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Is It Over?

My, well ex boyfriend now, who is about to graduate from Navy aschool on Dec. 2, and I Had been dating for a little over a year up until a week ago. He said he wanted to marry me, that he couldn't wait to come home, he had me pick out a ring. Then after a while of happiness, he ignores me for almost two weeks, and breaks up with me with out warning. Now he's coming home and I'm giving him his things the first Monday he's home and I just don't understand how you can go from loving someone to not loving them at all in a heart beat. What happened? Is it over?
jh3557 jh3557 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 29, 2011

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Hey, i went through the same thing with my boyfriend except we didnt talk for over 2 months, but now we are back together. He also broke up with me because he was stressed out with his family and tech school and he needed to sort some things out. But after 2 1/2 months of no contact at all we started talking again and things have been going pretty good. It may be over but theres a good possibility that its not completely over and that you guys will get back together it just may take some time. So still have some hope. I hope it works out for you! And if you ever need anyone to talk to im here. :) Stay strong!

Your story makes me nervous because my boyfriend hasn't been talking to me as much recently either. Did he give you a reason? I would try to find out what his rationale was because that can give a lot of insight into whether it is the end or not.

He said he couldn't handle having a relationship anymore and dealing with his own life a, nor could he lie about how he felt anymore...
I have a more indepth explanation in another story called my navy boyfriend broke up with me.

If that's the case, then all hope isn't completely lost. My boyfriend and I broke up several times in our early days because him being in the military and we even had one of those break ups that were so bad I had to go to therapy. We got back together though a year later, and even though I still doubt him at times, he has assured me that he won't leave me. I don't mean to go on about myself, but my point is that it may not be over, even though it feels like it. I don't want to give you false hope, but you never know what will happen. And obviously he must have loved you dearly at some point if he wanted to marry you :)

Wow... that sounds tough. When we first started dating, not even a month in he broke up with me, same month and week the first time as this time, because he was going into the military, but we got back together after a week or so because he realized that it was a dumb reason. Then everything was fine until October this year when he started to doubt that he loved me and then with him being put in medical holding he had time to think and everything was fine for a while, and then he wanted space and pretty much ignored me for two weeks and then just ended it. Out of nowhere. I've spent holidays with his family, and gone on long trips with them, an entire weekend up north, I live in MN it was like an 8hr drive to and from the location, and he went as far as to ordering me a pair of earrings while he was at boot camp that he's still paying off. he still wants to be friends and he still wants to give me a hug and he gets worried that I'll do something that will make him cry. I'm not looking for false hope, he's just making me very confused .

It sounds almost like he's confusing you because he doesn't know what he wants himself. It seems like he does care a lot about you, but maybe he's a afraid? It's really hard to say, and I wish there was more insight I could offer. I would be patient. Don't push him or anything but give him space but attempt to maintain friendly contact. He may still have feelings for you but he is just very confused. He may not be sure of what he wants. Really the best thing you can do is to just let your life go on just in case nothing happens. How old is he? That could have a lot to do with it.

I understand that might be the case and I do plan on being friends with him, somehow..? but In order for me to get on with my life right now, and I told him this, I need to give him his things, because I can't take seeing them when I get home and crying everyday.. He's 19, about to be 20 in July.

If he's only 19 then I'm not surprised. Most 19 year olds don't want to be tied down. I know because I got dumped when he was 20. Definitely give his stuff back, holding on never helps people to get on with their lives. He sounds like a decent person. You won't be able to be friends at first, but it give it time. You both need this break up to fade away and be forgotten in order to be friends. Otherwise you will only ever see him as a boyfriend.

I know and I'm already starting to see him just as a friend.

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