Uncertainty

I'm such a mess. I got a phone call and a letter, which lit up my world, but I still miss him. I write him every day and wish he'd get the letter right away, so he'll know this instant that I'm here loving him and trying to support him.

Will he have time to be at home for a little while after basic training?
How many days should I take off to go see him graduate?
I have all these questions he can't answer until a week later and it's not the answer I need, it's him. And what if I don't get to see him graduate? And what if he gets hurt?

He's in basic training right now. We were in the 6th month of our relationship, after 5 years of cat and mouse, when he left. I cannot stand this. I hate it. I hate it so much.
I'm proud of him, and I'm glad he's doing all his, but it is truly difficult to wake up every morning and not have him there. To feel alone in a vast crowd of people who don't understand. To have so many other things going on and having to move like I'm not suffering.

I feel so helpless, not being able to do more for him. I feel so hopeless, not knowing what will happen. I',m a mess.
BrittlesV BrittlesV
18-21, F
2 Responses Sep 5, 2012

After basic training he will go to AIT. Not sure what his MOS is but I do know during AIT for the first little while you can't go off post or wear civilian clothes. But the army is changing so they could of changed that. Feel free to ask me any questions I am a Marine girfriend but an Army veteran. But keep your head up I had a bf when I was in basic training I loved getting letters. I'm sure he knows you love him. I know how you feel though with missing him. My boyfriends deployed and I feel like I am going insane

the most important thing is not to feel hopeless. as long as you love each other and you are there for him then that's all that matters. if you let yourself feel hopeless than the situation becomes hopeless. just stay strong.