No One Thought I Could Do It, I Proved Them Wrong

I always felt unloved and unnoticed.  My family was not affectionate at all.  We didn't hug or kiss or even touch really and i rarely heard "I love you".  I now know that my parents are wonderful people and that they love me but they really didn't show it.  I needed it! I needed to be noticed, cared for, important, and most of all loveable.  I craved love, i still do.

I never really wanted a lot of attention, i was uncomfortable when people paid too much attention to me.  Probably because i just wasn't used to it.  I wanted to be loved and i looked for love in all the wrong places, starting quite young.  I allowed people to take advantage of me because i thought they loved me.

When i was 15 i quit careing about myself. I let my values and standards slide.  I was tired of trying to be good when i felt everyone thought i was bad anywayl.  I started drinking and partying. I started having sex with my boyfriend.  He loved me and that felt good. The first time we had unprotected sex i became pregnant.  My family would never understand so i didn't tell them.  I was about 3 months along when i finally asked someone to tell my parents.  I had tried several times but i just couldnt say the words.  But the word was getting out and i didn't want my parents to find out that way. 

My parents were very angry.  They wanted to know why and asked question after question.  They pretty much backed me into a corner and there was no escape for me but i had no good answer for them.  Eventually they calmed down a bit.  They suggested adoption but i was totally against that.  I think adoption is a truely selfless and beautiful thing however i just knew at the time that this was my baby and it was meant for me.  They tried not to push it on me but i knew they thought the best thing would be for me to place my baby for adoption.  That didn't sway me however, there just was never any question in my mind that this was my baby and i was the best mother for him.  I felt that no one thought i could do it and i knew that i could do it.

My boyfriend was a good person, he stood by me and his family was wonderful. I wanted to get married right away, I wanted the security of knowing he wasn't going anywhere and i wanted to get out of my parents house. On my sixteenth birthday my boyfriend proposed to me and i gladly accepted.  My mom cried.

My parents were not going to make it that easy they would not consent to marriage unless i proved to them that among other things we were financially able to be married.  I ignored this and planned to get married.  We hadn't set a date but we were planning to marry before the baby was born. 

then one day my boyfriend came to me and told me that he was not ready for this!!! i thought he meant he didn't want the baby but what he was really trying to say is that he wanted to wait to get married.  I was absolutely devistated.  I didn't have a plan i didn't want to be alone and i dind't have any control over anything in my life.  I was terribly depressed but i didn't let it show.  My boyfriend explaind that he wanted to keep the baby but he just wasn't ready to be married yet.  so we were still engaged but had no idea when we would actually marry. 

i was due in March, i went to school until January when i was 7 months pregnant.  People had offered to let me come live with them out of state but i was not running away.  I was pregnant that was a fact and i was going to be a mother so why try to hide.  I didn't flaunt it or tell everyone about it.  Just my close friends and if someone asked i was honest.  I was amazed at how many people at school didn't know i was pregnant even at 7 months!

I remember my last day of high school.  I went home at lunch time and laid on my bed and cried.  I didn't know what else to do. I had enrolled in a highschool where i could do most of it at home and i could take my baby with me when i went to the school. As soon as i turned 16 i got a job and started putting money away.  I didn't have a drivers license yet so i had to ride the bus to and from work.  I hated riding the bus. I was completely responsible for everything i did.  I just did it i found my school, my job, my bank account, things i needed for the baby.  I never asked for help. I got myself into this position and i would take care of myself and my baby. My boyfriend helped buy things for the baby and by the time he came we had what we needed.  I saved everything i earned at work except for what i needed to cover my expenses.

In March i gave birth to a baby boy.  It was a scary delivery and the baby had to be recessitated.  But once they finally got him screaming he never stopped.  I remember the way my nurse treated and spoke to me like a child, i know i was only 16 but i wasn't a child anymore. I left the hospital for home after only 12 hours because i couldn't afford the hospital. I definately was not ready to go home, i couldn't even stand or walk without passing out or coming close but i chose to go anyway.  I was still living with my parents who had decided to accept the whole situaion, they didn't have any other choice.  

