My Life as a Military Girlfriend

I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no Military ID card, I am not a dependent or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this.

I am a military girlfriend.
I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.

I am a military girlfriend.
There is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, though I love him no less for it. I hope every day that he will be able call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions, smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on a brief communication where "I love you and I'm okay" speaks more than volumes and gives me the strength to keep going.

I am a military girlfriend.
I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day.

I am a military girlfriend.
The events of the next several months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war I do not see nameless soldiers a half a world away. I see individuals who will be orever changed by war. News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.

I am a military girlfriend; not a spouse or family member. When you say your prayers for the wives, mothers, and fathers, please don't forget about me.

NoPeace NoPeace
18-21, F
92 Responses Nov 2, 2007

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It's 2014 now, can you give us an update?I like your story, and I think your love does get less ress respect, recognition, etc. from others because you are not married yet. People will assume that you are less committed, and somehow less in love that a wife. Chrerish the seconds, and the moments, and the shared experiences together.Now I want to find out what happened to you both. Please write us a story and tell us!

This makes little sense, although it's a fairly decent love poem that might indeed have been written by a young girlfriend But at age 12 ( or less!) you probably were not a military gf. At age 16 or 18 you barely fit the profile. So...either you lied about your age (and you're definietly now 30 and older) or you're...totally bogus.

Why does this have to be bogus? It's a nice sentiment... whether she wrote it or not. Whether she is 12,16 or 36. The sentiment is the same. No one is under any obligation to post their real details on EP.

Sorry, to disagree. This is a forum on which we are supposed to share real experiences. Not play stupid games.

I can see your point. This is a well known reposting that has been floating around the internet. I took it as something she related to that expressed either her experience or that of someone she knows.

Of course, it could be a game to her - for atten tion, perhaps. I didn't take it that way, though. Perhaps it echoes her experience, one she relates to, or is a young girl's way of showing support? As a former soldier, I could relate to and appreciate the sentiment.

I can appreciate the sentiment as well, although I do not think there are that many military men who would spend an inordinate amount of time in extra-marital relationships when there is already a lot to do to maintain a basic marital one with the requirements of any soldier's second family, ie his military unit. The problem here is not the feeling expressed but the fact this is blatantly impossible agewise. People posting or reposting stuff that's obviously not their experience do a major disservice to all those who have real experiences to share.

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Aww Hun my heart goes out to you but your wrong we all don't turn away. And like you I feel sick inside when I hear we have lost another son, daughter, husband, father, wife, mother and know this I know you suffer and if you should have to endure the loss of someone you love in the line of duty there are more people like me out there that know you are with him everyday out there. My prayers will be with you. Keep your chin up your a brave woman.

Wow, I didn't even look at the date and just assumed it was new because it was on my Homepage. Well, I hope everything worked out.

look at the original posters age and then subtract 6 years she would have been 10-12 yrs old when this was posted

I never stopped to think that the age of members, updates automatically. Clever. Who knew?

As an Infantry Soldier myself, I really admire you for your dedication. I feel like I was pressured into marrying my girlfriend just before I went to basic. My girlfriend (now wife) may have stuck it out had we not got married but she seemed on the cusp of having a breakdown. I definitely felt a lot of pressure to prevent her from having to live in the limbo status that you are suffering through right now. Things are still fine with her but I do feel like our relationship was rushed more than it should have been. it caused a lot of friction between us initially. I don't think she was as strong as you are. Anyways, stay strong. He'll be back soon enough.

That was beautiful <3

great poem. interesting this was posted over 6 years ago and the poster is just in the 16-18 yr catagory. how could she have been a military girlfriend at 10-12 yrs old

Maybe she just didn't change her age.

well mine went up automatically on my birthday

I'm new to this so I don't really know.


Or perhaps she just posted this because she likes and agrees with the sentiment? Don't see how it much matters.

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Beautiful! I honor your commitment to him and support.

Honey you are his strength too. That few seconds when he can hear your voice is what he lives for and holds on to. Be strong for him.


That's beautiful! And so very true! Good luck with everything!


