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Losing Judd

Judd and his wife Nicki had just moved from our house to their own place, in a small town an hour from us.  He had gotten a job at a grocery store as the assistant manager and was very good at it.  One night when he was closing up the accounts for the store, he called the manager to report that the books weren't coming out right and would he please come and check things out.  The manager was busy and planned to go later.  While Judd was waiting for the manager, he finished up taking out the trash, checking the bathrooms, etc.  While he was in one of the bathrooms, someone jumped down from above the ceiling tiles and attacked him.  Judd knew who the man was(a co-worker) and tried to talk to him.  The man kept attacking him, chasing him all over the store and beating him as he went.  Judd was an average size man(5'8"or so) and the man was over 6' and huge.  finally the guy locked him in the freezer and finished him off.  We were told later the guy said"He just wouldn't stop fighting.  I wanted him to stop fighting.  But he wouldn't give up."  The guy was robbing the store and that's why the books wouldn't come out.  He was hiding so he could take food out of the store.  He killed my son so he could get away.  But he didn't, he was caught and is in jail now.  He got the 'hard 40' because he locked Judd in the freezer and that was considered 'kidnapping' 

We are all changed by this loss.  We don't trust god anymore, we find it hard to love or believe, for fear of losing again. We had to have 2 services for Judd, one here and one in the town where he was living, both services were totally overwhelming with the number of people who came. Little old ladies came up to me by the dozens to tell me how sweet and helpful Judd had been to them in the store.  He was 24, but every teacher from high school, every student, every friend he ever had who could get there was there.

He was the best of us and all we can do is live so that he would be proud of us.

kslabtechchick kslabtechchick 56-60 78 Responses Aug 7, 2008

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Hello. I just wanted to say to you that I am so sorry for your loss. As a mother of 3 boys myself I just can't imagine what you must be going through. I have a son in the Army and i worry every single day that something could happen to him. Please stay strong and know that your son is always with you.

Hello. My name is Jessica Humbles and I am a mother of 3 boys. I read your story twice, both times with tears in my eyes. I dont know what to say but that God writes our life we just have to enjoyde even when something unthinkable happens. Your son was an angel and he had to take his place. You are a HERO in my eyes. I am in the process of writing a book about Mother's who lost there Son's due to the violence in New Orleans. I never written a book before but this book is for you and only Mother's who lost there son's. Just know you are not forgotton, lost, nor not thought about. I'm in the beganing stage of my book but it is in the making. Thank you for sharing your story, We LOVE YOU & may GOD continue to BLESS YOU!!! From my heart to your's.

Thank you so much for your post. Your words give me strength and I am grateful to realize there are people like you out there. Good luck with your book, I know you will do well.

Karma only works to those with conscience's , and its not due to any higher power, its due to that person knowing they did wrong and subconsciously causing bad to happen to them as a type of penance. Of course there is no god of any written about variety, this is just a social control tool. In regards to your son, it is indeed a wretched thing perpetrated by a reptilian swine of a person. Revenge is a dish best served cold and there is nothing better to do than gain it. Of course it must not consume you as then the swine has won again. If it were me i would do all i can to make his life hell, but i wouldnt oppose release, id want him out so that i could tear him limb by limb, slowly. Live strong and do well, that is the best you can do for your sons memory and possibly adopt some kid who needs a loving family, around 5 or younger. Peace, respect and revenge to you , from my heart. Arisotle88

I am sorry about your loss. I believe in Karma so that criminal will get his not just jail.<br />
I will pray for you. Sorry about your faith as well. I believe that your son has peace and joy. He lives stong in your heart. No matter what you believe now, you and your loved ones will be reunited with him in the afterlife. GOD BLESS YOU!!!! }i{ XOXOX

I am very sorry for your loss, and hope you'll accept my condolences. (and a hug) I pray your pain lessens daily, and hope you'll find peace. Bless you!

I cannot imagine your pain. <br />
Have you ever heard of the book Conversations with the Other Side by Sylvia Browne?<br />
You might find some comfort there. <br />
Your family is in my thoughts, <br />
in love and light.

Sorry for your loss but the loss to the community also.

We lost a daughter at age 22. All I can say is that I am so happy that you had this wonderful child in your life for 24 years. There are no words, I know. You are not alone.

My deepest sympathy for your loss it is horrible that there are idiot out there like this guy. It seems like good people always get tooken that bring something valid to the world while others that do such senseless things live amongst us I will be praying for you and you family.

