My Daughter Was Molested By Her Now Deceased Father.

My mind was confused and saddened the day that my husband passed away on 12-16-11. I was damaged by every thing that went on in his 32 days in the hospital and in are seven year relationship. He went in to have a routine colon surgery and never walked out and never got to feel the air on his face again. I sat in that hospital day in and day out he was OK at first and then 2 weeks in to him staying at the hospital because of sever pains the doc. and nurses would not release him. He was not eating could barely hold fluid down and was always telling me that he hurt. He also at his bed side alone with him one evening told me that he thought he was not going to make it through it and said that he had never felt the pain he did in his life and just wanted me to know that he was so sorry for every thing. He went on to explain witch i knew at least i though i knew at the time. He said i am so sorry for putting u though hell and having are kids taken from us.( the reason that are 2 children were taken from us was because we were homeless and kicked out of a homeless shelter and sense we did not put on srs,s list that we would be able to live some where else if we were not able to stay there. Also to get them in to srs custody was dramatic also my husband was mad at me for some foolish reason like usual but more mad then ever. The days the state came in to are lives I had a slash mark across my neck and bruises up and down my arms my daughter also had a scratch mark on her form me trying to take my baby from him because he said he was going to take her away from me and i would never see her again in a panic when he ran out the front door with her i garbed her and accidently scratched her on her chest witch was all lied about to the police and srs workers because my husband said i would get in trouble for doing that when i never ever meant to harm my child.) But tears welled up in his eyes and he said i should of never treated u the way i did u are a good person and i never deserved you.(All the names and taunting he did to me was hard enough to go through he was some times physical toward me but most the time it was mental, and my children saw it all. now don't think i did not try to leave him but every time he told me things would be different and i came back) I sat with him in the hospital day in and out living with his parents because once again after 2 years of being on are feet because of me working. I lost my job and our home so we again were homeless. I watched his life slip away slowly he was back and forth in ICU and at the same time i was the sole provider for are kids. I admit this now that i kinda wanted him to go but wanted him to stay because he was all i had my family moved out of state and i chose him.and also by the time we found out that he was going to have surgery we had are 3rd child my faith.
I spent my birthday in the hospital and that was the loneliest day ever at that time they said that he was becoming septic. I talked to him brushed his hair shaved him massaged his legs and did every thing a loving wife would for some one that they loved at that point i did not know where our road was going to go i was scared not just for me but for our kids what would they do if they lost there father. The day the doctor came to me on 12-16 in the early morning he said that he only gave my husband a few hrs or days at the most. he was barely hanging on. the day before i was told the most shocking news of my life i let each one of my children mask and glove up and go in the ICU to see there dad it was heart braking. He passed on DEC 16 because we took him off his pressure meds. and he only had pain meds nothing to keep him under and he was still unresponsive after his seventh surgery from the day before. I jumped to his side on the bed and i told him that i would never ever stop loving him and that i would always take care of are kids. I whispered this all to him and then said i love u my heart. he turned his head a tear rolled down his cheek and he gasped.
Me being a widowed mother after that was hard i still had no job and had lots of money i had to fork out witch thanks to my family and many anonimas donors we paid for his cremation. I will tell u if i had ever had a test in my life it was this whole experience. That felt like hell on earth. Weeks passed after his funeral, My children and i were still living with his mother and father. I must say that was no peace of cake ether. My husbands mother was vary mean to me through out the years and violent she was a older women in her 60s and she would get in my face with my kids in my arms she had thrown things at me and called me every name in the book. My last day staying at her home she told me that that was her son and that she loved him first and that i really never cared for him. She told my children inappropriate things about me saying in front of a 5 ,4 , and 1 year old d that i was not a good mom and that i slept with men and women what kind of person does those kinds of things. I told her that day that i was voice recording her because i was tired of the abuse. She came up to me and put her fore arm ageist my thought in front of my children and that was the last straw in my mind all i could think of is that my children were all that his parents had left of there own son and how could a deacons wife be so cruel. i called one of my husbands life long friends that lived in the same town and asked if i would be able to stay there with my kids tell i got there survivors benefit. a few weeks later witch was almost 3 months after my husband passed i received the benefits.