I'm a military girlfriend and he is so wonderful...I've finally found my best friend and the love of my life. We were talking last night about the fact that he is expected to be deployed this time next year and my heart broke and my eyes welled up in tears at just the thought of him being away for so long. I wanted to tell him how I was feeling and couldn't find the words...I guess I was sorting out all my feelings in an instant but what you wrote here is what is in my heart and I thank you for your beautiful writing which expresses what so many military girlfriend's must feel and what I couldn't express but what I identify are my feelings too. Thank you.

Allow me say that you are a very good writer. You expressed yourself very well.

I was on the other end, many years ago. I flew in Vietnam, and remember to this day how I missed my wife. Your man will return. When he returns, he will be different. Remember that, honey.

Military and combat changes a person. He will return different in some ways. Allow him to be who he is when he returns. Do not expect him to revert to the boy/man you remember.

Grow with him and the relationship will also grow.

Good luck,


Beautiful... this really describes my relationship with my boyfriend.. I love him to bits, but now he is on tour everything is very hard. reading this has helped as it has put into words how I feel! thank you xx

Reading this made me tear up... I have only been a military girlfriend for this summer but hes made a transition with me. I left for college the same time he left for a 6 month deployment 14 hr time difference. One night before going through processing we talked about what was worrying me and i spilled about how i have no claim or any way to know aything about him. So he put me on a list and i have his sisters phone number in case of anything. It doesnt fix everything but those little things help alot.

That should tell you where you stand with him. I have his parent's number, his sister's number, and am his emergency contact. You're right, the little things mean a lot.

lol he has my heart. Our time together hasnt been that long but ide do anything for him. And hes made it clear its the same on his end. which just makes it hurt even worse

I too am a military girlfriend, even though I am also a military member. I too wait and avoid the news and try not to cringe when I hear things in briefings that you are fortunate to not be privy to. I don't forget about you - I am you, even if I too wear the uniform. Stay strong, sister.

I can't believe people can't get along. Some people who lash out on others either has an insecurity or don't have the feelings we found. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Just because people have feelings and you don't doesn't give you the right to cut someone else out for what they feel.

I enjoyed your writing. I feel the same. I met my husband on line and married him on line through the army and now I'm trying to raise $3500 to get him home. You want to spend every moment with him but first to bring him home first unharmed. It also makes you appreciate what you have and how important your life is because without him you get lost. I want to bring my husband home after 23 years of service to surprise his daughter and mother which will be a great gift to him but then I want to have a real wedding and honeymoon with my husband but I have to wait till I can raise enough money but I am also on disability which doesn't help much. I hope you appreciate and love him as much as I love my husband! Good luck in all you do.

Beautiful, my journey as a military girlfriend is just beginning but I already feel a huge amount of admiration, loyalty and respect to all you ladies and men who keep so strong. May we unite together x


@OP: Don't pay attention to the ignorant trolls on here using your struggles as a platform for their rhetoric or the thoughtless clods putting ugly thoughts in your head and kicking your while you're down. They don't even have the sense to be ashamed of themselves for being so gauche :/
I was in your place all of last year when my man was deployed. The only reason he didn't marry me before he left was that he didn't want me to have a cheapo wedding. I didn't care, but he insisted.
I know the place you're in, the loss of sense of safety and sense of self - and the stupid crap people say to us during deployment.
But think good thoughts, be around positive people and know that he misses you as much as you miss him. Also don't take it personally for lapses in communication - they often have 16 hr details!
Send him goodies -baby wipes, Propel vitamin powder & Kava Kava for their muscles is the best! And - fast food condiment packets! There was almost a riot in my fiance's unit over the Sriracha packets.
But he'll be home before you know it and be proud to have a man who's serving his and other countries. He'll be in your arms in no time <3

This is beautiful. Stay strong. It will be hard. Ive been the girlfriend and the sailor to leave home. Accept the support of your family and friends, and IGNORE the ones that do not support the Forces and their families.You will come across some harsh words,but know that the support and backing you will always have is much more.

beautiful story. I think more people need to understand and feel connections to their loved ones as you do. Then maybe, just maybe, people would appreciate what they have. Congrats on finding your love and I wish him a safe return to you. :)

stay strong never give up ur love ,be happy

This is beautiful. Stay strong. Love endures all.

stay strong and your endurance and faith will be rewarded. At times when your heart aches and becomes too difficult to breathe, remember that you are not alone.I wish you all the strength and hope you need to make it.

