My Medic Takes Care Of Your Military Men

Ive had the great opportunity to get to know this amazing man, we are officially together after 3 months of getting to know each other and me supporting him through the post traumatic stress disorder. Roughest start to a relationship Ive ever had but we pushed through it, I pushed through it, Never in my life did I ever practice such patience, have such strength and courage. It sure paid off. He was home for 2months and had finally started to adjust back to civilian life when he got the call Wednesday before thanksgiving to go back to iraq. He is leaving in less than 2hours.
I spent the past week with him but all that seemed to be on his mind is that he was happy to go back out there. Here I am, happy for him because he is going back to what he loves to do yet I have the biggest fear of the unknown. What if he doesn't come home? In these few months i got to know him I know now that he is going to be my husband one day, but will he be able to settle and not return to the middle east? War is unfortunately an addiction. The rush of adrenaline makes them feel more alive than ever. Will he chose this over me? The past few days I grew incredibly close to his family and friends..im spending Christmas with his family while he will be out there... I didnt realize what ive signed up for, yet im in to deep, i love him...I cant walk away, I just cant. Im so proud of him and would go through the PTSD with him a million times over...but what happens when he comes home again??? Will Post Traumatic stress disorder creep up on him again? WIll this be a viscous circle which goes around and around until he comes home in a wooden box? Am I strong enough? Can I do this or are men like him...who continuously go back for more punishment because when duty calls they cant turn their country away meant to rather be alone?
hansti hansti
22-25, F
Nov 26, 2012