I got me and my kids in to a great home bigger then we have ever had. To tell u the truth i was scared are first night here in this home.I helped the kids by putting photos of there dad all around my youngest 2 would point them out all the time. As for my oldest she never really said any thing besides daddy went to heaven.She did ask when he was coming back a few times but as weeks started to pass she soon stooped asking that also. i was still going to are old neighborhood and being around friends that conferred us all. I ran in to a old neighbor of ours that had moved away 9 months before that and we both had no intentions of being with any one because we were not looking for that. We both took it vary slow but really started liking one another. So he weaved his way in to my kids and my life and my kids already loved him because he also had a daughter that was close to my oldest age. We took the next step and started living together i invited him in to are home he did not sleep in my room that would of been to much on the kids so like i said we took it slow witch i had never exuberance before. well 6 months after my husbands death me and my partner took it to the next level and told the kids and they have been all for it sense.
Soon after this I was up stairs in my room as the kids were in the down stairs living room watching TV. I herd a blood curdling scream from my youngest and ran as fast as i could. I was shocked by what i saw i saw my 6 year old clothed on top of her 2 year old sister she also was clothed but the 6 year old was touching her self laying on her belly on top of my youngest back and the youngest was griping the carpet and just saying mommy. I started to cry and grabbed my little one and brought her up stairs. Now mind u when me and my husband had srs in are life's we had the kids out of are home for a toutle of 3 months with regular visitations but the two oldest were flipped from home to home and he started noticing are daughter touching her self through her pants and i immediately told my case workers and a full on investigation was put forth all the homes she was in were interviewed and nothing came up and they put us on the back burner because they said that there were other top priority cases. but i had noticed for about 2 years when we got full custody back witch was the longest and worst experience ( they took my children for instability and that's what they did to them by floping them from house to house. Back on track now though i was so frightened when i saw her do that to her sister i brought her up stairs and consoled my youngest and then went down stairs yes i yell yes i cursed i was so mad that she would do that to her own sister i was sickens to my stomach and i said that to her i said how sick can u be to do that to your sister. she cryed and went to her room alone for about 10 min. when the other 2 were in tuned to the TV again down stairs i called my oldest from her room. I asked her y baby y would u do such a thing to your baby sister. u know she did not like that and u were scaring her. She said yes mom and i am so sorry. i did not mean to hurt her i said u just cant do that u cant to inappropriate things to her no matter what if u fell like u have that feeling to touch your self come talk to me and we will find a activity for u to do like read or color Hun. Then i proceed mind u my partner was in the room with us and i asked her Hun u don't do that to some one u love babe who showed u those things do u remember she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said no mommy i don't and looked down immediately. That really consumed me because i knew that she did know but was hiding it for some reason. I said do u want ### (my partner) to leave the room so we can talk. She said no mom could u leave so that i can talk to him. of cores i was not going to let her alone i waste to hear first hand too she led ### ( my partner) to her room and then they sat and talked he said u know what u did was not right right? She said yes i know. He said well Hun if some one did something to u in any way u know that u can tell us we will not be mad we will understand and help u any way that we can. She sat there quiet for awhile and then the words came out. MY daddy liked to touch me down there. AS i lissoned next to the door i was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. He said honey i am so sorry holding his tears the best he could he said no daddy does that to there babys and u were his baby and that was vary wrong and bad of him. I want u to know if u want me to i will be your dad and i can promise u that i will never ever let any one hurt u ever again he hugged her and had to walk out. We both were crying as he was walking away to be alone for a moment. I was so shocked that i was in disbelief how when every thing was running through my head my seven years with a man i though i loved was a lie was a sham was fake. I went to my oldest girl and sat on her bed and said babe if u want to talk to mom about any thing u can. I asked the question that was kill-ling me i said was mommy there when this person did something to u Hun she said no mom u were working i think. Then i said do u remember where it happened u don't have to tell me who or any think i just need to know where babe she said remember are old trailer i said yes she goes there in are house in my room. She goes mom i am done talking can i go down stairs and watch the rest of the movie with bub and sis i said oh yes go ahead. It felt as if time had stopped when she walked out of her room. My mind began to wonder i was thinking i have heard of story's like this on talk shows and i looked at the mother and thought u stupid ***** how did u not know.Then things fit together like a puzzle peaces things i never noticed before because i was always trying to make my husband happy just so he would not get mad that i never saw it i never even thought in a million years that some thing like that would be said. But one big pieces of the puzzle slipped in to place when we were fighting for are kids in srs my husband came to me from around the house