I am so sorry for your loss. Its the hardest thing losing a beloved son. Its equally hard to understand it, comprehend and find any peace within you. Someone who didn't care about human life took his for nothing but money. There is no excuses for that and there will be hell to pay for him. Such a cowardess thing to do, locking him in a freezer. <br />
The world is full of evil down here, but it also is full of good...hang on to that thought every day. See it in every possible place. I hope soon, your heart will heal. It will be good for your son. Send him your love, and one day you will meet again. For sure.

Judd is an Angel...I promise one day you'll understand...Jah bless.

The cowardliness and blindness of some people is astounding. I think you worded this very well. I'm sorry about your loss.

I would like to send everyone my heartfelt thanks for their comments and thoughts on my 'Losing Judd' experience. Also, I want to update, to some extent ,our lives since this happened. <br />
Nicki has finally found someone, not to replace Judd in her life, but to make a new life with. They have a sweet daughter.<br />
While I don't really believe our faith can be so easily renewed, my other children and I are managing to find life with loves of our own. I have a new grandson, the son of my youngest daughter. I have moved south and found love. <br />
Judd will always be there in our hearts, the one we think of constantly. Wishing just to share some time with him again.

Every now and then I come back to this amazing story. You're in our hearts and minds.

I am so sorry for your loss . Your Judd sounds like a wonderful man . I want to say something , but know that there isnt anything I can possibly say to make a real difference .... you have touched me deeply , you and your family will be in my prayers

Its a year letter since you initially posted... I am sorry for your loss... have you found your faith again... because for a man like Judd to have existed in the first place and touched my life without having even known him is a sign that God exists... I am not the preachy type I just hate that not only did your son get taken from you and all he knew prematurely, but they took your faith too...

I read your story as the tears flowed from my eyes freely. Your son was a good man, and I hope that he is able to be at peace. Though you say you are afraid and stopped by fear and loss, I believe your story shows you have great strength, the memory of your son lives on strong in you.<br />
--------------------<br />
Angioplasty

I read your story and sympathise with you.<br />
<br />
Hope your family recovers from the loss.

Your precious Judd had such a great gift in life - your deep love for him and the love of so many in the community. For some reason it was his time to make his transition, and we can chooose to honor that because now he is in great peace. If you can embrace this higher perspective, and know that he lives, his spirit is around you, and your mutual love lives on, I hope you find peace also.

im very sorry for your loss. its always horrible when the best people always get the worst outcomes for no reasons and no one ever understands why.

By the way, let go of your anger toward the "man" who did this to you. No matter what punishment he gets form man it is nothing to the one he will receive in the end.

Your son was like a comet, it burned brightly in your life for a brief time, lighting up your sky with a beautiful soul. I lost my sister 16 years ago and her light still lingers in my heart. My sadness at her loss has never diminished but neither has her memory. No matter how hard we wish it the world won't stop for our sorrow, but it will not be forever. I have a baby i never dared hope for and a new reason to keep going, look around you for those reasons to keep going you will find them in the most unexpected places. When I go to sleep each night instead of praying I ask God to make more room in my heart to love others. Tonight you and yours including Judd will be there too.

I hope they at least keep him in for all the 40 years. My sister was murdered; he was given life; and he was out in under 18. What ever happened to an eye for an eye??<br />
<br />
I do know your pain; your frustration; and some of what you are feeling. 30 years after mu sisters death; it is easier in that the pain is now a numbness. It is starting to be hard to remember her face.. I wish you well

I know how you feel because my cousin was murdered. They found him dead in a river. But they do not know who killed him. I am sorry for your loss, I know it feels worse than any earthly pain. But it is not the time to turn away from God. You know your son is safe in Heaven and with Our Lord. He is watching over you and helping you from Heaven. Please do not lose hope or your faith. God can help now more than ever. He is at peace now, and he knows how missed he is by you and your family. But he would not want you to reject your faith. I am so sorry for you, and you, your family, and your son are in my prayers.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Judd.<br />
<br />
**Hugs**

My heart and tears go out to you. What a horrible thing to have happen. I am so sorry.<br />
<br />
Perhaps you could visit this web site ruthann1.com. I go there a lot, since the doctor deliberately killed my precious Husband.<br />
<br />
You are a lot stronger than I am and I wish you well and your beautiful family many blessings always.

I am very sorry for your loss and I pray that one day you and your family can open your hearts once more to trust God. I can never imagine what you and his wife must be going through and I hope find a way to lean on each other to make it though this.

I am very very sorry for what happened to your son Judd. It is very unfortunate he was alone in the store; what was the watchman or security guard of the store doing? a burglar alarm at the cash register would have alerted others in the neighbourhood. Only time can heal your sorrow. My heartfelt condolences to his wife Nicki.

SO HARD TO TELL ANYONE WITH SUCH A LOSE,IT WILL BE OKAY,EVENTUALLT.GOD BINDS UP ALL OUR WOUNDS,AND THO YOU WILL NEVER FORGET,HE WILL HEAL YOUR HEART,SO THE SPIRIT OF YOUR LOVED ONE WILL BE SMILEING DOWN FROM HEAVEN,AND GUIDING YOUR LIVES,BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL

May God be with you in your time if grief. No one can ever explain an unnecessary death. You and your family will be in my prayers and thoughts

thats really sad<br />
but no death penalty?

I wish all the best to you and you're family, you have been through something I couldn't even possibly imagine, thank you for sharing your story.

I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your son, and the pain your family has endured.....

HUGS!!!!!! My deepest and sincerest condolences.

I am so very sorry.

so sorry for your loss. God doesn't promise us a trauma free life. what a beautiful commentary on your sons life by all the people who came to the service and shared stories. for that you must be proud.<br />
I can't imagine your pain. I hope you seek good counseling. a friend of mines son about the same age took his own life last year. we bought him a book titled " I wasn't ready to say goodbye"<br />
maybe you can check it out.

so sorry for your loss. God doesn't promise us a trauma free life. what a beautiful commentary on your sons life by all the people who came to the service and shared stories. for that you must be proud.<br />
I can't imagine your pain. I hope you seek good counseling. a friend of mines son about the same age took his own life last year. we bought him a book titled " I wasn't ready to say goodbye"<br />
maybe you can check it out.

God bless you!

Judd<br />
my heart goes out to you....I feel awfull and sad for you and Im sorry there are no words to tell you....I know this world is full of cruelty...But its not your fault....Things happen for a reason.....And your sons mission was this one...Yes its horrible, but by putting this man in jail, maybe he saved somoene else from another horrible disaster....<br />
Your son is with you, remember all the good memories you have of him....Dont loose your faith......Your son will be with you as long as your faith is strong....<br />
I will prey for your sorrows and your peace....<br />
Lots of Hugs.....<br />
Diana...........xoxoxxo

i am inspired by your strength to open up and share this story with us. <br />
you are truley inspirational.

I'm so sorry to hear about your son's loss- he sounds like he was a wonderful person.<br />
<br />
Don't lose your faith, sometimes it's all we have. I'm sorry your daughter in law has lost her husband at such a young age, it's truly a tragedy.<br />
<br />
I wish you and your family the best.

I am sorry for your loss,May he live forever in your hearts.<br />
lea

Sorry for your loss.

I am so sad for you, and I feel your pain. Live as he would have wanted you to live.<br />
Your pain will be gone when you join him one day!

I'm so sorry for your lost. He appear to have been a wonderful son. I can only say that time have a way about healing the pain. Because I have lost a lot of love ones. I will pray for you.

My heart goes out to you and your family. Through your story, you are keeping his memory and spirit alive. Thank you for sharing this with us. I lost a bright, talented child, too, to a murderer. His weapon was his 2-ton truck. He was drunk. He is not in jail. I no longer care about what happens to him because Kharma is Just. I know that my child, and yours, watch over us and love us still. Healing and Love to you. MS.

Your loss is terrible. You can only know exact feeling of pain when you think about him but I can share it as an young man. <br />
Life is like that : some people enjoy ;some suffer; some one is made to suffer by god. Dont worry God is with you<br />
I believe god is love; I believe in reincarnations as I am a Hindu: if we do any sin this life, it is accountable in the <br />
next birth . We can not escape from it. Suppose we owe <br />
money to anyone without paying, we will come to earth<br />
again to pay that debt.<br />
<br />
I share your deep sorrow. Pray to God and God will help <br />
you.

