :)

That is word for word what I go through every day!!!! Thank you! I thought I was crazy

You're an inspiration, you and your boyfriend are just great inspirations to me. It gives you hope

I understand what you're going through babe. real love will unite no matter how far,how difficult it may seem to be. I wish you and your bf the best! Love your post dear.

I wish a guy would write you back for his perspective. As you know, he IS super busy. He wants to talk with you, be with you, so you are just making it harder on him. Just chill for a bit. The thing that pushes a lot of guys away, is pressure, drama, and being needy and clingy. I know you already know this. When I was in the military, we had no cell phone to just had to focus on your objective.
Go out with friends. Do something fun that takes your mind off things. My heart breaks for you, but please don't push him away...that will be worse for you. Don't just say "I know"...put your phone in a sock drawer, shut it...and go have fun.

Thank you for your response! At the time it was just hard because I was so used to having him with me everyday. Also because I was seeing other females bf's and husbands sending them gifts and letters and calling all the time, it hurt when I wasnt getting anything. BUUT I just left the service and it makes since. You get sooo caught up cause there is no room for messing up that you get distracted. Constantly on the go, 16 hr days, that time slips away. I went days without speaking to my family and it didnt even feel like a day. So ladies try not to be too upset. It is not intentional at all. Stay busy. It helped when I was a military gf and eases the both of you.

excuse me my name is krish and my nic name is orten as you like to chat friend

Well, it comes with the military package, you did think about it be4 engaging right?

Very beautiful puts a smile on my face

This is exactly how I am living throughout my days. I am afraid to sleep because I am hoping to hear from him even if it is just to say I love you or good night. I have my phone by me at all times. I do feel like if I do not hear from him everyday, there could be something wrong so I have to remind myself to think positively. Even at this moment... I am waiting. I will send a text in the morning and not hear nothing and I feel like crying. I thought I may be going crazy but now I know I am not the only one out there. Thank You so much!!!

I know how you feel there...every day...looking for a note....thinking the worst...knowing it cant be....but love them so much cannot help it....go through the day...half your head on them all I MEAN ALL the time....trying to understand...being positive....because their job is so demanding....sending as much love as possible to help them....remind them you are always in the background supporting them....and they do know and appreciate it. One word from them makes you float....for days. God Bless you honey. Stay positive...its the only way to stay sanexxx

This helped me SO much, thank you. And you are a strong women, and I really admire that. Thank you for making my day.

God I miss this <3

I can't help but ball my eyes out from reading this my boyfriend just left for fort Hood on Thursday & I've only talked to him once since then for an hour & 28 minutes, Ya I counted every minute! I miss him so much it hurts... It's kinda crazy how happy u can get from something as simple as a few text messages. I try to go threw every day with a smile on my for my child's sake but it doesn't always happen the only thing that makes me happy is any type of contact from him...

This is why military wives/girlfriends need someone to talk to who can really relate and understand. This huge weight has been lifted becasuse SOMEONE feels my suffering. I realize that these feelings I have are completely normal and rational. However some people just don't get it....and that's why I'm here lol

You're being so strong! If you need a good cry just cry. But rememeber....he's coming home to you and only you. He loves you and it's just as hard for him. He probably can't sleep without you next to him. Know you're on his mind and when he comes home --just how special its going to be. And the look on his face after he hasn't seen you in so long :) Magic.

That is so great...helped me too...thank you JillyBaby....thank youx

while i was reading this i started to cry. its like you were right in my head and knew exactly how to say it and when to say it. especially when it came to the whole family not really understanding, working at a daycare, Facebook post, and him doing things for you. Frankie told me the same thing about doing this for me. Money isn't looking as good as we want it to, and the economy isn't going to get any better. I find myself as well questioning things and blaming myself for this since he is doing it for me. Even though he just started doing paperwork like 4 days ago I feel like this whole basic and AIT process is going to go by slow. It kills me later on in the day after working at the daycare that I don't have anything else to keep my mind busy. When nap time comes around for the kids I really start to get sad nevertheless depressed because usually around that time I would be on the phone with him telling him how the "circle of demons" (what I call the kids at the daycare) got on my nerves and how our children wouldn't be. lol. I see now that before, I would take talking to him at the crack of dawn until the darkest of the night, as an advantage. If you ever need to talk or vent about how you feel, I'm here for you :)

I, also agree with everything you said! Im the same way, luckily my boyfriend and i get to talk almost reguarly, and im so thankful for that, but sometimes i wish i wouldnt have got use to talking to him all the time again because i know its gonna get taken away again. :( Keep that head up honey, if you ever need anything im here to talk to! :)

I mean I don't know what's he is going through at all, he just sent me a text that he got his head shaved and it's like I want to know what he is going through but I don't cuz I have heard horror stories! I am surprised he has actually sent me as many messages in the past few days that he has I am afraid he will get in big trouble! Sorry I seem like a big baby but this is just a shock to the system, I know a deployment will be even worse!

I feel strong but we all have our moments which suck lol. I totally understand what your going through with your boyfriend going to BCT. If you ever have any questions You can always ask me, if you need advice or just want to vent, Im here. <br />
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Just a warning......I like to give lots of details when asked questions lol. I just feel it helps :)<br />
Wish you the best of luck with you and your boyfriend. Its hard but you will make it through basic fine with him. It'll go by QUICK!

I totally understand what you're feeling...I am new to this whole military life. Mike left for basic a few weeks ago and we went from talking and see each other all the time to nothing. When I hung up with him the last day before he got to ba<x>se, I said it will be OK I will talk to him he will miss me. But it's only been nothing in 2 weeks. I got a call from his mom saying Mike was safe and he only had one call to make for 20 sec, I wasn't mad he called his parents. But I miss him so much and I am just sitting here waiting for the phone to go off hoping it will say his name and show his picture. I love him and I know he loves me too and that's the only thing getting me through, but it will be worth it! Mike says he is doing this for me and us too, and its hard to see that at the time but really he is. Life will be better financially in the future and I have already made a lot of friends with other military gf/wives. Keep your head up!

Thanks guys. I was hoping I wasn't the only one going through this and Sunday night I was at my breaking point. I just didn't know what to think and writing this down helped. I did my routine text at one in the morning and he finally replied. It was good to hear from him but things aren't great for him over there :(. What kills me is he told me he's doing this for me and I hate that he goes through hell for ME. I DEFINITELY didn't ask him to do this but then Im glad he's doing it. Idk lots of mixed feelings. Just cant wait for him to come back.

wow... this just made me tear up... I feel ya girl... my man is in Iraq... communication is difficult. I'm here if you need anything. :)

Wow very well said, tearing up remembering how I feel exactly the same. My phone has become my closest friend I think just because my boy is "in it" haha. When I feel let down by no calls are messages I just go back and read all our previous ones and I know if he could call he would. Stay strong girl. Always here if you need anything, we're in this together :)

Girl, I know just how you feel. When I was reading this I felt as if I had written it. I've not heard from my man since Wednesday night. I always seem to text him at least once a day just to tell him I'm thinkin of him. If you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me.