just balling and my heart sunk i said whats the prob. he said well now rout there is a investigation going on with are oldest i need to tell u something remember when the detective came by and i said that i did not want to be there i said yes well .... well he said when i was 17 just about to b 18 i had sex with a miner it was consintual she was 14 or 15 i cant really remember well her parents turned me in and i went to prison for it i am telling u this now because i never wanted u to think different of me and i am so scared we wont get are kids back and they will take are baby that the state does not have custody of. I started to ball and i said u could of said something just something to me well i was asked by the detective if i thought if my husband could be the one that did it and immediately said no because he was not like that in my eyes and i had no clue of the story tell after the detective had left and i told him it was OK it was your past and u were young and i know u would never harm are kids we went through all the therapy with are daughter and that was over a years worth. she was so young she did not ever come out with any thing but one cement that disturbed me the investigator talked to her and she told them that she don't remember then she said well i remember my moms eyes were closed and she shut her eyes tight. i could not get that thought out of my head like where was i what was i doing to have my eyes shut. But it all makes sense now i started her in therapy the following week after she told me and my partner and things seemed to get worse to hear me talk about it to the therapist and her talking to her also. So i pulled her from therapy u may say it was silly for me to do so but she is happier now she does not touch her self like she use to she is still wetting the bed but that is one of the things that i am working my hardest on trying to get my 6 year old out of diapers. Her whole personality has changed yes she is still a typical 6 year old talking back and trying to get her way with every thing that she wants but i see her smile now i see her light up when we do are normal routines. And as for all the pictures of my husband i had all over the house i took them all down put them in a box and i did not get one comment about them not being there from any of my kids. and now i realized y my oldest never looked at his photos she always looked away and if a friend of ares saw it before we knew any thing she would say yep thats my dad and a pic of him fishing, he liked fishing he always went by him self. I can honestly say the day those words came out of her mouth i fell out of love with him and i took his locket of ashes off my neck and switched my great grandmothers wedding bands to the other hand. I am just happy that things are becoming good for my girl she has been through to much and that Honorable part of her life is over. i know one day she will need to seek counseling again but i will let her choose.
As for my husbands family, well i first started by telling his sister that lives here in the same state and she told me no no no that s a lie u know my brother would never do a thing like that he loves his kids and would do any thing for them. I was called a lire and every thing else u could think of then she text-ed me one day before my husbands parents shut off my husbands old phone they were paying for and told me that we just need to have a talk and see what the therapist says. well the 4 times that we did go i was told not to stay in contact with them any more because of all the bad things that had happened between us through out the years.Also I knew about my husbands dads step daughter when we started the kids stuff in 09 he was never charged with any thing because the step daughter drooped it if she could move to Cali with her real dad. But her step dad my husbands real dad groped her breasts when she was 13. So needless to say i am finished with that family i want what is best for my children.
To add a little more so my daughters story gets out there is that my husbands parents stooped by and this was about a month ago and they pounded on my door for 30 min knocked on my nabors doors trying to get info on me and my partner and thanx god the lady did not know who we really were at the time so she could not say any thing. I did tell them newmarous times to leave us alone nothing can be fixed and they just kept telling me that i was being childish and they want to see there grand kids. They got in there cars and pulled away. sat around the block and came back less then 2 min later so i finialy called the police because my kids were here with me and they were getting worried at that point when they came back. I am worried to get a restraining order from the court because i have seen many of them done and u have to see the person there and i dont want any thing to do with them so i have taken all proper percotions told schools neighbors and any one eles that we know do not let them around are kids and the kids know to go inside or come str8 to me or my partner emeditly. I was forward with my daughter told her that what happoned to her happoned to her ante and that i dont want her around bad people like that because u never know some one. Now i get mean rude text on social medias people tryng to friend me i have never hurd of and it is his family telling me that i am young, childish, stupid, inmuture, and i am money hungry because there is a case that i am trying to file for my children because my husbends doc. did a botch job on him he was 37 and there was a .01% chance of some one his age dieing the way he did. I am not money hungry or any thing eles they have to say i am 27 i have 3 beautifal happy children that i am going to protect with everthing Thank u for takeing the time to lisson to my daughter, 2 other children and our story. On a responsible consurned note please look around and find out who people are if u have that gut instent that that person is not right for u dont chance life it is to much to risk expeialy when u have little ones they are number 1.
tishtosh37 tishtosh37
26-30, F
Sep 7, 2012