Hatred?I have had this feeling paining my heart today, such a painfull feeling.
Somehow, I have found myself unable to hate humans these last months, and I find it deeper and more painfull.. each time I think it, each time it falls in me... I have lost the ability to hate. Perhaps I don't have lost it, but more the fact that things one hate is things one end up recalling like a dear friend. I have been thinking a lot.
"Things that are hated are recalled...." but it's not just that, I wish to hate good things so I can recall them by that. Why do I only recall such terrible things? Why do I wish to recall humanity? It sadens me that I only can think of things I do not like, so I ended up giving up hatred. If anything, I am only disgusted by humans and have no trust in them. Hatred, such a strong feeling of mine I am no longer willing to give humans.
Somehow this feeling in me grows, such a terrible pain.
I am unable to bear it any longer, I don't wish hatred anymore. I am different, I am a Misanthrope, but still this feeling in me that will not let me go. I have long forgoten how to hate now, and I did not realize what it have taken from me. Still I will never trust a human, neither will I enjoy the sight of another human and prefer my lone ways, but I will never ever hate again. What does it solve? I have seen humans go through hatred, to much pain, so much sorrow, and people drown in that hatred. I don't wanna lose myself for something so small, for something so trival. Perhaps it sound weird, but all I find is sadness when I see people with hate. The most human emotion, hatred, I do not wish to bear it as a Misanthrope. It's to painfull to have it in me, hatred.
I will never trust a human, that is my only truth, and somehow I hope none other will bear it.
If so, use hatred on people who deserve to be recalled... peacepeople, someone kind, anything else, just not someone terrible. If only terrible history is left for people, no one will be good since only terrible people and actions will be recalled...
I have decided this is the best way. At least for me as a Misanthrope.
Barlong 22-25, F 4 Responses 1 Dec 5, 2011