I Want Him Home But He Hasn't Left Yet.

My boyfriend and I first started dating on the 21/2/12 but had broken up a few times with a five month gap of not dating. Many people questioned and objected to our relationship working this final time but to prove all odds wrong, when we started dating again things were different and we have been together for five months now. My boyfriend's dream job has been the military for what he describes a long time but each time that we have been together he has chosen me over the job. It does make me feel special and aprreciated but I had always felt bad for him not persuing his dream.

He graduated and decided to find work but wasnt successful. I would always ask him if he wouldnt to join the army because, everytime he talked about it, he would light up. It makes him so happy.He is big on promises and trust so when he would promise me that he isnt even considering joining the army, i'd believe him.

He left my house wednesday morning leaving me with the assumption the army was out of question after our discussion about the military. He had told me that he wasn't even considering joining. This made me immensely happy because i love him and i don't want anything to happen to him. He had told me to call him that night. When I did he said he had a interview with the defence force. I was mad and I probably could have handled it better. The defence force had called him offering a job after his previous cancellation.

I don't want to be controlling, I just don't want him to die.We have been through a lot and i got the wrath of all his friends for when we had broken up. I had fallen into depression and quit my job because of the pain. I wanted to the relationship to work but certain things were stopping me and I was afraid of the relationship failing again. I really tried not to hurt him but I couldnt escape the inevitable.This time though, it's different. My love feels stronger and I am just so greatful we are back together. I feel as if not only he has changed but I have changed for the better.

He is expected to leave for training around May/June. I don't want him to go but I want him to persue his dream. He tells me that he is doing this for us so he can take care of me. I appreciate this but I feel so devastated knowing that he will be in potential danger and that there is nothing I can do for him other than staying strong.

I want him home but he hasn't left yet.

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1 Response Jan 12, 2013


Everybody has an identity, a characteristic that makes them special. That essence is what you liked about him, you cant make him change. People look for partners to join them on their journey, not to make them deviate from it. Making him promise you he was not going to join was not a good idea. What if he doesn't join, he stays with you but then he cant stop thinking about "what if I had join"...I don't think you could live with that, resentment is a huge feeling that could lead to others that are worse. So he did it for him, he needs to be happy so he can make you happy and he wants you with him during the journey. You just need to think if you are up to it :)

Good luck