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My Life as a Military Girlfriend

I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no Military ID card, I am not a dependent or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this.

I am a military girlfriend.
I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.

I am a military girlfriend.
There is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, though I love him no less for it. I hope every day that he will be able call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions, smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on a brief communication where "I love you and I'm okay" speaks more than volumes and gives me the strength to keep going.

I am a military girlfriend.
I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day.

I am a military girlfriend.
The events of the next several months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war I do not see nameless soldiers a half a world away. I see individuals who will be orever changed by war. News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.

I am a military girlfriend; not a spouse or family member. When you say your prayers for the wives, mothers, and fathers, please don't forget about me.

NoPeace NoPeace 16-17, F 93 Responses Nov 2, 2007

Your Response


This is quite true. On the other hand, you may be one of several military girlfriends of the same guy without knowing it; I know, that's what my uncle did. There is really no way the system can recognize you unless you're in some form of obvious common-law relationship with a few years behind you, or unless you made sure you were a little special, if only as far as administrative paperwork goes, by getting him to marry you.

Thank you. I've been feeling this. Ugh, makes my heart heavy.

You mean boy. The boy you love. He's not a man. A man would know the difference between a war and slaughter. Your military is in half a dozen illegal wars for profit and geopolitical leveraging. Men understand conflict, before they take part in it. Your boyfriend is a stupid little boy.

Doesn't the comment section request that people reply with authenticity, support, and respect? I'm pretty sure this isn't the time or place to go bashing people for your political views. Have a little respect for people who make sacrifices. Not everyone that joins the military goes out for "slaughter".

As for the writer, my heart goes out to you. As a navy girlfriend, I understand the meaning of those calls that range usually from 30 seconds to five minutes.

There's nothing political about what I just said, that's simply the truth. If you don't like it I suggest you find out what's going on around you, because you're ignorant. And I'm sure you find that insulting, because nobody's allowed to tell you when you're wrong, you're perfect after all. Am I right, or am I right?

Your country has already been found guilty of 2 genocides by international courts in just the last 15 months. You are not a legitimate state, you're a terrorist state and it's about time we put an end to your crimes. Ofcourse you're not going to agree with the charges, admit to the crime or do the right thing. Because you're complicit. You would rather me lie to you, myself and everyone else for the sake of the lie.

You have made an immense mistake, I'm guessing you never actually understood any of this to begin with, but that's no excuse. It's time for you to make a decision about what side you're really on.

This is the wrong forum for your hate speech. There are countless other places on the internet for you besides a post about a girl who loves her boyfriend. If you have such strong opinions, but take no action against them, then you are just as empty and cowardly as your comments here. I have served in the US Military for nearly 17 years now including three "combat deployments". Despite this, I have never shot, stabbed, killed, wounded, maimed or otherwise harmed another human being. Nor has anyone I know. My career field is fixing radios, encryption devices, night vision and other electronics for the military. What I HAVE done while not killing is hand out food, water and school supplies to families and children that the Taliban stole from in order to supplement their own stocks. I have given out my own personal food and water to women and children when the truck of handouts emptied. I have helped to rebuild a school in Iraq. I have sat alongside a suspected bomber in an Army hospital- who was handcuffed to a stretcher- while my blood went out in an IV, into a little machine, and in turn into him. The fact that he triggered a bomb that took a dear friends leg and killed several innocent civilian locals was irrelevant to me. He needed help, and that's what we do. When healed and recovered he would be able to stand trial, but until that time we were to care for him and ensure his health. That's what separates the US Military from its cowardly foes in the middle east. Humanity in the face of any adversity, no matter what you- who have never seen it firsthand- believe.
Back to my original point. If you want to argue the supposed crimes of the US, fine. If you want to argue the evils committed by 1% of 1% of the military- who are swiftly brought to justice within the UCMJ, fine. But don't do it here. Leave the poor girlfriend alone. She has more than enough to worry about as it is. Be the man you endlessly rabble on about, not the "boy" you claim "the other guy" is.

