Is He Trying To Push Me Away?

So we have known eachother six years and been dating two months. At first everything was perfect. Too good to be true. Now he has more responsibilities in his job with the AF and he's working crazy hours Amd constantly sleeping and I barely get to see him. I've probably seen him twice in the last 3 weeks. Not seeing him bothers me only on the weekends because it's his time
Off and it seems like he doesn't even make am effort to try to See me. Of course I don't tell him anything because I sort of mentioned it and then "got in trouble" by expressing my feelings. So today he was texting me that he missed me And wishes I wasn't allergic to cats so I could come over and take care of his hurt ankle (his mom has cats at the house) I told him it only bothers me
For ten mins then I am good and I'd be happy to come rub his ankle. And he said "baby why do you put up with this" and I said because I am crazy about you. And Im not putting up with anything. I want to be there for you and help you always. Well he proceded to tell me that I was too good for him. And he wasn't right for me and that he can't be there for me like I am for him
And I need someone who will make me a priority and if he knew his job would be this way he wouldn't have started this relationship. That a part of him wishes I will get tired of him because he can't give me what I need. I of course said life can be difficult and we have to run into obstacle courses at times but that makes us stronger and that I am
Not going anywhere unless he doesn't want me by his side. He said I didn't understand how he feels. I know how he feels. I kept reassuring him and said i really dont know what you want u meed to tell me. Then he said I don't know what I want to do. So I didn't answer him bc I tend to have smart remarks. So 30 mins later he texts and said so youre not talking to me? I said I just dont know how to respond to that comment. U have a girl who's here for u and who loves you but u just won't accept it. I don't know what I can say anymore and he said it's not u Hun. U just Don't understand. And I said yes I do. And he said u are the hardest person to talk to I just want you to know. I said I can talk In a text message we don't hear eachother and context comes across
Differently. And he said whatever Im going to bed. And I said oh my goodness geeze what did I do now? Goodnight and he mocked me and said really? Omg geeze was that necessary? I just said goodnight. And he said night.
I am sorry for the extravagant story, but I feel like he's trying to push me away? Or is there someone else? I have good
Instincts and honestly he was a good bf but now when he's not tired he does other stuff instead of hang out with me. I don't know where I even begin to bring this up. He did mention that today though that he went a got drunk instead of hanging out with me and that was wrong and didn't I think so? So I said ya I thought that. I don't want to lose him. But he def isn't putting me up on that priority list and def doesn't make any time for me. I don't know if he's scared I'm gonna leave (which I think he ex totally burnt him
This way) and he's just trying to push me away now bc he thinks I'll be the same way? Any input would be really appreciated!!!
Meg91588 Meg91588
1 Response Oct 4, 2011

I wonder if he's pushing you like this to see if you'll hang on. My boyfriend did this at the start of our relationship too, but the harder I pushed back, the more he started to realize I wasn't going anywhere. He also may be protecting himself. He doesn't want to get his hopes up that you're going to hang around and then, first deployment or first two months you can't see each other, you're gone. Just keep reassuring him that you're going to be around for a while, unless HE decides differently, that you've already chosen to stay. Good luck =] Feel free to contact me if you need anymore help!!

Erin, I think you're exactly right. And I have been pushing back harder. He's also been really I guess u could say needy acting lately. It's kinda cute but at the same time strange. He's been going thru these up and down moods. But I'm still here. And I'm not going anywhere. I don't care how many times I have to tell him. I also think he's doing this because he told me
A month ago they might be deploying him in Feb and it seems like since he's told me that, he's started pushing me away. Thank you for the wonderful advise! I will continue to push back