He's been so stressed out lately. beyond his limits. meaning whenever he talks to me he's mean and annoyed. I'm trying really hard to get used to this new person he's becoming. I know how hard he's working and how stressed out he is. but we've been doing nothing but bickering because he's just so mean.
last night he even said he called me because i wanted to talk, not because he did. that really hurt my feelings. after a long day he's the only one i want to talk to, but i guess it doesnt go both ways.
when he got his orders last week he didnt even tell me right away. im used to getting a phone call of him being so excited and telling me what his next step is during his lunch break or something when he finds out. but this time he waited until he was saying goodnight then was like "oh yeah by the way i got my orders today". and i had to wait until the next day to talk about them because he didnt want to pull his papers out.
I am trying so hard to be there for him. I try and send him encouraging text messages and tell him i hope he's doing well and that he's having a good day. I even made up a huge package and sent it to him because i knew he needed something more to cheer him up.
last night was just so discouraging. i hate arguing, but especially with him. when he's all quiet and not even responding to me on the phone, it makes me feel unimportant. i call him to have a conversation, not to talk to myself. as i keep saying, i know how hard he is working and i understand that he is busy. i am nothing but understanding with him. but it's hard. when all we have is the way we speak to each other and our communication, that isn't how we should act with each other.
i just dont know what to do. i'm trying to let it go and just say "it's not me, he's tired". but that is so hard when he has changed so much. i used to get cute texts throughout the day and when he went out on weekends and wished i was there... random phone calls during the day just to say he missed me... selfies of himself just making a face at me to brighten my day. i dont know just so many little things. and i still do those for him, but nothing in return.
im trying really hard to stay strong for him, and to not complain. but he's just not himself lately, and i miss my boyfriend. i try my hardest to show him how much i appreciate him all the time, every day. and i just want the same thing back.
im sorry if it sounds like i'm complaining. i just dont know what to do. i hate arguing with him. im trying so hard here to be there for him, but when he's quiet and shuts me out, there's not much i can do anymore.
clacey clacey
22-25, F
5 Responses Nov 26, 2013

I'm literally feeling this right now. It's awful (just wrote a story on it).
Only problem is when we don't talk, i go nuts. I don't do silent treatments, i think they're childish. I don't do breaks. I don't ignore people. I hate it so incredibly much. We don't fight but he feels so distant it breaks my heart. i get it. he's SUPER busy with the last part of his training in his last class. Just know you arent the only one. It's tearing me apart. Last Tuesday he told me I'm one of the biggest parts of his life right now and every bad day that goes by, I wonder if that "part" is big enough to even matter anymore after 2 years of dating

I think this is just something they all go through. They get caught up in work and becoming they best they forget about the people back home. Just like the other person said, back off a little & give him space but don't take it personally. I'm sure he doesn't mean to hurt you, it's how he is because of everything.
My sailor missed me a lot & became really attached to our relationship when he left in July, instead of running off that. He pushed me away & stopped talking to me. Eventually he came back but like I said, don't take it to heart. I'm sure he loves you, the military just does weird things to the ones we love.

hell girl I only talk to mine about once a week. You know my suggestion is that you should back off and give him some breathing room and let him be. Dont text him, dont call him nada! Let him miss you for once, remember familiarity breeds contempt. A guy will only realize how good he's got it going when he no longer has it... men can be very dense sometimes so we need to do this from time to time just to remind them.

so true, thank you. i woke up this morning with that kindof attitude... kindof like "why should i bother responding to him or anything when he takes me for granted". you're right. sucks but guys are guys. i want him to miss me and need me.

I kinda relate to your story dear,just that my bf is not an army. And he's not being pressured by his work. It's just how he is. very annoying :( Like you what you mentioned,after a long hard day,all I wanted was to hear his voice being happy listening to mine but it is just disappointing. :(

It's kinda the same here. My bf is so busy that he almost has no time to talk to me. He's working on his sergeant so hard that he forgets about me (it kinda feels like :D). And when he has time I'm the only one whos talking. He's my best friend and I trust in us but sometimes I feel like we're drifting away. I know everything is right but there are some lil doubts in my head. Don't take it personal he's stressed. Maybe you should tell him or you should give him some time. He loves he's just stressed. If you want to talk just message me! (: I would really appreciate it!

im glad someone else can relate! if you need anything message me anytime too (: