His Putting On A Face :-(

Just been speaking to my Elias and he just got it confirmed his off on sunday and its now so much more real for me, I knew what I thought id expect to feel but this is totally different and it really dont help coz his way of coping is to 'put on a face' act the tough guy he wont go home and visit his family saying he cant wait to go (his eyes tell a different story but he not ready to talk) and he is basically gonna spend the next 2 nights alone with his music and a few beers (ok a lot of beers!) He just told me that in 3 years he has been home to visit once and I just wanna be with him but am in England and cant.  Eli shares little information about his past life and I wont push him or ask to many questions all I do is make sure I am here to listen when he needs it and wants me to its not like im not here for the long haul.  I feel so helpless it doesnt help because his connection keeps failing, he set the bloody plug on fire but even before that the thing kept playing up bigtime and has to basically reset the whole damn thing and install a new programme.  One of the first things Eli shared with me was the fact that he does get low and when that happens and he does go quiet and he shared that his fear is that because of this he is scared he will end up pushing me away, he wont, im here no matter how hard it gets coz no matter how im feeling i cant even imagine what it must be like for him.  sorry i dont really have a question or anything i just needed to talk  posting on here just allows me to get it off my chest

TerrieUK TerrieUK
31-35, F
1 Response Mar 5, 2010

I am pretty familiar when it comes to him putting on a face... Paul does this. It is important that we stay supportive of them, but at the same time it is important that he open up to you. I remember the night before Paul left to go back to Iraq... He was silent. We had dinner with his father and grandparents, then went to say bye to his friends, he was silent. He barely said 2 words to me. When we were alone, he told me that he was sorry if he hadnt said much, he just knew he was heading back to hell and was trying to mentally wrap his head around it. He did hold my hand, and kiss me all night and when it came time for him to go, I could see in his eyes just how much he was hurting even though he was trying to cover it up. The important thing is that Elias knows that you are special. He can open up to you... And more importantly, he needs to open up to you in order for you guys to stay close and bonded while he is gone. I know its hard. and we never want to push. But encourage him to tell you what he is thinking, and let him know when he does that you support him and want to know everything he is willing to share. Good luck!!! And feel free to message me, Im here.