Life Can Be Hard

My husband wasn't sure if his son was even biologically his, but when jr. was born, my husband was there and so signed the birth certificate which was acknowledging his paternity. His son's mom straight up told my husband that "the kid' isn't yours anyway," and told different members of his family that and they encouraged him to back off from trying to get custody. The mom had moved and didn't tell the dad where she was. For a yr. the dad didn't know where they even were. A yr. later, child welfare showed up at our door a few months after my husband and I got married and I was pregnant with his child. The child brought to us at our front door was morbidly obese. his head was overly large, and though he was almost two years old, he couldn't walk. He had been found abandoned at a homeless shelter with his infant sister. He was in the 30th percentile for his height, 100th for his weight. He seemed afraid of men, but at more than 35 pounds it was frustrating for me to have to lift him. When my baby was born, I nursed. That meant I gave my all to my baby, but couldn't give what the emotionally harmed child needed. To this day he is behind in maturity in comparison to my biological son, and I try to do what I can. My husband is disabled and many a day has felt sorry for himself, which I have resented, because I don't want to choose between my son and his. My husband overcompensates for the hard time my step son went through, and spoils him, then when his son embarrasses him in public by screamimg bloody nurder when he doesn't get what he wants, my husband gets angry. There are problems that are sometimes not even mine to try and figure out. The serenity prayer is my daily mantra. I can only do what I can do. My stepson does things I tell him not to do, and sometimes pressures his little brother into doing them, such as getting food from the fridge. To this day he is addicted to food and has been caught dumping packages of food over the kitchen floor in the middle of the night [by me, of course]. Being a mom and step mom is way hard. I am the one who woke with him in the middle of the night. I am the one who taught him how to walk. I taught him how to speak. I got him services for help with whatever issue came up. I took him to health appointmets. And I resent every moment that I had to pry myself away from my biological son because my husband couldn't take care of his own. Life is hard sometimes.
mtiff mtiff
26-30, F
1 Response Dec 12, 2012

Can not even imagine how demanding this has to be for you. You obviously are very honest since you seemed to have painted a picture of a good person with real pressures would handle this, and not a saint. You deserve a lot of credit. I admire your strength.

Thanks. I cringe looking at the hard details. That must've been a hard day, for sure, for me to have vented like that, but it may be appropriate an experience for this group. I hope someone else can relate.