Drew Has Responded To The Latest Messages....

So after a lot of thinking and worrying, I think things may get to look up. His first message was heart wrenching because we have had a lot of arguments before, however I commend his honesty. Although I did not break down when reading this, I took it as more of a guide:

 "The message helped show that you want to be with me and I really appreciate that and your prayers for my safety aside from the other subjects. As far as making it work I just dont know what I want. Sometimes I do and sometimes I dont and I dont wanna waste your time or take anything away from you. I dont wanna be a burden or a constant pain you are dealing with. Sometimes I think we should cut ties and you can do your own thing and I can concentrate here and figure out what I want in life and if the situation presents itself we can try again. It just seems so hostile with us a lot and this may be a good time to try something else and if its better than go that route and if not then we can try again. But I do know that I cannot function in a relationship the way both me and you were working before. Thats me being completely honest and real. I never have the intention to hurt you or want to hurt you. Your dedication to me is remarkable and amazing but its just the other things that both me and you struggle on that is the part I cant deal with. If it does end I really want you to know when we had good times they were really really fun and great. You are a good person with a great life ahead of you and you should continue that and concentrate on your own personal success because I believe you can go a long way. I have to go now and we"ll talk more later........goodnight"

 

My response is a little longer;

 "I'm glad that you appreciate it, I meant all of it from my heart. Like I said take some more time to think about it if your still unsure. Our past does not have to facilitate what happens now. Now its a new time and new things. I have given you no reason thus far while you have been gone to fight. I understand more than you think this situation and I accepted it a long time ago when you wanted to be together. We have had some good talks and conversations before you left and now. I don't think you're wasting my time because I care about you so much. What are you going to take away from me? Dating other people? I could care less. It's not that I'm missing out. Yeah, so I can't talk to you every night, but eventually you will get a phone and have your own computer. I made a promise to you 7 months ago that I was gonna do this with you and be here when you got home, I intend on keeping it. You're not a burden to me Drew if you were I wouldn't write you back. You're not "something I deal with", you're my boyfriend and your something I live with and accept and care about. Like I said you and I have had our struggles, but in no way do we have to still be the ones to continue it. I dropped it, and if I didn't I would freak out all the time and be so calm in these situations. We are the same, neither of us could have continued that way. We have worked towards changing it and done a great job. I respect you and support you Drew, I'm still not giving up on you, I won't. We have been through more together in 7 months than most couples in the whole thing, I'm not letting it go that easy. I know if you really didn't want this you would tell me. I know you're scared from the past and scared because of our lack of communication, but the fact is, it's all going to be okay. When you write I'll write back, when you call I'll answer, and I'm still gonna send you stuff. I've always come through for you, and you for me, this time won't be any different. Have a little more faith in me and us. I'll prove it to you. Going another way isn't an option for me unless you absolutely, 100% want me out of your life. Don't talk about if it does end, it will only bring negative. Stay upbeat and positive, think about what I have said and how I am now, not how we were. I'm still praying and thinking about you fishy. I look at your pictures every night and our saved texts(they really help to keep me going!). I look forward to hearing your voice and see your beautiful blue eyes again :)" 

His second response:

"wow that was long....i had to highlight it just to read it all.....i hear everything you say and im glad ur being flexible and understanding. another thing i want you to do is live....i wanna make sure your still going out and having a good time and enjoying life...anything different is a waste!"

My second and last response:

 "Don't worry I still go out with my friends and have a drink or two. I did last night. This week is just really busy with school and what not. How's the building of the living quarters, when do you think you will be able to call me? Just don't think that you're a problem and just because I haven't heard from you every second that I'm gonna go do something I shouldn't. Just do what you tell me all the time, relax and breath! We'll be ok fishy. I miss you lots and I hope everything is going well out there. Do you know your address yet?"

 

Sorry guys I know this is really long but everyone asked for updates. I feel more at peace now. I basically said I'm not taking no for an answer and you're going to see that I'm here for you and not giving up. I hope now he feels more at ease just like I do and we can continue in this positive direction.

As always, comments and thoughts welcome. 

Runin4rmfate Runin4rmfate
26-30, F
13 Responses Mar 16, 2010

Well I know he hasn't been very receptive when I say I miss you and what not, but I try to hang in there. Maybe he just needs his heart to heal from his ex-wife. I send him a message everyday to tell him I think about him a lot. Hopefully things look up!

Well for your own sanity, just don't talk to him for awhile. You are a strong woman and I know that you are able to handle whatever comes your way, as well as whatever separates itself from you. If you are a spiritual woman, prayer helps too. Don't forget that you have support and validation from others that know you don't deserve to be treated and talked to the way he's talking to you.

Well for your own sanity, just don't talk to him for awhile. You are a strong woman and I know that you are able to handle whatever comes your way, as well as whatever separates itself from you. If you are a spiritual woman, prayer helps too. Don't forget that you have support and validation from others that know you don't deserve to be treated and talked to the way he's talking to you.

well right now I might as well get over that idea! When I write him I tell him I miss him and what not and he doesn't even acknowledge it. I mean seriously, what's the deal! Between everything going on in my life if this continues he's going to push me to the point of not caring anymore. I don't know if that's what he's after but it's heading there.

I have no idea what to do anymore right now. I'm so tired of being strung around like I just wanna say I'm finished. Its terrible but I'm sick of all of it right now!! I've done everything I know how to do and I'm so damn tired of being strung around. I guess if he wants me he'll come to me! Maybe I should just consider myself single! And if he doesn't see that he's missed out, that's his damn problem! I'm seriously sick of the different views and the uncertainty. Like one person can only fight so much! I've prayed, I hoped, I tried...its not good enough.

I have to kind of agree with elizabeth and emily, however it sounds like you're not focusing on him too much which is good. I'm in school too, so I know that can occupy a girl with too much time on her hands. However in one of your last messages you said "I have to show him I have my own life and am working on it too". I don't think you should do it to show him anything, do nursing for you. if it's really what you love, it is part of you as well. your life should never be to show a man you have a life. the same with a mans life, he should never join or volunteer for these things to show that he can be away from his wife/gf/fiancee whatever. <br />
I do think that his language says that he wants to back off for awhile, but it sounds like he still has deep feelings and thoughts for you. maybe he just needs the time to see how much he things about you and see what he finds. I personally can't tell which way he'll go from it, but it sounds like you two have better communication now, so that may be your saving grace this next few months.

Sometimes it sounds like that but other times it sounds like he's just pushing away. I'm not entirely sure what to think. I'm just kinda holding back a little and waiting.

It sounds like he is mostly focusing on personal growth for each of you, which is not a bad idea. Being in the situation you are in with the relationship, take advantage of the opportunity. Maybe it's not so bad having things stand where they are now, you guys can focus on building your friendship part of the relationship more and in the end you'll both be better off no matter what, right?

Right now I'm going to leave it be for a little bit, let him get adjusted out there then hopefully come to me. I have a busy few days ahead of me and I need to concentrate on that for now. I have faith that if he didn't want it he would have said so. I will ask him in a few weeks where he stands and go from there. I'm still worrying about myself, because nursing school after all right now is my life. I want to show him that I have my own life and am working on it too.

Right now I'm still thinking him and I are together. Its like I have said before to him, if you don't want this all you have to do is let me know. I still continue to focus on school and work. I'm trying to take a step back and look at the whole picture. In going to ask him again if he can give me a concrete answer about what he wants. I know he's still scared and so am I. I want to tell him I need his support or in this. If he wants it he just has to say so. Its hard to make myself number 1 right now but I'm learning how to do that. I still feel things are very unclear with us. I want to succeed in my own life and want him to support me and us. I still don't want the run around. I have also thought about saying ok well I'm gonna take a step back until you can tell me for sure. I'm still quite confused, I still hope things work. By him saying if it ends it makes me think it hasn't yet. I'm still confused and trying to do my best.

im so happy and you are doing great it sounds like you are very good at explaining your feelings which i struggle with but that could be my age to. it is great that your doing better and it sounds like he wants it to work to. you are doing great girl. keep it up im still praying for you guys im glad its better though.

I've put my all into this and I'm basically saying hey I'm fighting for you and you're not going to just walk away from me. Should I have had to go through that, no. Did I make my own choices? Yes. I believe in Drew's own little way he said ok I believe you when he said he's glad I'm being understanding and flexible. He even mentioned trying again twice in the same message. Why try again when you can work on what you have? I think if I stay upbeat and positive and really continue pulling through for him he will have no choice but to see what I'm doing. So in my eyes we are still together and working very steadily on our relationship. We are rebuilding and becoming stable. If this open line of communication is kept up I feel that we will have no other choice than to overcome the odds! I'm so thankful things have worked they way they have lately!

Wow, you are being so amazing and it sounds like its getting in! He sounds like he just freaked for a second. A lot of guys (esp marines) have a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that a relationship that is not 100% firm or just beginning can actually still grow and even stregthen while they are gone. They feel "stupid" holding on to it. Esp when their buddy's wives have cheated on them and they are all divorcing. And especially becuase they do have a tendency to get detached while gone. But I really think you are dealing with the situation like a pro. You can tell how much you love him and how genuiene your feelings are. I have a feeling that if you just keep doing what you are doing, and show him that you are there. This is going to work out for you. Bc their gratitude for those who stay by their side is amazing. Im praying for you, and keeping my fingers cross!!