Need Help

I have a 17 year old son that has been in T.Y.C for 5 years he was12, he molested his sister 10, and step brother8 at the time. He has completed the treatment program and he is living with his grandparents now. He is not the same kid anymore. He is just different. He is not happy, very shy, and you can't hardly understand him when he talks. He has mood swings. I sent my dad a picture of him and he even said something is not right in his head. He and my mother were very close, and now they aren't. I am going to have him tested for some mental disorders, but i don't know where to start.

is there someone out there that has the same problem that can help me understand.



missy77971 missy77971
31-35, F
6 Responses Apr 15, 2007

Accept who he is and love him. Be honest with him and earn his trust and honesty. if he can accept himself he will get better. he needs open relationships with other people where he can express himself and get constructive and basically positive feedback. therapists do this as a profession accepting the patients as they are. who wants to express themselves to a person or people who you assume wouldn't like the real you anyway? think about his pain being surrounded yet isolated from people.

1.800.759.0700 HELP

1.800.759.0700 HELP

You have to be joking! When I was a kid all I wanted was for my mom to talk to me! Every time a problem came up she instantly suggested psychology. All "distant" teens want is for their mom to accept them for who they are and actually talk to them. If modern mothers keep preaching communication but then as soon as a problem arrises suggest they talk to someone else,how can we expect to have any relationship at all with our children?

My guess is your son and you have been totally screwed by society, in general.<br />
I am guessing your son can not make sense of his emotions and thoughts (who can blame him). And society's mixed up attitudes towards sexuality, intimacy and love. You need to sort your own head out first, ideally. Find someone u can trust, and have similar values and beliefs about this whole area.<br />
Just be open, honest, loving, respectful and forgiving with him. And accept no less in return. It will be very tough indeed.<br />
He needs to accept responsibility for his truly negative actions.<br />
But also accept that other things were out of his control, and that he needs to forgive himself, to truly love and like himself. That way he can find love, give love and accept love in his future life.<br />
Good luck. And take care.<br />
PS Psychiatrists and Psychologists have to stick to current politically ideology, mostly. I think u will find it very difficult. If not impossible to find a decent one. Though they are out there.

Openness and honesty are the keys to knowing your inner self. The subconscious will tune into his greatness. So talk to him with humor, honesty and life.