I'm sure that's what the veterans of the second world war told themselves, that their enemy was just doing their job. Because more than 99 percent of them were, and that's exactly how tyrants gain their power, boys that take part in conflict they don't understand.

You're telling me I don't know he's a boy when I know beyond any doubt what so ever that he is, atleast by your own societies definition. This individual can't so much as have a beer, let alone own a brewery or buy their own home. But we're supposed to let them make life or death decisions on behalf of the country? That's exactly the type of logic I'd expect from a country run by and for little boys. Simple little people that in any other time or place in history, would have learned their place is not policing the world.

1) The girl's age says 16-18, but that's no indication of the age of her boyfriend. He could easily be over 21, depending on her particular states legalities- which would of course give him full legality to drink, vote et al. Personally I'll be 38 next month. Call me a boy all you want; it doesn't bother me. Hell, it's something of a compliment. But the fact remains that boys sit at home and talk about social and political change while men go out and experience things firsthand. They make a decision to attempt to change things themselves, even if in a miniscule way. Which brings me to my other point;

2) Until *you* actually decide to get off your *** and do something to change what you perceive as wrongs and misdoings, you will in fact continue to be the one viewed as a boy, while this girls boyfriend, regardless of age, will be viewed as more of a man. I shouldn't need to iterate how age and maturity are not necessarily exclusive. Again, not a fight I particularly sought out, but just a reminder that this is not the forum for your hate speech.

Ah, all that is lost in assumptions.

You don't know anything about me, do you? I've had friends killed by your government, it's captured my girlfriend in what I think is an attempt to deter me, they tried to kidnap me in February. I'm Canadian, but the people who run your country are criminals, and criminals have no boarders. That's why I'm fighting them, they're not just a threat domestically to their own country, they are to everyone else as well.

Why do you think I'm on here? to communicate with the people. I am at war with your government, for you and myself. Their goal is to completely dominate us as a species, control every aspect of our lives, even our minds. And I really don't care if you take me seriously, but if you know what's good for you, you'll take what I have to say seriously. It's all being done to you right now. They're collecting data to build profiles of every living person. Your military is just one small part of this, they mostly use it to crush nations that don't play ball.

"I am at war with your government, for you and myself."
First of all, you're not at war for me. I fight my own wars; always have, always will.
Second, you're Canadian and you're saying your friends were killed and your girlfriend captured- in Canada? Or in the US? If you're one of the conspiracy theorists who believe the US Government is out to control the minds and actions of everyone on the planet, then respectfully I wish you would just drink the koolaid already.
Third, we can debate the issues all day every day. (when I'm not working of course) But the bottom line is that this particular page was created by a girl expressing love for her boyfriend. You chose to attack her because of your own personal beliefs. That is equatable to the Muslims in Pakistan posting all over the internet that anyone who so much as looks at them funny should (and supposedly will) be executed. Canada is a great nation, it's where my heritage is from. (My grandmother moved to the states from Canada at 18 unable to speak any English at the time) If you want to discuss or debate this, fine. Do it on a page created for it. Make one yourself. If you want to discuss/debate with me, send me a link. Or just email me and I will be happy to continue this. But don't drag down this girls page over this. It's just plain silly.

You fight your own wars, yet you own no property, you have no rights and no representation with plenty of taxes. That sounds like slavery to me, I don't know what your definition is.

I'm not dragging anyone down, I'm lifting them up. Anybody ignorant enough not to see that might as well blast themselves, because there's no hope they'll ever wake the **** up. Telling someone they have cancer isn't lovely, but it is the best chance they have. You're sitting here telling me to pretend this society doesn't have cancer so a few ignorant kids can keep listening to One Direction tapping on their ****** i-diotPhone. I say our freedom and future is worth more than the comforts ill afforded of the unwilling.

I\'m sure your own nation is one hundred percent blameless for the entirety of its history. Grow up.

6 More Responses

That's a really beautiful poem. I can feel how much you love him and he's so lucky to have you..

