Day 1 Of Deployment To Afghanistan

Well we have been together for 7 months so far and I went through his divorce with him and now this. I am really nervous and I don't know what to expect. He still hasn't said that he loves me and it mkes me nervous. I always told him I would be here for him while he's gone and support him. But I don't want to hang around for nothing. I have so much anxiety and fear about this..does anyone have any advice? Is he just pulling away from me because he is leaving or divorced? This is his second tour, so I thought that he would be more open to me and not worry so much about what happened to him the first time. Am I just asking too much?

 

Confused,

Meghan

Runin4rmfate Runin4rmfate
26-30, F
24 Responses Mar 11, 2010

maybe thats what he is doing maybe he doesnt want to answer you till he really thinks bout all of it.. so it may be a coupld of days.. which is good because if he didnt think bout it thn he could make a decision he would regret.

He hasn't been online yet, so he hasn't even read it but I know he will

maybe thats what he is doing maybe he doesnt want to answer you till he really thinks bout all of it.. so it may be a coupld of days.. which is good because if he didnt think bout it thn he could make a decision he would regret.

maybe thats what he is doing maybe he doesnt want to answer you till he really thinks bout all of it.. so it may be a coupld of days.. which is good because if he didnt think bout it thn he could make a decision he would regret.

I think so too, but I can't force him into anything. I'm wondering if he will be straightforward. He has answered in a couple days so I hope he's done some thinking.

yeah wait and if its just saying that he doesnt think he can do it. like his last one he didnt just come out and say hey i dont wanna do this then tell him EXACTLY how you feel. i dont think he should be just hinting around at stuff cause even if he isnt meaning it one way you might be taking it that way. so i think he should just be staraight forward with you considering the circumstances.

Well I thought about it, if you read my blog on "I don't know what to do anymore" you will see the messages sent. When he responds to my last one, I might say that. I have told him I feel that way before and he just didn't say anything. But I think now more than ever may be the appropriate time to do so. I just want to wait until I get a response first.

idk i want to tell you to send him another message just to tell him you love him. maybe if you just be straight forward and say I LOVE YOU then he will see.. and then reassure him that you do want to be with him.. i mean i would do that but i am also very impatient so idk how im lasting as a military girlfriend.. but i sont want him to get annoyed.. i mean you said you guys havent said i love you but maybe if you do he will see. i dont want to gve you bad advice. im sorry if im not helping..

I hope that he still wants one now and through this deployment. I'm not gonna make promises to hold off for a year, for all that we might as well stay together. The ball is in his court now, I have tried everything I know how to do. As soon as he can get online and read my message, I will make a new story.

yeah i hope things gett better. i know your probly trying everything to make this wor. and if he doesnt want a relationship with you now then maybe when he comes home if things where ment to be then they will be.. just keep me updated cause i wanna know how things are goin.

If his response is positive I will try to stick with it, if it's negative I ill have to disconnect. I can't go through being this anxious all the time and upset everyday. He is very inconsistent and I don't think he knows what he wants. Even his mom said if I left that it's hard to say if he would come back. I just know he wouldn't it's not his character. I just hope he sees that I love him and let that conquer all.

so i read your other one. it seems to me like he is very confused.. i know he has stress but he is sending you totally mixed signals all i can say now is try to stick with it.. i know this is really hard but mayeb give it a little time to like cool down. idk im even confused now that he said that..

Girl, I'm trying I really am.

yeah and remeber to support him cause it has to be hard over there and remind him all the time you are here for him no matter what..

I hope one day he can. The next step for me is asking his intentions of the relationships. Not promises or gaurantees, just seeing what he would like to happen so we can make goals. He hasn't said it yet, but I have faith when he's ready and the time is right he will. He is not an idiot and I think he is just waiting and making sure it's the right thing for him and us. I'm just going to keep sending him little reminders!

jeffs not emotional at all. he was before the airforce but not now. i barely ever get an i miss you unless i say it first. but ya gotta take what you can get. it may take a while for the i love you part since he was devorced but hopefully one day he can trust to love someone again. :)

He has been consistently messaging me since he has been gone. He said it's gonna be a little bit before he is able to call, but for now has the internet. I just wish he was more emotional and sensitive, like saying I miss you more and maybe one day saying he loves me. I'm just gonna keep hoping and praying!

thats GREAT! see in the end things will turn out.. for the better or maybe for worse. but we pray and hope for the better.

Well the good news is, he responded to a message I wrote him. He assured me he wasn't hiding me has been messaging me much more. I am so happy and I feel like things may be turning around!

yes. and just make sure he knows how you feel about the whole situation. and then if he says he doesnt want you to stick around tell him that hwne he gets home if you dont have another relationship maybe things can start where they left off.

I am just trying to hold on still, I haven't lost all faith but I need clear direct answers from him and his inconsitency is really making this hard. I am hoping that what everyone tells me is true, stick around and he will come to me. It's hard to see right now and it all comes down to what his response is to my message. I have never done that and honestly right now I'm too scared, I know I'm gonna get rejected. I hope that one day I can do it though. I just need to know where his heart is first.

well all i can say is i sorta know what your talking bout.. cause my boyfriend jeff is really bad at telling me how he feels. so sometimes i just say im done trying in this relationship if you are, but jeff is also not deployed so your sorta stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place.. i wish i was more hel but all i can say is he is probly stressed bout leaving and stuff so give it a few weeks and HOPEFULLY things will get better. military relationships are hard but if your strong stick with it! try to support him however much you can. remind him everytime you talk that your proud of him. and maybe you should just be like "listen i love you, you dont have to say it back but i just wnted you to know i am here for you and always will be." if thats how you feel the best thing i have learned is you HAVE to share your feelings.. which is hard somtimes but you just gotta do it!

I hope that he does come around. I have sacrificed so much for him and I love him dearly. I feel like I;m in a room that is dead quiet screaming "Here I am, I love you!" And he doesn't even notice me. Maybe he is nervous and needs a little space to think about things, but it would still be nice if I were in the loop. Right now I am very much detached and I don't want to go down the road of pain and regret. We have been together 7 months and I want to keep it going but I can't do it without him. He still has to try too.

well maybe he is just nervous to say i love you cause he got divorced and doesnt want to make that mistake again. and maybe he doesnt want to rush things because he is deployed.. maybe he is just scared to jump right back into a relationship. i think if you just give him time.. maybe he will come around. but if ya need to talk you can message me.