Stay strong. Try to live each day to its fullest. You can teach others to not take so much for granted after losing such a large piece of yourself in losing your son. My heart goes out to you, as a mother I don't know if I could breath without my children. I wish you well and your in my thoughts tonight.

i can't begin to express my sympathy to you and your family. no mother should have to lose her child in such a henious, vicious way. god bless you

Sorry to hear about your tragedy. I can understand you not trusting God anymore, but just remember that God doesn't create these events - God just gives us the strength and intelligence to deal with times like this. I hope your wounds can heal with time.

Your story is so sad. I am sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry to hear of heartbreak. I too will think and pray for you and your family as you move through this tremendous loss and hope you and yours find the strength to heal over time. I send you every best wish and strength.

God will not short-change u... your son's home with Him & He will repay for your son.

I am so sorry about ur loss. I loss my dad few years ago being murdered. It is so hard to accept a death that is intentionally. But bad things happen to good people. I don't know why? I have to ask myself about that sometimes. But all we could do is give it all to God. He will be the one to give justice for him. And keep on trusting God no matter what happens. All of these things that happened in our life is caused by Satan.

I am so sorry about ur loss. I loss my dad few years ago being murdered. It is so hard to accept a death that is intentionally. But bad things happen to good people. I don't know why? I have to ask myself about that sometimes. But all we could do is give it all to God. He will be the one to give justice for him. And keep on trusting God no matter what happens. All of these things that happened in our life is caused by Satan.

this is an insane and terrible and tragic story<br />
i am so sorry to hear of your loss<br />
at the same time<br />
you must remember and hold the spirit of your son strong<br />
and that sounds like exactly what you are doing<br />
you are remembering him and doing him proud<br />
and remembering him for all the good things<br />
stay strong in that belief and honour that belief in him and like the lady who talked about satan <br />
if we think of this as the symbol of the evil that happened that night<br />
then remember the best thing you can do <br />
is to put that behind you <br />
and to focus on honouring all the good and wonderful things about your son <br />
and remembering that he is next to god now<br />
and god will honour him for the sake of all the good things he did<br />
hearing you talk of all the little old ladies coming to say what a wonderful boy he was <br />
that is a wonderful thing to hear<br />
remember that and honour that spirit and hold his spirit high<br />
and remember god in his sacrifice despite the tragedy<br />
focus on that <br />
even though normally i don't say things like this<br />
but that is the message of jesus<br />
to remember the love and the honour and the spirit in his sacrifice and to cherish his memory <br />
<br />
i am sure that he is close to god now<br />
and if you ask in your prayers for a sign to come to you that he is still with you in spirit <br />
he will come to you in your dreams<br />
remember that spirit is always there<br />
his spirit lives on within you always<br />
don't let 'satan' get you down<br />
live on and be strong<br />
:-)

I'm so very sorry for Your loss.But I agree with EXQDIVA,If You turn from God,then Satan has won.If Your Son knew Christ then How will You ever see Him again,If You turn from God?God didn't take Your son.Satan that rules or ruled this man took Your son.I pray You reconsider about losing trust in The Almighty.Again I am sorry,I couldn't imagine having to bury One of My Children.God Bless You and I will be praying that His Holy Spirit comfort You.

i'm sorry to hear about your loss. we all have had something similar happen. when i read this, it makes me want pursue a job in law enforement.it also reminds me of my grandmother who wasen't killed by person, but illness. i wish you and your family to happness.

I wish i could bring him back, i really do and i wish that.... o gosh i wish so much for you! I don't know how to help you, and wish that i could! I really hope that things go better for you. I am sooo sorry!

I am deeply sorry for your the loss of your son. Keep his memory alive while talking about him. LIfe is just so not fair, and we don't know why God allows these bad things to happen to us..but he is also the only one who can truly comfort us. God Bless you and comfort you.

When you and I and Judd came into the world, were we called by our parents love? Maybe we were recycled here to take on evil and show it up for what it realy is?<br />
Perhaps it is simply that evil exists and there are times when it appears in something as horrible as the insane self preserving acts that destroy life and property.<br />
<br />
It does not matter where it came from. Evil hurts you and me!!<br />
<br />
The best way to make evil loose ground, is to make a whole lot of good take place.<br />
<br />
So, I encourage you to keep on going and do as much damage as you can to this blackness. <br />
<br />
The Titanic movie depicts all of humanities strugle with the stupidity of losses and pain.<br />
<br />
The heroine does the right thing, she lives life to the fullest and in this way dukes it out against the evil that she faced.

