Is It Cheating?

So about a week ago, i found suggestive convos on my boyfriends facebook with two girls he used to know from high school. He's deploying in the next month or so, and he's going home on predeployment leave, so the timing makes me feel like even though he didn't do anything, he was leading up to bad behavior for when he gets back home. I confronted him about it and he was extremely apologetic, admitted he had a problem but swears he want planning on actually doing anything. He's agreed to pay for couples therapy for when we get back home, but I'm wondering if it is enough. The hardest thing is he's deploying so so soon and I can't really imagine not talking to him during this time, I've been mentally gearing up for this deployment for the better part of the year. I do want to work it out, and he is willing to put in work (and money) to fix things. Should I try to work through it? Is talking to other women semi sexually online cheating? Is it naive to try to fix things after something like this? I need advice...
tjschira tjschira
1 Response Sep 27, 2012

I've been in your same situation as far as the messages with girls go with a guy who I was with for two years. I didn't say anything right away but eventually did confront him. He also was apologetic and said he never did anything physically. It did hurt my feelings though that he did it behind my back. Simplest way I can put it to him: how would you feel if I did it to you? He then responded that he would be very upset. I don't think you are being naive, because I'm sure he would want the same respect from you. Just turn the tables and see what his response is. I think it's fixable and you should work through this. Trust is a valuable thing to gain so it won't be easy but if you're both willing to try then you should.