It was amazing to see the changes that took place in my family when that sweet baby came home.  He really changed everyone. Everyone loved him and for the first time in my life i got to know my mom, really know her. She was always willing to help with the baby but she didn't pry or take over.  I was his mother and i took care of him.  There were definately times, such as sleep deprived nights when i just had to have some sleep,  i was glad to have her there. 

  My boyfriend and his family were there through it all.  We saw him every day.  He was still in High School and working after school but we would be at his house when he got home from work so he could see the baby for a bit. I continued to finish high school and two weeks after the baby was born i returned to work part time.  Boyfriend  gave me 100$ every month and with that and what i earned i paid for the needs of the baby. 

I loved being a mother, My baby was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He gave me something to live for someone to love and care about and he loved me unconditionally.  He was not an easy baby, though he was very sweet he had terrible collic.  He screamed for hours at a time and he had to be on special formula that was EXPENSIVE.  I didn't care, i can honestly say that i never got frustrated with him crying all the time. I just felt bad because my baby was hurting.  People tell me now that they don't know how i did it because no one else could.  I occasionally would leave him with one of my sisters to babysit him and they could just barely handle it for that short while.  I loved wakeing up to hiim every morning he made my life worth living.  He saved my life really i don't know where i would have ended up if it were not for him.  I loved watching him grow and take his first steps and say his first words. He has always been such a tremendous blessing in my life.

We went through so much together.  There were definately hard times when i was scared to death but i never let it show, i had to prove to everyone that i could do this and i did. I couldn't fail, i owed it to my baby because i chose to keep him he was mine and i knew it.  Everything i did was for him.

I cared for my Son and did my schooling in the morning then paid my sister to watch him in the afternoon for a few hours when i went to work. His dad would go to school then to work for a few hours then pick up our Son from my sister and take care of him until i got home from work around 11:00 pm.  It worked out pretty well but it was a lot for a couple of sixteen year old parents. We managed fairly well.

I didn't have a social life anymore.  The baby and his daddy were it.  It was hard for Dad to give up his social life, he loved us but he still had a LOT of growing up to do.  There were times he would spend a lot of time with us and others where he would avoid us somewhat to spend time with his friends.  I remember watching for him to get home from work on the weekends so i could call him right away before he left with his friends.  And sometimes he would leave as quickly as he could before i could get ahold of him.  I can't complain however, most guys in this situation would not have stuck around for a baby at all.  

We loved each other and we loved our baby and finally we set a date to get married.  I graduated high school 11/2 years early and was able to find a full time job.  We got married when our Son was 2 years old.  Marriage was definately difficult at first but we made it.  In fact we will celebrate our 12th anniversary next week!  

It is amazing the way we sometimes receive exactly what we need when we need it most. What may not seem like a good thing at the time may be the best thing that could happen. I know that my God knows me and my needs better than I know myself.

I am so grateful for my Son, I love him sooooo much.  Even at 14 he is an amazing child.  I am so proud of him and grateful that he saved me when i need him so terribly.  I gave everything for him but i received so much more in return.

fr0ggy fr0ggy
26-30, F
37 Responses Jun 17, 2009

this makes me so happy and hopeful for the future. I'm so proud of you for being able to do all of that because of many teenagers could not. how old are you and your son now? did you ever get to go to college?


Good on you girl :)

keep it up girl be strong look to god for your help and not man they will failn us but god want happy earth strong

aww that is such a sweet story, you;ve had a lovely life, not easy though, ur a strong person, look up to you babe...


There is not much that I can say that has not been said already here. However, I do wish to applaud you and your husband. And your bundle of joy :). <br />
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The Path Life takes us is intriguing is it not? Thank you for sharing your story. Very inspirational.

I know what you mean about hospital staff treating you like a child...I wanted to "unwind" with a little television after having my son and this young nurse comes in and turns off my tv saying I needed to rest and I was too young to know that it was bedtime or something like that. I turned it back on so she removed my remote...I climbed on a chair and turned it on manually. Finally after a few back and forths w/insults about being a kid having a kid, I called nursing supervisors and she was told to leave me alone. That was in 1987.

