There Are A Lot Of Red Pick Up Trucks In This Town...

My name is jena, and I am 15 (almost 16) years old. My boyfriend is 17 (almost 18) years old. We're both in high school, but we go to different schools. At the end of this year, he will be graduating and joining the Air Force. He will be gone for basic training during the summer. When he returns, I will be a Junior in highschool. I am incredibly scared. First of all, I have an awful home life. Both of my parents are recovering alcoholics, and my little brother is severely autistic. When I met Josh (my boyfriend) he seemed to take all those problems away. As long as I had him, I was alright. None of my problems seemed to matter anymore. School is also very lonely for me. Most of my friends go to the school that Josh goes to. School already sucks, but it really sucks when you feel so lonely all the time. I realize that once Josh is gone, all of this will get a LOT harder. I can't vent to my bestfriend, because she thinks that I'll be fine after he leaves. "You lived without him before, you can do it again." She doesn't understand that he has changed me, and I will NEVER be the same again. I can't talk to my parents either, one because they have their own problems to deal with, and two, they call me immature for worrying about something that isn't happening for a while. People tell me not to worry, and that ill see him again. But I can't stop feeling so scared to do this on my own again. And even when he gets back, we have more waiting to do, because I'll still only be 16 years old. It's not like I can move in with him. I hope our relationship can withstand it. As for right now, I'm crying everyday. I realize that everything in this town reminds me of him. He drives a red pick up truck. How am I going to feel, every time I see one of those damn trucks? I don't want to feel like crying every time I look around me. There is no guarantee that all of this waiting will be worth it. If I end up with him, it's definitely worth it. But what if he doesn't want me when he gets back? I feel so lost, and because of my age, helpless. Please help.
MissBlair15 MissBlair15
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 12, 2012

As an army wife of 11 years, I've seen a lot of girls go through what you've gone through and have been through it myself. Let me tell you, you'll be surprised by how strong you are.

I think a good piece of advice I can give is to not look too far ahead. My husband sometimes literally gets a couple days notice before he has to leave. And for a long time, every big event I'd wonder if end up missing it. And after a while I realized I was missing out on him actually being around! So live in the moment, enjoy today and face it head in when it's here.

You are not immature or silly for worrying and being sad though. Don't let them minimize your feelings. But stay strong for him. I know a girl, well hardly a girl she's 26 now, who met her husband when she was 14, and eloped with him on her 17th birthday so maybe you won't have to wait if home life is really that awful although finishing school is a must.

It will be hard. Nobody said it would be easy. But just know he'll miss you horribly too and keep your chin up

Hey girl :) I can relate to what you're going though. My boyfriend is in the Army and left for basic training a little over a month ago. I'm 19. Going into it, I had a lot of the same thoughts your having. I felt like without him, everything would fall out of place because he's the one who makes all my problems disappear. And honestly, too some extent its true. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with my problems and just wish I could talk to him. And sometimes I feel that I'm too young to be in this type of relationship, because you truly can't guarantee that it will be worth it.
But since you've got a while before he leaves, enjoy this time. Don't cry because he's leaving, smile because he's still there. When he leaves, just take it day by day and know that it gets better. You'll have good days and bad days. On the days when you're really missing him, think about the next time you'll see him and plan fun things to do with him when he comes back. Having school work to keep you busy helps, too :)
Good luck and remember, just enjoy your time with him!