Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

My Life as a Military Girlfriend

I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no Military ID card, I am not a dependent or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this.

I am a military girlfriend.
I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.

I am a military girlfriend.
There is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, though I love him no less for it. I hope every day that he will be able call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions, smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on a brief communication where "I love you and I'm okay" speaks more than volumes and gives me the strength to keep going.

I am a military girlfriend.
I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day.

I am a military girlfriend.
The events of the next several months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war I do not see nameless soldiers a half a world away. I see individuals who will be orever changed by war. News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.

I am a military girlfriend; not a spouse or family member. When you say your prayers for the wives, mothers, and fathers, please don't forget about me.

NoPeace NoPeace 16-18, F 93 Responses Nov 2, 2007

Your Response

Cancel

Add a response...

It's 2014 now, can you give us an update?

I like your story, and I think your love does get less reds respect, recognition, etc. from others because you are not married yet. People will assume that you are less committed, and somehow less in love that a wife. Chrerish the seconds, and the moments, and the shared experiences together.
Now I want to find out what happened to you both. Please write us a story and tell us!

This makes little sense, although it's a fairly decent love poem that might indeed have been written by a young girlfriend But at age 12 ( or less!) you probably were not a military gf. At age 16 or 18 you barely fit the profile. So...either you lied about your age (and you're definietly now 30 and older) or you're...totally bogus.

Why does this have to be bogus? It's a nice sentiment... whether she wrote it or not. Whether she is 12,16 or 36. The sentiment is the same. No one is under any obligation to post their real details on EP.

Sorry, to disagree. This is a forum on which we are supposed to share real experiences. Not play stupid games.

I can see your point. This is a well known reposting that has been floating around the internet. I took it as something she related to that expressed either her experience or that of someone she knows.

Of course, it could be a game to her - for atten tion, perhaps. I didn't take it that way, though. Perhaps it echoes her experience, one she relates to, or is a young girl's way of showing support? As a former soldier, I could relate to and appreciate the sentiment.

I can appreciate the sentiment as well, although I do not think there are that many military men who would spend an inordinate amount of time in extra-marital relationships when there is already a lot to do to maintain a basic marital one with the requirements of any soldier's second family, ie his military unit. The problem here is not the feeling expressed but the fact this is blatantly impossible agewise. People posting or reposting stuff that's obviously not their experience do a major disservice to all those who have real experiences to share.

1 More Response

Aww Hun my heart goes out to you but your wrong we all don't turn away. And like you I feel sick inside when I hear we have lost another son, daughter, husband, father, wife, mother and know this I know you suffer and if you should have to endure the loss of someone you love in the line of duty there are more people like me out there that know you are with him everyday out there. My prayers will be with you. Keep your chin up your a brave woman.

Wow, I didn't even look at the date and just assumed it was new because it was on my Homepage. Well, I hope everything worked out.

look at the original posters age and then subtract 6 years she would have been 10-12 yrs old when this was posted

I never stopped to think that the age of members, updates automatically. Clever. Who knew?

As an Infantry Soldier myself, I really admire you for your dedication. I feel like I was pressured into marrying my girlfriend just before I went to basic. My girlfriend (now wife) may have stuck it out had we not got married but she seemed on the cusp of having a breakdown. I definitely felt a lot of pressure to prevent her from having to live in the limbo status that you are suffering through right now. Things are still fine with her but I do feel like our relationship was rushed more than it should have been. it caused a lot of friction between us initially. I don't think she was as strong as you are. Anyways, stay strong. He'll be back soon enough.

That was beautiful <3

great poem. interesting this was posted over 6 years ago and the poster is just in the 16-18 yr catagory. how could she have been a military girlfriend at 10-12 yrs old

Maybe she just didn't change her age.

well mine went up automatically on my birthday

I'm new to this so I don't really know.

yup

Or perhaps she just posted this because she likes and agrees with the sentiment? Don't see how it much matters.

2 More Responses

Beautiful! I honor your commitment to him and support.

Honey you are his strength too. That few seconds when he can hear your voice is what he lives for and holds on to. Be strong for him.

Helen

That's beautiful! And so very true! Good luck with everything!

tl;dr

I'm a military girlfriend and he is so wonderful...I've finally found my best friend and the love of my life. We were talking last night about the fact that he is expected to be deployed this time next year and my heart broke and my eyes welled up in tears at just the thought of him being away for so long. I wanted to tell him how I was feeling and couldn't find the words...I guess I was sorting out all my feelings in an instant but what you wrote here is what is in my heart and I thank you for your beautiful writing which expresses what so many military girlfriend's must feel and what I couldn't express but what I identify are my feelings too. Thank you.

Allow me say that you are a very good writer. You expressed yourself very well.