Wow!! I just got in tears reading this. I understand exactly what you're going through. Sometimes, I feel that us military girlfriends don't get any respect. But we are holding off our life for the ones that we love too. And you are so right! That 30 second phone call can really make your day. I received a letter from my guy on my birthday when he was in basic training. The best birthday present ever!! Thanks for the post!

This is beautiful...

I`ve just read `Military Girlfriend`; its lovely m`dear, and I hope he did come home safely to you...and always will do.
In the military there is a description of the females that accompany their men; the description refers to Officers and their Ladies, NCO`s and their Wives....Soldiers and their` Women` is archaic, insulting but still used today, so you are correct when you assess your status in any other than your heroes eyes. Oh, and as a retired Officer, I think girls like you are wonderful people.

This is quite true. On the other hand, you may be one of several military girlfriends of the same guy without knowing it; I know, that's what my uncle did. There is really no way the system can recognize you unless you're in some form of obvious common-law relationship with a few years behind you, or unless you made sure you were a little special, if only as far as administrative paperwork goes, by getting him to marry you.

Thank you. I've been feeling this. Ugh, makes my heart heavy.

That's a really beautiful poem. I can feel how much you love him and he's so lucky to have you..

There are thousands of military spouses that are in your same boat because their partner is same sex. Regardless of your oppinions on lifestyle find support in those who share your battles. Stay strong for you loved one, may he come home safely.

hey! thats a good story there. i am a army girlfriend. we are engaged but not married yet. my partner is based in germany and i am in the uk so our time together is special. like the rest have said i know how yu feel 😊x

Absolutely beautiful:)

Amazing poem. I'm here for u grl. I kno full well exactly wut ur feeling. Stay strong. I'm happy mine's here at home. He was on tour 5 years n has been in the reseve ever since. He's a sergeant n constantly busy training, drilling. It drives me cray, but I kno this is his lifestyle n have accepted it, like we all do. Keep ur head up.

I love this, it is beautiful and poetic. I am right there with you, we are military girlfriends.

I know how you feel. I am also a military girlfriend. If you want to talk about the stresses hit me up.

she's the girl from " dear john!" aha!! Knew it.

Awesome :)

I think you should is a soldier for you girlfriend are proud. Allow me to invite you to a nice community:_ Uniformedmate. Com _ (civilian looking to meet someone in the military).It is the worlds largest military and armed forces community and this site online with over 4 million members.Over the years, we have achieved tremendous success in bringing military singles and admirers together.

i\'m interested in that site.. =)

this is so true...

Story of my life:) Explains military girlfriends perfectly! :)

It sound's VERY close to the video that actually made me deside to start looking for a community of Girlfriends.
It's gorgeous. You guys should all go look at it?


I love this <3

Same situation I'm in, good luck girl I am here for you!

So beautiful


awwwww :( this made me cry
i miss my boyfriend so much that i just wish i could give him a call :/

I cride when i read this........................................

reading this poem my heart sped up racing hitting me flat in the face how much i love my boyfriend i really wish he was home with me here today

this is exactly how i felt! Stay strong though!! youre in my prayers!

I cried when I read this...My boyfriend hasn't left yet, and all of you are so inspiring to me, you all give me so much hope.

I cried when I read this...My boyfriend hasn't left yet, and all of you are so inspiring to me, you all give me so much hope.

This poem means so much. I've witnessed my cousins wife go through every emotion and every word this poem describes. I never thought I'd be one to experience this but my boyfriend is leaving for basic on July 2nd, he will be gone until Christmas. And even though we are young, it hurts more and more to know that each day gets closer to that date. I wish all of you luck and pray your men come home safely to such wonderful people.

My boyfriend is in Afghanistan, he hasn't been able to call me or email me in 3 days. I'm new to this so I'm not sure if that is normal for a civilian that is under contract. We have emailed for 3 weeks now and I haven't heard his voice for that long. I am a mess, I feel so weak and vulnerable, I do not understand how other people do it, I feel like he has forgotten about me, or that he doesn't love me anymore. Can someone help me understand?

