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I Am Trying To Be Strong! But Its Getting Hard!

My husband of almost one year just joined the army he has been gone almost two months and we have about a month to go until he is out of basic training and goes to AIT. I have known my husband since I was 12 years old and it was love at first sight. We started dating along time ago and then out of the blue we decided to get married, in Las Vegas! About a month later, he joined the army and it took him 10 months to leave. I have been trying so hard to be strong and walk around with head held high, but I miss my husband! I know that basic is just the start of him being gone for long periods of time, and everyone I know keeps telling me that, but it doesn't make it easier for me to get through the day with out being sad. I am so proud of him! He has never had a positive role model in his life and he chose to take care of me and do something good with his life. His mother tells me almost everyday she thinks he is stupid for joining the military, I quickly come to his defense but sadly I am not finding much support with our families. Its very sad! I feel very alone.
I am so glad I found a place where I can go and get support!!
Patricia64 Patricia64 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 2, 2012

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It's a strange little world you have stepped into, almost like a monarchy, and you will both love and hate feeling like a royal. You will be seen as a reflection of your husband, which can be daunting, but you will be cherished and honored as the strength that keeps him going.<br />
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There is very little that the book doesn't cover, but you will pick it up in no time. Things like how he probably won't kiss you in public while in uniform, unless it is a formal function. This is in respect to those who are separated from their loved ones. There is actually a law that prohibits him from pushing a baby stroller while in uniform. This is to keep the anonymity of the soldier and their family for protection from enemies. Cleavage is frowned upon, and while many of the newer members are becoming lax about it, the older wives will respect you a lot more if you hide the ladies, lol. There is a tradition when your husband receives a new rank and you get to "pin" him (it's a velcro patch now) that you punch him hard in the chest where the rank is placed. This is symbolic from a time when airborne got their wings. It really was a pin back then and it was some bizarre honor to have the thing break skin, a testiment to his masculinity. I even heard a story of some guy getting it lodged into his breastbone.<br />
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Like I said, it's a strange little world, but an amazing one. There is nothing like it.

That book saved my life! I got it from my marine cousin who read it with his wife. They both learned something. Even my husband, who has been in the military for 20+ years and has been married 3 times during his career, didn't know everything I needed to do once we tired the knot. He thought putting me down as a dependant was enough. I had to convince him that I actually had to be ENROLLED into tricare, lol.<br />
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The best part of the book is that it takes some of the stress off about meeting other wives. It lets you know about proper protocol and manners, so you are less worried about making a mistake.

Thank you guys so much! I can't wait to get stationed so I can make new friends! I am excited to go on this adventure with my husband! I am also scared, I will admit it! I keep coming across things that I have to do, like tricare, and getting my Spouse ID, I had no Idea what I was doing! lol! But thank goodness the people at the ba<x>se by my house were so nice!! My husbands AIT is like really long he keeps writing me that he wants me to move out there, I dont know if its a good idea....And I will download that book on my nook!! Thank you for recommending it!!

Hear, hear! Being an Army wife definately taught me about strengths I never knew I possessed. My hubby is an engineer and did his stint as an AIT instructor. He had me remodeling our entire house, inside and out, just the two of us. I never pictured me doing concrete work, plumbing, framing, or electrical work. I was always such a girly girl. He constantly nudges me out of my comfort zone and it's an amazing blessing. The military is the last true frontier. With internet, people have become more aware of the world and more closed off at the same time. It's nothing to make a new friend online, but it's nothing like the kinship you feel when you and another wife help each other find your way together in a new place.

The best thing about the military is that you get a whole new, very large and very supportive family to help you through every (and I mean EVERY) problem you face in your marriage, be it separation, financial, medical, or a family crisis. The best thing you can do is get this book called Married to the Military. It has a pink camo cover and will help you navigate military life and show you where to find the support you need.