There are thousands of military spouses that are in your same boat because their partner is same sex. Regardless of your oppinions on lifestyle find support in those who share your battles. Stay strong for you loved one, may he come home safely.

hey! thats a good story there. i am a army girlfriend. we are engaged but not married yet. my partner is based in germany and i am in the uk so our time together is special. like the rest have said i know how yu feel 😊x

Absolutely beautiful:)

Amazing poem. I'm here for u grl. I kno full well exactly wut ur feeling. Stay strong. I'm happy mine's here at home. He was on tour 5 years n has been in the reseve ever since. He's a sergeant n constantly busy training, drilling. It drives me cray, but I kno this is his lifestyle n have accepted it, like we all do. Keep ur head up.

I love this, it is beautiful and poetic. I am right there with you, we are military girlfriends.

I know how you feel. I am also a military girlfriend. If you want to talk about the stresses hit me up.

she's the girl from " dear john!" aha!! Knew it.

Awesome :)

I think you should is a soldier for you girlfriend are proud. Allow me to invite you to a nice community:_ Uniformedmate. Com _ (civilian looking to meet someone in the military).It is the worlds largest military and armed forces community and this site online with over 4 million members.Over the years, we have achieved tremendous success in bringing military singles and admirers together.

i\'m interested in that site.. =)

this is so true...

Story of my life:) Explains military girlfriends perfectly! :)

It sound's VERY close to the video that actually made me deside to start looking for a community of Girlfriends.
It's gorgeous. You guys should all go look at it?


I love this <3

Same situation I'm in, good luck girl I am here for you!

So beautiful


awwwww :( this made me cry
i miss my boyfriend so much that i just wish i could give him a call :/

I cride when i read this........................................

reading this poem my heart sped up racing hitting me flat in the face how much i love my boyfriend i really wish he was home with me here today

this is exactly how i felt! Stay strong though!! youre in my prayers!

I cried when I read this...My boyfriend hasn't left yet, and all of you are so inspiring to me, you all give me so much hope.

I cried when I read this...My boyfriend hasn't left yet, and all of you are so inspiring to me, you all give me so much hope.

This poem means so much. I've witnessed my cousins wife go through every emotion and every word this poem describes. I never thought I'd be one to experience this but my boyfriend is leaving for basic on July 2nd, he will be gone until Christmas. And even though we are young, it hurts more and more to know that each day gets closer to that date. I wish all of you luck and pray your men come home safely to such wonderful people.

My boyfriend is in Afghanistan, he hasn't been able to call me or email me in 3 days. I'm new to this so I'm not sure if that is normal for a civilian that is under contract. We have emailed for 3 weeks now and I haven't heard his voice for that long. I am a mess, I feel so weak and vulnerable, I do not understand how other people do it, I feel like he has forgotten about me, or that he doesn't love me anymore. Can someone help me understand?

This is beautiful, my boyfriend is deploying soon for Cop Zerok, Afghanistan, I will miss him so much, right now he's stationed 6 hours away and I dont get to see him nearly as much as i'd like to. he leaves in the morning for NTC in california, so no contact for up to 30 days. this poem describes everything that it is to be a military girlfriend, thank you for sharing it :)

This also makes me cry every time I read this... My boyfriend is still in A school and will graduate in feb... But he has been told they have a good chance to deploy right away when he gets stationed... I dread for this day to come but I know that it will ... Stay strong.

This has been my favorite poem since my airman was deployed. Every bit of it rings true deep down.

This post is truly amazing and means a lot to me. My bf is in basic trainging right now at Fort Benning Geogia and I miss him like crazy everyday. I know itl be hard but at the same time this will make us stronger than ever before. There have been times where I cry myself to sleep, but then I wake up the next moring grateful for my soldier and proud to be all his. I will keep you all in prayers. :)

My boyfriend is in Afghan...& Im only 17 . The things I do for him.<3

I seriously love this i started crying when i read this cause its true (: thankyou so much

wow this is amazing, im speechless </3

This poem is perfect, its exactly how it really is. I am new to this website and I would really like to have people to relate too. My boyfriends deploying to Iraq in august and im really nervous on how to deal with the whole thing..