This is beautiful, my boyfriend is deploying soon for Cop Zerok, Afghanistan, I will miss him so much, right now he's stationed 6 hours away and I dont get to see him nearly as much as i'd like to. he leaves in the morning for NTC in california, so no contact for up to 30 days. this poem describes everything that it is to be a military girlfriend, thank you for sharing it :)

This also makes me cry every time I read this... My boyfriend is still in A school and will graduate in feb... But he has been told they have a good chance to deploy right away when he gets stationed... I dread for this day to come but I know that it will ... Stay strong.

This has been my favorite poem since my airman was deployed. Every bit of it rings true deep down.

This post is truly amazing and means a lot to me. My bf is in basic trainging right now at Fort Benning Geogia and I miss him like crazy everyday. I know itl be hard but at the same time this will make us stronger than ever before. There have been times where I cry myself to sleep, but then I wake up the next moring grateful for my soldier and proud to be all his. I will keep you all in prayers. :)

My boyfriend is in Afghan...& Im only 17 . The things I do for him.<3

I seriously love this i started crying when i read this cause its true (: thankyou so much

wow this is amazing, im speechless </3

This poem is perfect, its exactly how it really is. I am new to this website and I would really like to have people to relate too. My boyfriends deploying to Iraq in august and im really nervous on how to deal with the whole thing..

This is the first time I read this and it honestly made me cry my eyes out. That is a perfect desc<x>ription of what it feels like to be in this situation. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one that feels this way. <br />
<br />
My boyfriend and I have been in love for 6 years, but we have had kind of a disjointed relationship because of the circumstances we've been dealing with. He joined almost 3 years ago. As soon as he finished basic he was sent to Korea for 2 years. Last month he came home and I saw his for the first time since he joined. It was amazing, I can't even explain. Now he is gone again, to Alabama this time for flight school. And it sucks. The one think I can say though, he isn't in Iraq and wont be for the next two years. <br />
<br />
Thank you so much for posting this, I will never forget these words.

I haven't seen my boyfriend in over a year...I swear it gets harder and harder to remember him as the days go by. The short talks on skype don't do any justice...but it's all I have. I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world. I just wish I could see him and hold him close. He's the man of my dreams and I couldn't ask for more. This poem explains the feelings I have for him as well as many girls have for their Soldiers. It's perfect.

This poem made me cry and he hasn't even left yet!! I am a new military girlfriend but I can imagine what I will go through once he is off in another counrty somewheres. Too far for my arms to grab and hold him, too far to call his name to get a responce, too far for my seeing him. I fully support his decision, and Im proud of him for making something of himself if not for me, then for himself. I'm not however a big fan of missing him at the level all you girls are talking about. But we have to be strong right? I will do this for him. I love my soldier!!

~what a good post!!<br />
now i can say that i am a full pledge certified military girlfriend!!!!<br />
~i love you samoza!!!!!!

Hi. I just totally balled my eyes out reading this. My boyfriend is still in training, but everything in this poem rings true. Thank you for sharing

I now have no more makeup on my face....Thanks for sharing I loved it!!

You know....after reading this, it brought tears to my eyes...i am a military boyfriend leaving for basic and AIT in may, so i had to do some reading....i, as well as all other military boyfriends out there, really appreciate this with everything that we girlfriend has vowed to wait for me as well, and i love her so much, and am so grateful to her that she wants to wait for me....i keep telling her to be strong, i am not gone forever, i am coming back...and it brings joy to my heart that all these other ladies, including my girlfriend, are such wonderful people...i pray for all of the guys and girls that choose to undergo this path, it really is a true blessing us guys have such wonderful girlfriends :)

If more military spouses would live by the actions spoke of in this poem, I have been over there 3 times once to Iraq and twice now to afghan and i can tell you how many times i have had to help my fellow soldiers out with marital problems at home while we have been over there, everything from cheating to packing up taking everything cleaning out the bank accounts and disappearing. It's very depressing hearing about it and I too have felt there pain as I'm now divorced myself thou it was not as bad as some off the stories i have heard or had to deal with in the 10 years I've been in now but I truly wish you all the best and thank you for posting this and all you TRULY live by this I know your SOLDIERS, SAILERS, MARINES AND AIRMAN are truly great full for it and may not express it as much as it should be but just know I AM great full for what you do for my fellow brothers in arms no matter what branch they serve

My fiance is in mission, tx right now till june. he is on the border mission. he is still close but so far away. you said everything i have told him in txt messages. i feel i maybe smuthering him at times. i have never loved another man this much. he is my whole world, other then god and my kids. he is my one i dream about.

