5 Months....

growing up i have always heard stories, from my dad who was in the navy during the gulf war, about what war was like. i witnessed the the way it affected him and was frightened by his nightmares...

and i always thought.. thank god everyone is home safe now..

im starting to think i spoke too soon...

I was 17 when i brother Left and wow that was so hard to deal with.

he joined the navy when he was 19 and i felt soo alone. he was my best friend and i took his absence soo hard.

I miss him all the time but i am soo proud of him. I think the military made him grow up into a  real man.

While he was away I met someone amazing. He filled the void of companionship in my life and I fell soooo in love with him. I never thought he would leave...

we have been together for a year and a half now and guess what... he is just a few months away form starting boot camp in the hopes of becoming an army ranger... yikes!!  not again!

He told me about a month ago and i was HORRIFIED! he is my home, my comfort zone. HOW THE HELL COULD HE LEAVE!!!

At first the idea was just soo hard to deal with. I knew i wanted to stick it out with him automatically. that was never an issue. and of course i wanted to support him.. I never want to hold him back from anything. that's not my place. but over the past couple  weeks I started getting really worried about it.

I guess i never really realized how much of a commitment it is for the person who is in love with the soldier.. with my brother.. it was different. although i love him i new hed be safe. i mean the navy isnt really going through too much with this war.. but with my boyfriend.. he is looking to go in!!!!

I couldn't sleep, started eating way too much, and would cry at the drop of a hat.. gross right????  I know i felt soo pathetic.

so i finally had to decide to make a change.. i realized that me freaking out was only making things worse for both me and my  boyfriend.

he has about 5 months left here. why ruin it by crying every time we talk. i decided i need to enjoy the moment with him and trust in him. hes doing this because he believes its for the best... and now that i really think about it soo do i!

we'll have a great time together while he is here.. and i will miss him terribly when he is gone but at least i know he'll be happy. He'll have no regrets and when he comes back ill be right here waiting for him..

we are gonna enjoy the time before he leaves..  work out any problems or concerns we may have before he leaves.. and just try to stick it through..

who knows what will happen.. i mean people have military families all the time!!

What I'm trying to say is that what i have learned so far is you cant freak out. you gotta take it one day at a time and cherish what you have.

to anyone else who is new at this too.. I totally know how you feel. it hurts and its scary but you gotta stick it out and keep your head..

i mean noooo guy is gonna want to come home to a big crying mess!! lol I'm planning to use the time that he is gone to do things that i didn't have time for before. like finish school, volunteer, you know stuff like that..

I'm soo excited for him now and i cant Wait till he gets started and i can have the security that he is fallowing his dream. through all this i realize my dream has always really been just to be happy with the man i love.. i think thats why im soo scared.  I WANT sooo badly to make this work!

if anyone out there has some advice, id love to here it!!!

i know there is more too it than what i am expecting and i was wondering if anyone can help me out.. i really don't want to feel like I'm doing this alone.

ummm.. yeah.. lol thank you for reading!!!

newnewnew newnewnew
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 11, 2009

You have a fantastic mindset going in! The two most important things are to remain both flexible and optimistic. When you feel as though you're losing either of those things bring it here to this forum...the women here are absolutely amazing at helping each other through the trials we all face! Treasure your time with him now! We're always here for you =)

OMG girl! That's a cute story and I truly admire you for your positive outlook on everything. You are so right about everything. It's wonderful that you're going into this situation with a good head on your shoulders. I'm an air force girlfriend. It's so tough at times but I've gained a lot from it. I wouldn't change it for the world. My boyfriend and I have had our share of weak moments while he's been away but the situation forces you to become a strong individual, and ultimately it brings you closer together as a couple. I'm here to answer ANY questions that you can come up with. Best wishes to you and your man! I can tell already that you are strong enough to make it through this. Your positive attitude will carry you so far. Never lose that mindset and nothing will get in your way. Keep that chin up and look forward to how close the two of you will become. You need to remember that if you're strong through this you'll provide him with the strength he needs to do what he needs to do. He's doing this for BOTH of you to ensure that you can have a promising future together. The military truly has a lot to offer. Remember that I'm ALWAYS here. I'll give you advice and be your shoulder to lean on when things get tough. You never have to feel alone through any of this. Cherish the little time you have left with your man and don't take any of the small things for granted. I guarantee you'll miss them later. The closer you become now, the better off you'll be down the road. Good luck hun! : )