This is the first time I read this and it honestly made me cry my eyes out. That is a perfect desc<x>ription of what it feels like to be in this situation. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one that feels this way. <br />
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My boyfriend and I have been in love for 6 years, but we have had kind of a disjointed relationship because of the circumstances we've been dealing with. He joined almost 3 years ago. As soon as he finished basic he was sent to Korea for 2 years. Last month he came home and I saw his for the first time since he joined. It was amazing, I can't even explain. Now he is gone again, to Alabama this time for flight school. And it sucks. The one think I can say though, he isn't in Iraq and wont be for the next two years. <br />
<br />
Thank you so much for posting this, I will never forget these words.

I haven't seen my boyfriend in over a year...I swear it gets harder and harder to remember him as the days go by. The short talks on skype don't do any justice...but it's all I have. I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world. I just wish I could see him and hold him close. He's the man of my dreams and I couldn't ask for more. This poem explains the feelings I have for him as well as many girls have for their Soldiers. It's perfect.

This poem made me cry and he hasn't even left yet!! I am a new military girlfriend but I can imagine what I will go through once he is off in another counrty somewheres. Too far for my arms to grab and hold him, too far to call his name to get a responce, too far for my seeing him. I fully support his decision, and Im proud of him for making something of himself if not for me, then for himself. I'm not however a big fan of missing him at the level all you girls are talking about. But we have to be strong right? I will do this for him. I love my soldier!!

~what a good post!!<br />
now i can say that i am a full pledge certified military girlfriend!!!!<br />
~i love you samoza!!!!!!

Hi. I just totally balled my eyes out reading this. My boyfriend is still in training, but everything in this poem rings true. Thank you for sharing

I now have no more makeup on my face....Thanks for sharing I loved it!!

You know....after reading this, it brought tears to my eyes...i am a military boyfriend leaving for basic and AIT in may, so i had to do some reading....i, as well as all other military boyfriends out there, really appreciate this with everything that we girlfriend has vowed to wait for me as well, and i love her so much, and am so grateful to her that she wants to wait for me....i keep telling her to be strong, i am not gone forever, i am coming back...and it brings joy to my heart that all these other ladies, including my girlfriend, are such wonderful people...i pray for all of the guys and girls that choose to undergo this path, it really is a true blessing us guys have such wonderful girlfriends :)

If more military spouses would live by the actions spoke of in this poem, I have been over there 3 times once to Iraq and twice now to afghan and i can tell you how many times i have had to help my fellow soldiers out with marital problems at home while we have been over there, everything from cheating to packing up taking everything cleaning out the bank accounts and disappearing. It's very depressing hearing about it and I too have felt there pain as I'm now divorced myself thou it was not as bad as some off the stories i have heard or had to deal with in the 10 years I've been in now but I truly wish you all the best and thank you for posting this and all you TRULY live by this I know your SOLDIERS, SAILERS, MARINES AND AIRMAN are truly great full for it and may not express it as much as it should be but just know I AM great full for what you do for my fellow brothers in arms no matter what branch they serve

My fiance is in mission, tx right now till june. he is on the border mission. he is still close but so far away. you said everything i have told him in txt messages. i feel i maybe smuthering him at times. i have never loved another man this much. he is my whole world, other then god and my kids. he is my one i dream about.

Ladies,for those of you who live near the ba<x>se where your B/f is stationed...get in touch with his units FRG...they are usually very welcoming to girlfriends. It will help to be around other ladies who are going throu the same thing you are. I am currently dealing with my B/F being deployed as well,and although it doesn't get does help to be around or to talk to others who are going through it too. Don't be so quick to count yourselves as insignificant in the militaries eyes...they want their soldiers as happy and as stress free as possible. If you are the person that makes that happen for him,you will be respected for that.

so true... even though i am new at this my boyfriend is in bootcamp... yall can read my story its on my page...

we are the family members<br />
we count<br />
people build their own families and friends and partners and girlfriends and boyfriends are all part of that<br />
you are not being excluded- they are praying for you too

This sumed up how I feel to a T. Everyone always sympathizes with the wives and family members...but what about us? Don't we deserve a prayer or a sympathy hug?? We don't have a ring and a vow to keep us together...but we keep to our word that we're going to be here when he comes home anyway. We are the strongest women!

you did such a good job of saying everything I feel. My boyfriend is over in Afghanistan right now, so I could relate to it all. There isn't a ring, but i hold on to the promises just like you said. Keep your head up and thanks for the strength. I really enjoyed this.

