My Daughter Will Forever Have The Mind Of A Six-year-old.

I have a daughter who is mentally retarded or intellectually disabled with an IQ of 61. She is currently sixteen-years-old and this is the year that she has noticed that she is different from her peers. She is in a private special ed school so you would think that those peers would be more accepting. However, within the past few years the gap between her and her special ed peers has widened. Her best friend is 9 and 14. I think the 14 year-old hangs out with her out of kindness as they have been friends for almost ten years. But, obviously their similar interests are few.
My daughter had IQ testing in school at the age of 6 and at that time her IQ was 67. They told me she was Developmentally Delayed. I had no idea this meant mentally retarded and that it could not be "fixed". My husband and I have spent thousand upon thousands of dollars taking her to all sorts of various doctors trying to find out what was wrong and how to fix it. She was diagnosed again in 2006 (when she was 10) by another outside Neuro-psych who said she had ODD, MOod Disorder, ADHD, and Mild Mental Retardation with an IQ of 70. Again, I could not believe it. I mean she was on some crazy meds that were making her tired, so this must be the reason why she scored to low.
Fast forward to this year 2012 - The school had her three year domain meeting in conjunction with her annual IEP. They did a full Adult IQ test, because of her age and she scored 61. It's taken me 16 years to come to terms. 16 years and I don't think I'm there yet. In the fall the school district will be moving her to a Life Skills Program where she can learn daily living skills: how to ride a bus, make change at the store, balance a checkbook. Did I mention she can't do simple math? I am sick to my stomach and can only keep telling myself over and over again that it is not my fault. I believe it may have happened in the hospital as the labor was well over 12 hours and pushing was 4 hours. She was distressed during the labor process. I guess they should have performed a C-Section. Maybe none of this would have happened.
I try to see the good in all of this, but it is really hard. I kept thinking that she would "catch-up". It's only now that she is sixteen that I see she never will. I don't even know if she will ever drive a car or get married. I am almost 47 and my husband 48. This has taken a tremendous toll on our lives, emotionally and financially.
stressedmommy2 stressedmommy2
Nov 26, 2012