I was on the other end, many years ago. I flew in Vietnam, and remember to this day how I missed my wife. Your man will return. When he returns, he will be different. Remember that, honey.

Military and combat changes a person. He will return different in some ways. Allow him to be who he is when he returns. Do not expect him to revert to the boy/man you remember.

Grow with him and the relationship will also grow.

Good luck,

John

Beautiful... this really describes my relationship with my boyfriend.. I love him to bits, but now he is on tour everything is very hard. reading this has helped as it has put into words how I feel! thank you xx

Reading this made me tear up... I have only been a military girlfriend for this summer but hes made a transition with me. I left for college the same time he left for a 6 month deployment 14 hr time difference. One night before going through processing we talked about what was worrying me and i spilled about how i have no claim or any way to know aything about him. So he put me on a list and i have his sisters phone number in case of anything. It doesnt fix everything but those little things help alot.

That should tell you where you stand with him. I have his parent's number, his sister's number, and am his emergency contact. You're right, the little things mean a lot.

lol he has my heart. Our time together hasnt been that long but ide do anything for him. And hes made it clear its the same on his end. which just makes it hurt even worse

I too am a military girlfriend, even though I am also a military member. I too wait and avoid the news and try not to cringe when I hear things in briefings that you are fortunate to not be privy to. I don't forget about you - I am you, even if I too wear the uniform. Stay strong, sister.

I can't believe people can't get along. Some people who lash out on others either has an insecurity or don't have the feelings we found. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Just because people have feelings and you don't doesn't give you the right to cut someone else out for what they feel.

I enjoyed your writing. I feel the same. I met my husband on line and married him on line through the army and now I'm trying to raise $3500 to get him home. You want to spend every moment with him but first to bring him home first unharmed. It also makes you appreciate what you have and how important your life is because without him you get lost. I want to bring my husband home after 23 years of service to surprise his daughter and mother which will be a great gift to him but then I want to have a real wedding and honeymoon with my husband but I have to wait till I can raise enough money but I am also on disability which doesn't help much. I hope you appreciate and love him as much as I love my husband! Good luck in all you do.

Beautiful, my journey as a military girlfriend is just beginning but I already feel a huge amount of admiration, loyalty and respect to all you ladies and men who keep so strong. May we unite together x

LOVEE IT!

@OP: Don't pay attention to the ignorant trolls on here using your struggles as a platform for their rhetoric or the thoughtless clods putting ugly thoughts in your head and kicking your while you're down. They don't even have the sense to be ashamed of themselves for being so gauche :/
I was in your place all of last year when my man was deployed. The only reason he didn't marry me before he left was that he didn't want me to have a cheapo wedding. I didn't care, but he insisted.
I know the place you're in, the loss of sense of safety and sense of self - and the stupid crap people say to us during deployment.
But think good thoughts, be around positive people and know that he misses you as much as you miss him. Also don't take it personally for lapses in communication - they often have 16 hr details!
Send him goodies -baby wipes, Propel vitamin powder & Kava Kava for their muscles is the best! And - fast food condiment packets! There was almost a riot in my fiance's unit over the Sriracha packets.
But he'll be home before you know it and be proud to have a man who's serving his and other countries. He'll be in your arms in no time <3

This is beautiful. Stay strong. It will be hard. Ive been the girlfriend and the sailor to leave home. Accept the support of your family and friends, and IGNORE the ones that do not support the Forces and their families.You will come across some harsh words,but know that the support and backing you will always have is much more.

beautiful story. I think more people need to understand and feel connections to their loved ones as you do. Then maybe, just maybe, people would appreciate what they have. Congrats on finding your love and I wish him a safe return to you. :)

stay strong never give up ur love ,be happy

This is beautiful. Stay strong. Love endures all.

stay strong and your endurance and faith will be rewarded. At times when your heart aches and becomes too difficult to breathe, remember that you are not alone.I wish you all the strength and hope you need to make it.

Wow!! I just got in tears reading this. I understand exactly what you're going through. Sometimes, I feel that us military girlfriends don't get any respect. But we are holding off our life for the ones that we love too. And you are so right! That 30 second phone call can really make your day. I received a letter from my guy on my birthday when he was in basic training. The best birthday present ever!! Thanks for the post!

This is beautiful...

I`ve just read `Military Girlfriend`; its lovely m`dear, and I hope he did come home safely to you...and always will do.
In the military there is a description of the females that accompany their men; the description refers to Officers and their Ladies, NCO`s and their Wives....Soldiers and their` Women`...it is archaic, insulting but still used today, so you are correct when you assess your status in any other than your heroes eyes. Oh, and as a retired Officer, I think girls like you are wonderful people.