Dealing With Deployment While Juggling So Many Other Of Lifes Surprises

So I haven't been with my boyfriend for all that long. We started seeing each other last summer. Became serious in november. He is my first military boyrfriend. He was deployed to Afghanistan March 8th. It has been the longest few months of my life so far. It's been an emotional rollercoaster from hell. First there's adapting to this new way of life for me. I knew he was deploying from the beginning. I support him and what he does. But it is hard when you watch the one you love board that plane that's taking them from you for god knows how long. The fear that something could happen is constant. I find myself glued to the news somedays and terrified to look other days. So I got the normal stresses any person who has a deployed loved one goes through. We were having some relationship issues before he left. I felt these things were never fully resolved before he deployed. They were some deal breaker kind of issues. So I also have that swimming around in my head causing added stress. On March 20th I also discovered I'm pregnant. I'm happy about it but also kind of shocked and taken back. I wasn't really expecting that for one and secondly I'm already dealing with so many new feelings and stresses. Now preparing for a baby on top of everything else. I work two jobs and I have a daughter who will be 11 this month. There's alot going on in my world. I told my boyfriend about the pregnancy. He's over joyed by the news. I am happy he is so happy about it. Shortly after I discovered another thing he had been hiding from me. I lost it on him when we were talking online. Once again he swore he wouldn't continue to do these actions and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me or upset me. He promised to make it up to me. Ever since he has been more then sweet to me. So I figured things would be ok. I moved at the end of April. That was so stressful. Trying to move by myself with no vehicle was torturous. Some how I made it work. I just kept telling myself "my hunny will be home in june for 18 days, I will take time off work and relax with him". Well, so much for that. He tells me that he is no longer getting his leave. That broke my heart. I was so set on him comming home the first week of june. I'm pretty sure I will have my second ultrasound during that time frame he was suppose to be here. My first ultrasound is in a week. But the second ultrasound is when we'll find out the baby's gender. We no longer know when he will be home. It would just be nice to have some sort of time frame. Gives me something to look forward to. We have had issues but I believe we are trying to work through them. I love him very much and can't wait til my love is home with me. So far I haven't completely lost it from all the stress but I don't know how many more of lifes surprises I can handle.
mizzT mizzT
26-30, F
1 Response May 9, 2012

sometimes its hard to have a hubby on overseas work and what you do is pray that he will be ok and that somehow all the issues will be over and sort it out for having a family is really a great responsibility to do i just hope your ok and thanks for being my friend here in ep.<br />
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tawam

It is hard but I accepted this when I decided to have a military boyfriend. I'm just hoping our issues can be resolved. I'd rather not me a single mother of two. Thanks for your comment and support :)

i always support my friends here im also working overseas and i have 1 kid and my family is in the Philippines,do you hear anything about my country?im sure you would patch up and sort all things that trouble you and your bf and beside a baby is coming i wish i could be the baby godfather...thats amazing really overseas godfather wow thats ecstatic,would you mind if ill be the godfather of your baby?