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Disillusioned

I'm 52 and thoroughly disillusioned, with almost everything. My main thoughts seem to be "What's the point?"

I'm not suicidal. I'm more bored than suicidal.

I look at people who supposedly are happy and have lots of friends and my first thought is that they're either stupid, faking it, or both.

The only people I feel any kind of connection to are my two kids. And that is troubling because it would be impossible to explain these thoughts to them, yet I must pretend I buy into this world I have brought them up to live in (they are early 20's, just starting out).

I never have been a people person. I've basically just "gotten by," going through the motions. But lately the negative feelings toward people in general have accelerated. I have always been intelligent and relatively successful. It has always bothered me to watch inferiors achieve success without the type of effort I have put forth. This is probably the root of my misanthropy.

I feel like I'm in the Matrix and I can see the truth.
sadreally sadreally 51-55 2 Responses Feb 10, 2013

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there is no point in being around people unless you need someone to take care of you. maybe for companionship but then that would be too tempting to replace with someone better.

everybody seems fake because as a human you need to avoid the reality that you might be hit by disease at anytime and you are marching toward your death. If a human faces the full reality of existence, there would be far less motivation to do anything.

i think you are in a cycle that feeds itself.. "i avoid people because i don't like them and don't see the point of being around them.. i am bored"

it can be hard to find fulfillment in life without meaningful relationships