I Feel So Bad Right Now

I have 2 great kids, a son and a daughter, but I feel like the worst mother in the world.  I hate arguing with my children, it makes me feel terrible after it's over.  Now they will be sitting in school all day thinking I'm a rotten mom and they are probably feeling bad too, how could I do that to them.  Please, someone tell me I am overreacting and that i don't need to feel so bad.   

ccchrissy ccchrissy
41-45, F
3 Responses Apr 20, 2009

You are overreacting and you don't need to feel so bad. :)<br />
Okay now when they come back from school, just give them some tight hugs and pretend nothing happened. Do something fun together or separately. Try and understand why you argue. Do you listen to them, do you apologize to them when you are wrong. Do you give them space. Do you command respect. If you know they are feeling bad, then you obviously love each other very much, don't worry, these feelings are very normal, although you would rather not want to feel like this, but at some point we all do. Try not having long confrontational discussions, keep it simple. Change your routine, your focus a bit. Make some changes in your life for yourself. You are a good good mother.

Kids get frustrated because they feed off of others who are frustrated. Perhaps you should find other ways to help vent out yoru frustration before yelling to your kids. I can understand as a parent that yelling vents out frustration but if you yell often, rethink and realize it's ineffective and it's just putting a wall between you and the child. Is there a pattern to the point where you are frustrated, such as you being busy, and he/she wants your attention by yelling, making a lot of noise? does it increase if you ignore him/her?<br />
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Kids with add/adhd should get more than enough exercise to help release that energy. perhaps a walk around the neighborhood before school and after school. if you have a treadmill use it on the child if walking isn't possible outside.

I feel the same way. My son who is 8 has been a thorn in my side since he started school. I love him but the whole ADHD thing, no meds, meds, the yelling at teachers, cursing and now being down right disrepectful is crazy. I was so mad yesterday after he was kicked out of after care, I told him I hate him and he should tie a rope around his neck and hang himself. I have asked God to forgive me for that comment but man! I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. We are gonna put him back on meds and try more counsling. Now I have to find another after care and pay money that I don't have or application fees etc. God help us.