My husband and I have been together for 10 years married for three of those wonderful years.  I love my husband deeply and with every fiber of my body and sole. We have a 3 yrs old and a 2 yrs old.  My husband left 2 days ago for a military deployment over seas for at least one year.  I find my self crying over the slightest reminder that he is gone.  I am terrified of what may happen to him and don't know exactly how to explain to our children why he is no longer at home. I find that people don't know how to react to me during this time.  Some tell me they will pray for our family and my husband, which I appreciate.  Other's begin to tell me stories of their families or friends which have been overseas.  Sometimes this is helpful.  Other times, like when they tell stories of soldiers getting killed or harmed, these stories are really unwanted.  I feel as though I am going through a greiving process like he has been killed.  I cry at the sight of his shirt that he left laying out before he left.  I cry at the sight of his tooth brush that he will not be using for at least one year.  I am told this will get better.  I certainly hope so. 
gsheffield gsheffield
26-30, F
6 Responses Jun 3, 2007

I know how you feel my soon to be husband is leaving for deployment luckily its just a peace keeping mission and he leaves in may for about ten months we have a baby due in January and its hard I keep thinking how is our baby going to understand where daddy is and he's leaving when out baby will only be five months old and he's going to missing ten months if his life all of his firsts and I look at our house and it makes me sad cuz my fiance loves to play his music loud and its like he won't do that anymore I'm going to miss that so I'm here if you need anyone to talk to.

My heart goes out to you doll. I can't stand deployment, and it is truly difficult in EVERY way, but I think we always have to remind ourselves, over and over again, of our love for each other and our commitment to staying together. And I truly hope you can at least speak to him through social media, like Skype or Facebook or what have you. For my fiance and I, these have been a godsend, for sure.

My husband is currently underway and is about to be deployed for the first time for eight months at the minimum. We don't have children but I'm finding it to be a very difficult time even still. I am trying to focus on the more positive side of things, and keeping myself busy. I'm sure your children can help with that. I'm not sure if it will get easier in the sense that you'll always be worried about your loved one, but you might get used to him being gone. Just take it one day at a time. Maybe you could concentrate on throwing a big surprise for him when he gets home.

I know that my husband going to boot is nothing compared to what you are going through with your husband being deployed overseas, but I know how it feels to leave things in their place. After my husband left it was like I was mourning him I did not touch anything that he had left for the sheer fact that I thought if I did he might somehow vanish. But I ended up having to do just that when I moved. I now sleep in some of his shirts and have at least one of his hats that I wear every now and then. It does help sometimes, but I do feel for you I hope it has gotten better with time.

I haven't been able to take care of his laudary yet because I can't go into his closet without crying. I don't watch the new either and haven't since he was put on alert. People think that is weird. Most say they would think I would want to know what is going on over there, but I don't want to see what kind of danger he is going into. It is nice to know I am not the only one going through these emotions and dealing with them. Thanks for your comment.

I does get better. I'm not going to say all at once. I am so bad that I left his clothes he wore the day he left laying next to the bed where he left them and his boots. I'm still trying to wash them and can't seem to do it yet. It's easier to deal with it now. It's been four months since he left. I have hard moments, mostly when people start mentioning the news. Finally I told them to respect me and not to mintion it. I don't watch the news, read the newspapers, or anything having to do with the war. Take it a day at a time and stay busy. You'll hear this a lot sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't be much help.