That is a beautiful story and i enjoyed reading it, i like that the young man , became and man and stayed and hope your son learns to be a good man also , and the only word of caution i, or guidance i might try to give if you want is that you allow your son to break away and don't hold him to close . You have definitely have a great and strong spirit , and seem to be learning to overcome the weaknesses you saw in your parents , because we do have them :) you do have a beautiful spirit :)

Thank you for such a great story, you honestly made my day:) I'm so pleased to see others work so hard to be such great parents and that are so upbeat and positive, your boys should be incredibly proud of you. There is so much negativity surrounding teen pregnancies, it's NICE to hear a positive side.<br />
I had my oldest son 9 days after turning 19 and was in my 3rd year of college (I graduated high school at 15) it was not easy, being a mom and working full time and going to collge full time,but I did it and I'm extremely happy I finished my degrees. I am now the proud mom of 4 children(19,15,12,12) and my son just finished his first year of college:)

aww what a lovely story :) i love it . i'm 16 right now , and pregnant. 2 months pregnant , i was scared to tell my mom but she found out thru a Facebook message, and now everything's alright she's very supportive .

As i could not say well the incident that occurred in the age of 15 but it is also not well to not appreciate you that you manage your mistake with positive approach.

You are utterly inspiring.

this tuched my heart deeply. I am 17 years old and i am not pregnet but this story was so very tuching to reading. I have had friends who have been in similar conditions such as yours and i am so pleased to hear how you worked through it. just by the way you described your maturity at that age shocked me because honestly, there is not many people this age that can handle situations such as these in a mature and responsible manner. I can bet your an amazing mother, you love your son deeply and it shows. Dont ever think your a bad mother because straight from the get go you knew what you wanted and what was best for yourboy. <br />
As for the family condition, i can understand the pain you have there and how hard it must have been. But just look around and you will find love. You have so much love right infront of you now, all the work you have done has come back and granted you 100x more happiness. You are a very inspiring indevidual who gos after what you know is right. thank you very much for sharing this with us

Wow. A wonderful outcome to a stressful situation. There is so much spotlight put on teenage mothers when they get pregnant but nobody ever thinks about how things end up for them as their child grows up.<br />
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I am glad you fought for what you wanted and that you have your wonderful son. Yours is an inspiring story :)

Fabulous story.<br />
Best of luck!<br />
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Andreya =)

WOW!!! you are some kind of woman, it goes to show you knew you're instincts and went with them, and it all turned good. You are living proof that when you put you're mind 2 it - it can work. I feel really proud for you, and you are such an inspiration to others. You sound like a great and loving mum! keep up the good work, i think you're amazing !

Wow! Froggy and Dragonfly..:) thanks for sharing your wonderful and inspiring stories ...<br />
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Froggy you have certainly been guided and inspired to share your beautiful story to help reach many who need to hear it at this time on our planet too...many thanks...this 2010 year is going to be one of great change and small and large miracles will happen everywhere leading up to 2012 when even greater changes will come...<br />
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The truth is we are all psychic...some souls are active and use it profusely with open public acknowledgment and conscious awareness, and others use it unconsciously without recognition or acknowledgment...the time is coming when it will be used as our natural state of we used to a long time ago... we have just forgotten...<br />
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There is a mountain of information online about our life past present and future and more...<br />
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This ezine is one I use which I think as quite good...<br />
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Non judgmental...non religious.... spiritually based... informative..<br />
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Thanks to you Froggy and to you Dragonfly who have shown us how love empowers and overcomes all obstacles...kudos and love to you both... :)

