Getting The Right Support

Not having people who understand what im going through.
My best friend is really supporting but she doesnt get it. I told her today (while she was complaining about her bf) that she shouldnt fight with him because she is lucky that she gets to see him and that he is here close to her while I wish I could have my bf here. She said the words I knew were bound to come up one day and it infuriated me. "He chose to go into that" Yes, Im aware it was his choice to join the military and be brave and help keep us safe here at home but that doesnt mean I dont get to feel bad and miss him. I dont need someone telling me how it was my choice to stay with him while he left. There wasnt another choice. It was be with him no matter what or be completely stupid and walk away from the man who makes my days and my life better even now that he isnt here with me physically.
His best friend is telling me that everything is fine and that I dont need to worry, again, I know all of that and I know we are going to be okay, I just need to hear that Im allowed to lose my mind a little and that Im allowed to cry when I remember all those little things about him that I miss.
I feel like Im lost. Like I have all these people around me but they dont get anything at all.
The worst part is seeing my phone every day and not having anything from him. Waking up to a phone that is fully charged because I didnt drain the battery falling asleep on the phone with him. Seeing texts from people who keep saying Im okay. I dont want to hear that. I want to vent and complain and cry and have someone say its okay to do so as long as I wipe the tears away when Im done and get on with my day. I feel alone and I miss my bf so much...
Loneliness, thats the hardest part of being a military girlfriend.
allyceex allyceex
26-30, F
Sep 19, 2012