To Lose A Child

I have read many of your stories and my heart goes out to each and everyone of you because I feel your same pain. I also lost a son my 2nd oldest son he was 14 years old and he was also murdered. November 21,2010 he and my oldest son was at a teen party, I called my oldest son at 12:00am to see what time the party was over because usually I would go pick them up a lil while before the party be over but however my oldest son lied to me telling me that the party don't end until 2:00 so I told them No yall got to be home @1:00 not knowing to whole time I'm talking to him the party was already over because they shut it down early do to teens not knowing how to act so after we hang up the phone I laid back down to give them until the time I told them but @ 12:45am I got the phone call saying that my 14 year had been shot so I was going crazy in my house running back & forth trying to find the proper clothes to put on, anyway I get their on the seen and I saw my oldest son rocking my 14 year old son telling him to keep breathing and I fall @ my knees asking who did this to my baby. It felt like I was in a dream waiting to wake up I begin to ask myself is this really real I was in denial up until I saw him lying in the casket and it was at the point when I realize that it was not a dream, it's been almost to years ago since we've lost him and still to this day the pain still feel as if it happen yesterday. the pain will never go away not even knowing the he is with GOD because I want to see him now but can't . My son life was taking away from him so soon he never got the chance to see what it feel like to go to the prom or to go to the army like he said but what I do know is, is that he is in a much better place now. my son was a good clean & respectable child but not a perfect child he had some good days and also some bad but I can truly say his good days out wayed all of his bad days and that is the most hurtful thing to me bcause he was a good child my child and someone took all his hopes and dreams away from him. I hope and pray that GOD give us all the comfort that we need in our lives and that he keep us strong and to help us stay in our right state of mind although the road it not easy at all but through it all we just have to trust in GOD knowing that he is a GOD that make no mistakes. so with that being said just keep praying that GOD will help ease our pain.