Blessed To Be A Mother

My husband and I had been married over eight years, and only used birth control the first year. I'd thought I was infertile, and ~shyly~ had the mind set that I wouldn't be a good mother anyway.

Then, on the way home from vacation in West Virginia, we were driving through the beautiful mountains, and out of no where, I heard in my spirit, "You're going to have a baby." I thought "hmmm, where did that come from", but in my heart I knew. I didn't say anything to my husband about it, just pondered it in my heart.

One day not long after we got home, my husband was out riding bikes with a friend, and he heard the same message. He, too, didn't say anything to me. A few weeks went by. I was feeling poorly, and began throwing up in the mornings. We bought a home pregnancy test. I re-call that day. It was August and extremely hot. We didn't have A/C. I took the test, lay down on the couch and napped. When I woke up and looked at it, it was positive! Long story short, I went to the GYN to confirm it. Once it was confirmed, my husband and I both told each other how we had been told before hand, and to us that made it special.

That was almost 28 years ago. The day I brought my son home was the happiest in my life. It gave me a reason for living. Each day was a joy, (even though he had colic for 3 months).

When he was 8 months old, we found out that my mother had Brain Cancer. We moved in with my parents so that I could take care of her. The prognosis wasn't good. She had a year to live. My husband was wonderful to sacrifice his time to get up every morning and drive her 50 miles for radiation for 6 weeks. That was in the winter of 83. Time went by and we watched as my mother failed..but as they say, life goes on. We continued to enjoy our son. Then one day, my husband said, "I'm going to jump your bones and get you pregnant!! AND HE DID!! It was the only time we didn't used contraception. In a sense it was bad timing, but looking back, I can see how God knew what he was doing. On Monday, November 19, 1984, our second son was born by C-section. My Aunts and Mother-in
law had come to take care of my mother while I was in the Hospital. On Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, my Mother was brought to the hospital, and her Dr. came to my room to tell me that her passing was near. I was allowed to go up to her room with my husband, and as I talked to her and told her my heart, it seemed that every breath was her last. Then a nurse came and said my infant son was crying and refused to take water; I needed to go down and nurse him. We could see my mother's room from mine. As I was nursing my son, my husband and I could see the staff un-hooking tubes, and that's how I knew she'd passed.

When I said it was bad timing, I was so wrong, because having that 19 month old toddler and an infant to care for helped carry me through that time. My mother was a good example, and I'm adopted (another story for another day). People say there aren't books to tell you how to be a parent, but I just did as my Mom told me, I prayed and asked God's wisdom as my children grew...and grow much too soon. I must be the worst case of "Empty Nest Syndrome" there always was. My children and I were so close that when my son met his (now) wife, at the age of 17, I felt like I lost him that day. That was the hardest struggle of all.

Our younger son still has his address at home but is not here much because he's going to college or is out with friends. But I'm so happy to say that I dedicated them to God, and though the older one is a stray lamb, the younger one, when he was dedicated, the Pastor said, "There's something special that God has for this child". At four he began to play a little keyboard (by ear). Now he is the Church pianist and sings as well, and every time he does, I can't help crying because he's such a blessing.

There are so many things I could write about them but it would turn into a book. Suffice it to say I'm blessed beyond measure to have been given these two wonderful sons. I love them with all my heart.

nightangel53 nightangel53
2 Responses Jul 17, 2010

Thanks you for commenting on my story. LOL, I actually didn't realize it was going to turn into a story.<br />
I'm so blessed (sometimes in spite of a mess) because I have a Heavenly Father I can take all my burdens to. Some people may say that is a "crutch", but it's the best crutch to lean on, "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms". I really must share my story of adoption soon, but I know it's going to be long and I want to do it justice.

Thank you for sharing this story, it has been said many time before, but ' God works in strange ways', and when we have a clear mind, and look back on sorrowful times, we can see it's true.