I was a mother since I was 16, but not in the way you would expect.<br />
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WARNING: This is a highly spiritual story, so if the reader is not so inclined to believe in extraordinary spiritual experience, please pass this story by.<br />
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When I was 2 months from turning 16, I asked my non-spiritual parents for a Christian bible to be given to me by them on my 16th birthday. They did not get me the bible although they did give other things. Well, I asked and asked for it, so on Nov. 7th, a month and a day after my birthday they finally gave me the bible and dated it inside for that day. I asked: "What is the significance of THIS day?" As I could see it was not dated for my birthday... my dad said "well, it's the day we gave it to you Laura!" But I could scarcely hear him, because another, louder and stronger (although not audible) answer came out of seemingly nowhere. It said "The significance of this day is that it will be the day your only child shall be born." I was floored. I told my mother and dad of this amazing very strong answer I was getting (it felt like an impact to my chest... but it was a very soft and loving kind of impact). My mother said: you mean only ONE child? Why would that be? Maybe you are mistaken. Maybe it will be the day you'll get married on. But another "impact" came and said "NO" I ran upstairs and fell on my knees asking God how this could be and why was He telling me this NOW and not when I began dating (I had not begun dating yet because I felt I was too young). He said "This will happen sooner than you wish, at a time and in a way NOT of your choosing" and He was right, because 6 years later, events in my life happened just so, even though it seemed very unlikely for something like that to happen to me. I cannot begin to tell you the horrors that awaited me, mostly at the hands of other people, including people who I thought were my lifelong friends and even my family and others, but it was sheer horror and hardship for many years, including homelessness.Through it all, I kept my child. Looking back I could see that this was to be and that what happened to me was real and was foretold to me by God, because even if I had chosen abortion as everyone was saying I should (since it was through violence and "not of my choosing") I would see that bible again after 6 years of it being in storage and I would never have been able to forget the child of my womb even though I had not yet ever known a man at the time of God telling me all about my son (including his birthday).<br />
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(There we are in the picture).<br />
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This proves to me, that we are all known about by God, in great detail, long before we are ever physically concieved.

you're story is sooo amazing and I think it can be soothing for a lot of girls that are experiencing this situation.

hi im 22 i relate to u so much i got preagent when i wa seighteen n i was still in high school it was my last year my now husband was 17 n in school as well it was extreamtly hard for me i didnt ell my mom until i was five months i was scared of her reaction i was the oldest in my family n she was always real strick with me i didnt know what to do but the good thing as u know the only person i had was me mu now husband he steped up to the plate he told my mom he worked 2 jobs after school n at night we got married after 7 years n now i have a 1 yr old my sons are the inspiration of my life there what pushes me every moment of my life n my husband as well he proved me what luv is my mom is not hte type pf person to experss her feelings but now she does with my sons what u did is amazing u should realy be proud of ur self n u absoultely proved people that ur an amazing person

What a beautiful story!! I especially loved the happy ending. Your strength and determination are truly inspiring, thank you for sharing =]

Some of you have asked about my life and children now. So I thought i would add a little about my life now. Yes we had more children. In fact we now have 4 children ages 14, 8, almost 7 and 3, they are all boys!!! I love them so much each one of my children is absolutely amazing, though they are so different.<br />
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I love having boys. They are so much fun. Our lives are very busy with sports and i really enjoying supporting each of them in their particular sports. Right now I spend many hours each week at practices and every saturday we spend about 6 hours (or more) at games! It is a very busy and crazy life, but I love it.<br />
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I have a happy marriage and i love my husband very much. I always will. It is not easy, Marriage. It is something that will always have ups and downs and it takes constant effort. But it is sooo worth it! We have been through a LOT in our marriage but we keep fighting to make it through. Life is not easy, i don't think it is supposed to be. If it were we wouldn't learn much from it (Although easy sounds nice). We are continually faced with challenges and i beieve we learn and grow from our experiences. <br />
I have no regrets about being a mother at such a young age. It wasn't easy and it still isn't. We always struggle financially and a lot of the reason is becase we never had the chance to get set up financially. It i difficult to get an education and higher paying jobs when you have a baby so young. But we always manage to get by and we certainally have everything we really need and more. The son who God sent me when i was only 16 saved my life. He made me want to be a better person, I wanted him to have a good life. I quit making stupid bad decisions because it wasn't about me anymore. It was about him and I only want for him to be happy. <br />
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He is 14 now, and he just started high school! He is 2 inches taller than me and growing so fast i can't feed him enough and he outgrows his clothes way too fast. He is an amazing person. He has a very strong spirit and he stands up for who he is and for what he knows is right. He is such a good kid!<br />
If i could do it all over again I would't change a thing. I am grateful he came into my life when he did. I know it was meant to be. I don't know where i would be without him but i know that it wouldn't be where i am. I am grateful to be here. My life is a blessing my children are the greatest blessings in my life. I am a mother, since i was 16. And i am not ashamed, I am grateful.

