So I'm new to this experience project site, and just really needed somewhere to vent without any judgement. I've been in a military relationship for 3 years and together 4 in total. I can't talk to any of my friends because they just don't understand. Anyways, I'll get to my dilemma. My SO wants to marry me. Yay right? BUT I'm still in college and want to finish my degree before we get married. He says that that's fine and I can still live with my parents and go to college, but the reason he wants to get married RIGHT NOW is because he says that it'll help us financially. We can start saving up for a real wedding, the money can help towards my tuition, I would get benefits, and a bunch of other stuff. All that sounds great and all, but I can't help feeling that it's wrong. Call me old fashioned, but shouldn't we get married because we love each other? I know that the money would help us both out a lot, we could probably have the wedding of our dreams, and we can start saving up for the future, but I just don't know if that's a right reason to get married. Sure we wouldn't live with each yet, and no one would really know we're married aside from my family and the military, but I just don't know... Help :'(
JerleenYvette JerleenYvette
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 24, 2014

The money and benefits aren't at all what they're cracked up to be. Sure he'll be getting more money, but that is to accommodate other financial responsibilities. My boyfriend and I are not married but he is now on my health insurance because the military insurance does not cover an abundance of things.

My advise is to get married if you truly want to based off of your love for each other. Finish school!!!!! The best thing you could do for yourself is get your degree and create a career for yourself.

I'm getting married :) yay! But my thing was I wanted to graduate before I even thought about it. I'm really proud of myself for getting through school on my own. And no one will ever take that away from you!! You also prove to yourself that you're okay with being on your own. How long do you have till you finish?

I have two years left.

That's not too long! But do what you want. You'll have a lifetime together

I'm in the same boat girl! It's all about him and what he really gains if we marry. I feel like it's selfish on his half, I'm not ready i would still like to get my degree and myself sorted before having to worry about everything else