As a mother of a 10 month old son, I cant imagine losing my son and I cant imagine the experience you went through and are still going through. My heart goes out to you and your family and I hope that you remember your son for what he was and not how someone took his life away. I wish people would understand the beauty of life and the essence of it. Thanks so much for sharing

I just can't imagine how terrible you and your family feel. You have to remind your son just like the wonderful human being he was.<br />
<br />
I know it's not easy but you should try to find forgiveness in your heart through the faith you once had in God so you can move on with your lives. Ask God for the strength you need, you have to think of your son as your personal angel who's taking care of you now. Only that way you'll find the peace you need. God is always next to you.<br />
<br />
Don't give up!!! Think if Judd would have given up, he didn't !!! Why would you do it???<br />
<br />
He was a son of God and so are you.

My husband was attackted three years ago...We were lucky that he was so strong, and was able to fight off the attacker...But he was in the ICU for five days..I do not know how I would have gone on with out him...But I do know that I would have...It is not ment for a parent to bury a child and there is great loss when that happens. I am sue that you will find some way to deal with the loss that will bring great honor to your son...For it seems as he brought you great honor with the way that he lived his like...A mothers love to you both...

I am so sorry. You obviously loved him very much, and he was clearly an up-standing guy. My condolences.

I am so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful, positive guy who would have brought a lot of good to the world. I lost a niece and nephew who were like my own quite a while ago. All I can say is hang on, and keep doing what you're doing. Time DOES help, although that sounds trite, I know. And even today, when people ask me how long it's been, I say it always seems like forever and yesterday at the same time. Evil lives, and unfortunately it found your wonderful son. He would be so proud of you for continuing on, and I'm sure he looks down from Heaven and says "Yup, that's my family. Aren't they something?"

This is a heart wrenching story. I lost my wife who was going to get some bread for supper and was hit head-on by a drunk driver and died instantly at 34 years old. I was left with a 3 and 6 year old to raise. I mention this to say that you will never get over this, but time and trust in God will help you learn to deal with it. God did not do this and it's one of those things that are unexplainable. Don't loose your faith or your will. I know myself that God will never place on you more than you can bear and you certainly have a burden to carry for a while. Remember the good times with him and try to accentuate those times. Talk with a grief counselor and a pastoral counselor. It will help you greatly as you cannot bear this alone. My deepest condolences and I will pray for you that you might see yourselves through this tragedy. God bless you.

I offer my condolences for the loss of your son. He sounds like a wonderful person. I hope that your grief passes quickly.

terribly sorry about your loss. may ou have the strength to trust and love and believe again.

What a horrible loss. Your son was a good man, and I hope that he is able to be at peace.<br />
<br />
Clearly he was dearly loved, and will be missed.<br />
<br />
I will think of your family, and hope that you find the strength to rebuild your lives.

That's just terrible what the man did to your son. I'm soo sorry for the loss of Judd.

I read your story, and sorrow grips me. I am sorry are so inadequate, yet they are what I have.<br />
There are those here, though we cannot understand the imaginable pain you have and are undergoing, we will grieve with you.<br />
Though you say you are afraid and stopped by fear and loss, I believe your story shows you have great strength, the memory of your son lives on strong in you. You are the image of those who in their darkest hour, reaches out, shares, and though you may not see it,<br />
inspires. <br />
The memory of your son will live strong, not only in you and your family, not only by the gift of himself he shared while here, but now whith those of us here. I promise we won't forget.

I dont know why this happened but I do know that if you turn away from your beliefs then satan has won twice. Once when he took your child away from you and then when he was able to take God's child from him. I cant begin to pretend to know your pain or be able to tell you what you should do or how you should feel. It is my opinion that NO mother should have to bury her child. Im so sorry for your family's loss. You will be in my prayers.

i am sorry for your loss words can't begin to describe....

I am so terribly sorry for your loss.....

We are so sorry for your loss. I hope that sharing this will bring you some small amount of solace, as you have honored your son by telling his story to the world. You are, sadly, not alone, and I hope the EP community can open their arms to you with support and understanding.

I read your story as the tears flowed from my eyes freely. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there were magical words I could say to bring Judd back to you but unfortunately I don't know any. I think you said it best when you said you go on with your life trying to live it to make him proud. That is how I deal with the loss of my son and everyday I focus on helping someone in honor of him. That is how fungirl continues on.

Thats just terrible.............<br />
What a creep!.....no daeth penalty?<br />
cheers