This is so true.... so many people don't understand what it's like to be in love with someone in the military... So many people this it's insane to sit home and wait, they think your being ridiculous when you don't want to go out, go hang out at the old places... but they just don't understand... How can you go somehwere where every second you spend their reminds you of him? Reminds you that he's not home yet... But the thing is no matter how much you miss him... no matter how many tears are shed... everytime the mailman come and he has a letter with your name on it... or everytime the phone rings and it's his voice on the line... or that final moment when your standing in the plane terminal and you see that camo after months... somehow they all make being an Army girlfriend left behind and waiting compeltely worth it

This is absolutely wonderful :-)<br />
<br />
This part made me cry, how profound and true it is:<br />
"I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget."

Its so true! Thank you

thankss for sharing itt made me cry

wow!!! My bf is stationed over seas right now its so hard to live my everyday life without him. When he gets home we r gettin our own place and finally startin our lifes togetherfully. But he is the one when all goes wrong tht holds me and tells me everythin is goin to be ok. Today i needed tht so bad and ended up cryin and couldnt stop. I miss my soldier this poem is perfect

This is so true. My bf is in iraq right now and i'm just waiting for him to come home, it has been a long hard time, we got our first place and he hasn't even seen it yet except in pictures. He only has one more month left out there but instead of it getting easier at times it gets harder cause i know he is so close to coming home, but yet still so far away. I have cried many nights just wishing he was home but i know i have to be strong. I know i'm not the only gf going through this and i know its hard, but we'll all make it through their deployment we just have to be strong.

That is an incredible post. Thank you so much for sharing. I feel the same way. Ill pray for all of you gals :)

I feel in the same way. I am going trough our second deployment as a girlfiend, no ring on my finger and nothing sure for my future but I am still here for him. I have no contacts with people on post. All I have it's his phone calls and his messages. It's harder than last time but I believe I am doing the right thing waiting for him. I keep all of you in my prayers

Wow, I am speechless, some how you have captured the words, I couln't express, for the ache I have of missing my Marine... I definitely know, that I would never give up on him for anything in the world. Thanks

wow. this is so true. thanks

My boyfriend is at home Thank God, but when he was in basic training every single word in this is exactly how it feels to not have him there. It seems like everything you do is to not make yourself go insane with sadness and loneliness. I wish you guys who do have deployed BFs the best of luck.

i cry everytime i read this too, my boyfriend is in iraq, and you have no idea how true this poem is, its hard at first and i dont want to say that it gets easier because it doesnt, i guess you just get used to it. hearing his voice over the phone brings me so much joy, and i get so mad at myself when i miss his call, sometimes i get so stressed and i just wish he was here and i cry alot, but everyone says you have to stay strong for them but i think its better for them to know that you care, and its alot easier to cry sometimes not everything can stay bottled up.

My boyfriend is also in Iraq and getting a text from saying "don't worry, baby girl, I'm alright" means more to me than I could ever describe. I stay strong for him but sometimes you gotta cry to relieve the stress of it all. Good luck to you!

I've read this before.. and honestly, i cry every single time i come across it...<br />
<br />
my boyfriend is currently in training.. and thank god, he gets to come home almost every weekend.<br />
in two weeks, he graduates from his second course.. and gets stationed in petawawa 7 hours from home.<br />
<br />
sunday's are the day i dread.. waking up with him beside me on the weekend makes my week.. and when monday morning comes around, and he's not there.. it breaks my heart.<br />
everything i do during the week is just to pass the time.. i keep myself busy in hopes that the week will go by faster.. <br />
<br />
i am so inlove with this man that it scares me..<br />
i'm so afraid to lose him when he is sent to afgan this coming august..