Being Ignored.. :-(((

I am feeling a bit conflicted and confused.
My man isn't talking to me and I have no idea why, he just reads my messages and doesn't reply. I am going out of my mind here, just don't know what to make out of this.
Is this normal and I'm just over reacting or should I be concerned?
(pretty close to tears)
punanies punanies
26-30, F
4 Responses Jan 15, 2013

wow thanks ladies, I guess I still need to learn a lot but with you all it might just be easier.

its normal. my boyfriend does that sometimes. right now hes deployed and sometimes only has enough time to read and not answer than one day you see he messages you just a simple i love you. and than everything is ok. but with the guys there could be a lot going on. if he is not deployed he could be having a really bad day and just wants to be left alone or if he only has a second to see his phone but my suggestion is if he is not responding just send a message once a day. say i love you and hope everything is ok and that im here when you can talk. and always say can because he might want to but cant. but be patient we military girls have to learn that and just keep our phones by us all the time really.

I guess I don't know much hey and patience has never been my strongest point.
I guess i'll do the 1 message a day then.

If you know he is reading you then you are texting him to his cell, therefore I will assume he is not deployed?

I was on a previous relationship where that happened to me, he did not replay or replied whenever he wanted, long story short: he broke up with me. In my actual relationship (he is not deployed) he sometimes read me but doesn’t answer right away, but gets back to me as soon as he is free (he could be on a training, meeting, or just working).

So yes, as the girls said I would stop texting but when he gets back to you and you consider the time is appropriate ask him what is going on. Maybe you are overtexting…

he is deployed in Sudan, he just has amother number from there.
I feel that he is slipping away and might just breakup with me *sobs*. At this point I have stopped texting.

Oh no, if he is deployed then things change drastically. I know it sucks, but its the best way. Just let him know you are there for him, one email telling him how things are going with you or a little text.

I'll do that, 1 message a day.
But how do I handle him not replying?

Stop thinking that he is not replaying for a bad thing. I just posted something related to this, my Marine was not answering me and while I was all grumpy thinking all the bad things in the world, it didn't have to do anything with me, he just needed time.

Deployments are awful, I really don't know how they do it. My Marine gave me a "tour" around his base while he was deployed and I'm telling you, that is way below camping. Don't you have those days when you feel super awful and don't want to talk to anybody?

When we say "I will be there for you" this is what is written in the small letters at the bottom. Just think positive and do stuff to keep you busy DO STUFF...important :)

Find groups for girlfriend and wives of deployed soldiers. That helps so much. Find other women who are going through the same thing and chat with them. It helps so much to have a support group. And it will keep you busy talking to the ladies instead of blowing him up with messages. ;)

Deployments are so very hard. My ex was in Afghanistan for 11 months. It took several months of pain and struggle to figure out what I was in for. There truly is a lack of communication with deployment. Its not always his fault either. I remember anytime someone died over there, be it battle, or stepping on a landmine, communication was completely cut off 2-5 days. No phone, no internet, nothing. Complete blackout. Really sucked when it would happen back to back, longest was 5 weeks of blackout. I couldn't sleep I was going nuts.

oh my.. now I feel like a moron.
@HoneyBee, must have missed the fine print, will just DO STUFF..lol..
@Steamed27, 5 weeks??? that would be me completely losing it

yes, while on deployment they could go on missions and that means no communication at all

5 More Responses

first things first, relax. How long has this been going on? Do not I repeat do not, blow up his phone or messenger or whatever with posts. That will scare the crap out of him. Trust me I've done that it does nothing good for you.the best thing that you can do right now, is just stop. I know it's hard and I know your mind is racing and you want to keep hitting send. just walk away and let him come to you. That is the best advice I have for you.

if your boyfriend is in the military, trust me there is a lot that's going on that you have no idea about. for now don't take it personally. Be that totally awesome girlfriend that he can brag about and that all the buddies are jealous for. Because you don't go crazy and nuts blowing up his phone.:)

I know from experience, and I WAS in tears, no clue what was going on. it ended up being nothing it was out of his control that he couldn't contact me, and I ended up being the melodramatic fool. That incident ended up setting the tone for the end of our relationship.

I was in tears yesterday. I can't stand it when he doesn't say anything, if he was here then i'd try work around it but since he is far I feel soooooo powerless. 3 months now and still another 5 months to go.. things can't be like this or i'm simply gonna lose it!
Nazmel, these moods i'm still trying to get used to but being impulsive can't be that natural.. lol...