that was cool story .<br />
thank you for shareing your story with me.<br />
i injoy listen to you.<br />
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that was cool story .<br />
thank you for shareing your story with me.<br />
i injoy listen to you.<br />
<br />

You have a beautiful soul, and you actions reflected that. May you and your boy find happiness at every bend of life. <br />
Blessed be,<br />

Good for you. You showed everyone you could manage,school, job and a baby at 16. You are good example to others who don't think they can manage. Or who are told that by others. Nobody should make others' decisions for them or try to run their life. <br />
Did you have more children? It would be nice for your son to have a brother or sister.

You're really a good person. It takes a lot of patience, courage and kindness to raise a kid and you've done it ! You are a mature person and I'm glad that you found happiness because I saw that you deserve it :)

Oh my God Juno's all grown up, well umm it was either that or Gilmore Girls. Actually none of the above have anything on you.Your totally in a league of your own! that was amazing I loved reading through that. You know all the hardest times anyone would probably face would be those, but they were just eclipsed with the happiness of the baby around.Even with your writing I was just anticipating the birth and what was to come. You've just sent the warm fuzzies down me. Yayeee made my day!<br />
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Your little bad boy or must be a good one actually, is very lucky! And so are you :). Miracles come in so many packages.

Thank you all for your kind comments. It is great to have a place to share.

I am so happy that you shared your story. When we are blessed in life, we should share with the world because you never know how your story can help others.<br />
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The lessons of life is to never give up and to push through against all odds. Very Beautiful.

Amazing life story.<br />
You truly are courageous and its good that you started taking charge of your life.<br />
Bad childhood can really affect us and we lost track of ourselves.<br />
But its good that your life did not get ruined and ur happily settled.

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful are a very special person....<br />
I married at 21 because my Stepfather would not sign the papers giving us permission to get married...In our country males had to be 21 and females had to be 18 to marry without parental girlfriend was 17 and pregnant...she turned 18 3 days before I turned 21 and we married the following week ...she had a beautiful baby girl and we are still together and happy 48 years later...!!! So it can work...despite all the problems and tough times we go through as you have shown also... :)<br />
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I think this world is so much better for having wonderful people like you in it...<br />
Warm regards Martin

Great story, thank you for sharing a snip of your life with us. I wish you and your boy all the best and hope that you remain as loving as you are. Never doubt it, or yourself, and keep reminding yourself why you made the sacrifices you did. I wish you could teach other teenage mothers of what you did and how they too can find what's right for them, instead of relying on pressures from friends and parents.<br />
Much love from Africa, Sioban

Fr0ggy, you are a truly amazing person.<br />
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Today is a special day for you according to your profile, is it your 12th wedding anniversary today? Whatever it is that makes today special, Happy Special Day fr0ggy.

I can see how challenging it must have been for you to raise a child in your teens but it seems you were very mature and ready for the challenge. It's so clear how much you love your son. Thank you for sharing this amazing journey with us.

Hi, an also congratulations on your high school romance of 12 years. I was pregneat at the age of 15 years old and my boy friend at the time was scared and he did not let his family know about us becomeing teenage parents. I was about 6 to 8 months when his family found out and it was a horrible battle. I ended up having two daughters from him and he left me at the aulter 3 times and I got into drugs and well now I have four baby daddy's. But I am 33 years old and re-married to a wonderful man for about 5 in a 1/2 years now and life is much better than ever before. My first marriage was not with my girls father it was with someone else who I just meet in matter of one month. I know that was crazy but I was high off of meth and just on the rebound but you don't think straight when you are under the influence of a control substance. I have gone through so much just like you, like I graduated high school with honors and I worked and supported my daughters when he wouldn't. Some were a long the line I lost myself and but I found myself at the age of 28 years old and relized that I can change my setuation and be happy once again and I did. read my story and let me know what you think