DisillusionedI'm 52 and thoroughly disillusioned, with almost everything. My main thoughts seem to be "What's the point?"
I'm not suicidal. I'm more bored than suicidal.
I look at people who supposedly are happy and have lots of friends and my first thought is that they're either stupid, faking it, or both.
The only people I feel any kind of connection to are my two kids. And that is troubling because it would be impossible to explain these thoughts to them, yet I must pretend I buy into this world I have brought them up to live in (they are early 20's, just starting out).
I never have been a people person. I've basically just "gotten by," going through the motions. But lately the negative feelings toward people in general have accelerated. I have always been intelligent and relatively successful. It has always bothered me to watch inferiors achieve success without the type of effort I have put forth. This is probably the root of my misanthropy.
I feel like I'm in the Matrix and I can see the truth.