That is what I have heard now for almost seven years. I am a military wife....a spouse....a dependant. I met my husband in Ottawa while I was working at the ba
se. He use to whistle at me as I walked down the hangar line and eventually we met at the Junior Ranks Mess and the rest is history. Shortly after we were married he came home from work with news to share with me and I had news to share with him. My exciting news was that I was pregnant an his news was that we were posted to Baden, Germany and we would be leaving the following month. So much emotion at that time, just newly married, pregnant with our first child and leaving my childhood home and my job with the Government. Without going into a lot of detail, we lived in Germany, then got posted to Trenton, then to Comox and then back to Trenton. We had settled in quite comfortably in Trenton, our children graduated from highschool and off they went to University an College to begin their lives and careers. During this time I followed a real passion of mine, belly dancing and began teaching it at the MFRC and through Loyalist College. It was very successful and rewarding. Then my husband was sent to Alert for 6 months and then to Winnipeg for 4 months and then they handed him a posting message to Gagetown, NB. They also told him that he wouldn't be there very long before going on training with the Vandoos from Valcartier and then he would be sent to Afghanistan. With much soul-searching and discussions we decided that he would go IR and I would remain in Trenton, continuing on with my teaching, close to our children who were in Ottawa and able to be a part of the birth of our first grand-child. If I had gone to Gagetown I would not have been able to get home as often, I would have had to start all over again making friends, searching out teaching opportunities for belly dancing and most importantly, my husband would be away. Needless to say, we have been on IR now for seven years. The first 4 years went by relatively quick, he ended up not going to Afghanistan with the Vandoos but went with the RCHA from Petawawa for 6 months, and then did 4 months in Dubai with a promise of being posted back to Trenton. That never happened and instead he was posted to Petawawa and sent away again to Afghanistan with another promise of a posting to Trenton. That never happened and now he is posted to Ottawa. While this should be a wonderful thing for us, what people fail to realize is that my husband only has another year and a half to retirement. He will have 35 years in the military. Again with a lot of soul-searching and discussions we decided that we wanted to retire in the Trenton area and we bought a beautiful home after living in PMQ's for 15 years. We could not possibly get the same type of house in Ottawa. But now, we have to wait just one more year (and a half) before we can be re-united. This June we will be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary and we have spent seven of those years apart, trying our hardest to make things work, to keep our marriage and our family together with love and communication and acceptance of the situation. I am proud of how we have handled things but can't help but being a little disappointed and hurt by the military who say that they stand behind the families. It is only because we don't cry and scream that we have to endure a little longer before we can be re-united through retirement.