Ladies,for those of you who live near the ba<x>se where your B/f is stationed...get in touch with his units FRG...they are usually very welcoming to girlfriends. It will help to be around other ladies who are going throu the same thing you are. I am currently dealing with my B/F being deployed as well,and although it doesn't get does help to be around or to talk to others who are going through it too. Don't be so quick to count yourselves as insignificant in the militaries eyes...they want their soldiers as happy and as stress free as possible. If you are the person that makes that happen for him,you will be respected for that.

so true... even though i am new at this my boyfriend is in bootcamp... yall can read my story its on my page...

we are the family members<br />
we count<br />
people build their own families and friends and partners and girlfriends and boyfriends are all part of that<br />
you are not being excluded- they are praying for you too

This sumed up how I feel to a T. Everyone always sympathizes with the wives and family members...but what about us? Don't we deserve a prayer or a sympathy hug?? We don't have a ring and a vow to keep us together...but we keep to our word that we're going to be here when he comes home anyway. We are the strongest women!

you did such a good job of saying everything I feel. My boyfriend is over in Afghanistan right now, so I could relate to it all. There isn't a ring, but i hold on to the promises just like you said. Keep your head up and thanks for the strength. I really enjoyed this.

This is so true.... so many people don't understand what it's like to be in love with someone in the military... So many people this it's insane to sit home and wait, they think your being ridiculous when you don't want to go out, go hang out at the old places... but they just don't understand... How can you go somehwere where every second you spend their reminds you of him? Reminds you that he's not home yet... But the thing is no matter how much you miss him... no matter how many tears are shed... everytime the mailman come and he has a letter with your name on it... or everytime the phone rings and it's his voice on the line... or that final moment when your standing in the plane terminal and you see that camo after months... somehow they all make being an Army girlfriend left behind and waiting compeltely worth it

This is absolutely wonderful :-)<br />
<br />
This part made me cry, how profound and true it is:<br />
"I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget."

Its so true! Thank you

thankss for sharing itt made me cry

wow!!! My bf is stationed over seas right now its so hard to live my everyday life without him. When he gets home we r gettin our own place and finally startin our lifes togetherfully. But he is the one when all goes wrong tht holds me and tells me everythin is goin to be ok. Today i needed tht so bad and ended up cryin and couldnt stop. I miss my soldier this poem is perfect

This is so true. My bf is in iraq right now and i'm just waiting for him to come home, it has been a long hard time, we got our first place and he hasn't even seen it yet except in pictures. He only has one more month left out there but instead of it getting easier at times it gets harder cause i know he is so close to coming home, but yet still so far away. I have cried many nights just wishing he was home but i know i have to be strong. I know i'm not the only gf going through this and i know its hard, but we'll all make it through their deployment we just have to be strong.

That is an incredible post. Thank you so much for sharing. I feel the same way. Ill pray for all of you gals :)

I feel in the same way. I am going trough our second deployment as a girlfiend, no ring on my finger and nothing sure for my future but I am still here for him. I have no contacts with people on post. All I have it's his phone calls and his messages. It's harder than last time but I believe I am doing the right thing waiting for him. I keep all of you in my prayers

Wow, I am speechless, some how you have captured the words, I couln't express, for the ache I have of missing my Marine... I definitely know, that I would never give up on him for anything in the world. Thanks

wow. this is so true. thanks

My boyfriend is at home Thank God, but when he was in basic training every single word in this is exactly how it feels to not have him there. It seems like everything you do is to not make yourself go insane with sadness and loneliness. I wish you guys who do have deployed BFs the best of luck.