Said Something I Shouldn't Have

Lately I've been feeling alittle frustrated with Ryan. I real care about him but sometimes I feel like he doesn't feel the same way. I know he's busy and it just seems like he works 24/7 but its because of the stupid time difference. I make time to send him a text saying I love you daily so he knows I'm here for him, but seriously it take 2 seconds I know he gets time to eat and when he goes back to the barracks but he doesn't make the effort it's like I have to get his attention just right to get it out of him. And now tonight after letting my emotions get the better of me I said something I shouldn't have and I feel like I pissed him off and completely screwed up. I wish i could take it back but the damage is down and now I'm the one upset.
Ldylvlylcks2002 Ldylvlylcks2002
31-35, F
5 Responses Dec 9, 2012

I caught my NAVY girlfriend cheating on me last night, there is too mucn undeniable proof. **** what I said earlier go with your instincts. i will never involve myself with another woman in the military.

Thank you for your response Heavenly. Last night she made up an excuse to avoid me so she could spend time with him. I did some digging and found out that she was getting some calls and making calls to someone in the airforce. I called with a hidden number and confirmed it with his voicemail. Apparently this is the same guy that she has claimed has been texting her out on dates, sending her flowers etc. I didn't say anything, while we were on Skype I noticed that she was wearing a thong and push up bra and had make up on. Second time ever since she has been in A school, the day before she was out at the movies with some people and had a thong on that night also. She has been short and uninterested with me constantly texting while we are on Skype, and all the sudden has a very big sense of urgency to getting her phase 3 pass. She also got a call from this guy before she went to the movies the night before last. While we were on Skype last night She told me that she had left her glasses on the quarter deck and some guy in the airforce named Joshua had them. I thought it was very funny that she was on a first name basis with someone in another branch of service since she is in the NAVY. I had already done my home work and confirmed the first and last name of this guy, and it was Josh. I asked her was that the guy's last name, she changed her story and made up a first name for him. she gave me all the signs of lying and called him about her glasses while I was on Skype with her the phone went to voice mail and I heard him give his rank and last name which was not Joshua, matched with the name of the guy she said was texting her and sexually harassing her. She even said that she had a board of review to attend first thing in the morning in her dress blues because of her alleged claims. She could not explain why the guy she was calling whom had her glasses had the same name as the guy that she was supposidly harassing her. Well, I pulled the phone logs and the number she called and the number of the guy returning her call about the glasses matched and now I know it's the same guy. She has a ton of text messages from him also. She has been spending a lot of time with the Airforce lately, and told me that the guy that was suposidly harassing her was up for an airman of the year award. I Googled his full name rank and found a lot of articles about this guy and the awards and basically a lot of details she shared with me matched. What is sad is this guy is up for an airman of the year award, is married, and has a son. In an interview he credits his success to his marriage. Now I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to be flying out to spend 5 days with her, she is coming home with me for 9 days. All her belongings are at my house, we were living together before she went to boot camp and A school she has a cellphone under my account she is using, we have a joint savings account. I don't know if she comes home with me if she is going to clean me out while I am at work, or what. I don't know if I should get in touch with this guy I have his number, report him, get in touch with his wife which I also have the name of. Should I give her a chance and say hey she was lonely and just got out of 2 months of hell and has been away 4 months and slipped up and forgive her. She's done with A school in one month after she returns from her vacation with me. She'll never run in to this guy again, and he has a wife to go home to, but I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle this when she is deployed. I'm so confused right now. The worst part is she is still denying everything, angry, and won't tell me the truth. She isn't avoiding me, we talked more on skype after she flipped out she asked me to call her back. This morning she called me like normal and when I had to get off of the phone I asked her if she wanted me to call her back, she said it was ok she was in rush to get to class. I thought about what she said last night about her board of review meeting in her dress blues, apparently that was a lie also. God I want to believe her so bad, but there is nothing that holds true to anything she has told me.

Wow that's hard. My man has been gone since like April he ha a bunch of training and all and both of us have been faithful. I think part of it is she's lonely but still there's other ways to deal with your needs and cheating isn't one of them

Not to make you feel bad but first thing my girlfriend does is call me when she wakes up, she call me during lunch, before or after most of her musters, and we usually talk or skype at night. We text through out the day. The most I usually go without hearing from her is 12 hours, which is rare. We send each other care packages and letters also. There's no excuse for him not even send you a text. They do have free time, and if he's not giving any of it to you and only contacting you when it's convienent you have a very one sided relationship in or out of the military that's bad news.

But at the same time girls are more that way in general

I was in the Army and life is different now than it was when I was in. We did not have the internet and cell phones widespread and permeated like it is currently available. If he loves you he will find time for you. He has a cell phone, internet, skype, email, facebook.

What happens is that when you are separated, you lose interest in someone. It is hard to talk about things that happened 6 months ago and then 12 months ago and rehash old times. I think he has begun to lose interest in you. If his interest was mutual you would not have to be seeking him out for a reply. Yes, we work long hours. But , it only takes 3 minutes to see an email and say, thanks, I am tired, I will write more tomorrow. Love me.

I think you might want to move on. Sorry. Good Luck.

First if all not all men are like that, you don't know my marine and when he was in training before he went to Japan he woul call all the time. Part of it is I'm used to hearing from him all the time and for the three out of four months he's been and is in Japan it's been different in still adjusting to it. Second he and I have talked about how we feel towards each other and we truly care about each other. Along with being with him and dealing with his deployment I have a bunch of personal crap I'm dealing with so hearing from him helps I just don't tell him why I'm going through because he doesn't need the added stress.

My girlfriend is in the military and there is a time zone issue, distance is hard and especially for the long amount of time they are away. I know it feels unfair to give and of course naturally want attention back, attention that they can't always give. He should be doing his best to be reassuring, I know my GF makes an effort and communicates with me as often as she can, the idea that he is busy 24/7 is bullshit they do have free time. Unfortunately you will always be #2 to the military they own him. He should be making more time for you, also try to be a bit more understanding. Don't fight ever you're only a hang up away and heaven forbid you'll never know if that call was your last.

I've been trying and been baring with him the thing is he's not in a war zone so he should be able to even if its late at night here. I just feel like he doesn't care enough to try and I've opened up to him about how I feel and all and he knows how I feel it's just been hard and I just want to hear it alittle more often

Distance is so hard, throwing time difference on top of it could be very frustrating. I can only imagine the utter disappointment you are feeling. Especially since all you are looking for is some reassurance or some love.....anything really. Like a "hey, love you babe". You're not asking for too much, but what I would ask you to consider is have you
told him that you are feeling a little insecure and if he could send you a message when he has a spare second it would really help?


I have told him a few times that if he sent me a text just letting me know he's ok and that he loves me would make being away from him easier. He says ok but doesn't do it so it gets frustrating

then I'd take it up a notch. lol

I did it better Monday night he wouldn't stop texting me cuz I promised him something, well he ended up calling me and we had a talk about it and he was like yea I could send you a hi back I'm sorry I didn't know it bothered you. And so far things have turned around in fact Tuesday morning he text me just as I was waking up

that's good I hope he keeps it up

He has we had a good talk on Monday and its been so much better

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