Sometimes I Feel Like A Failure

I have 5 wonderful kids, but there are times i feel like a failure. Like when my 4 year old cries hysterically for an hour because she has to come home and can't stay with grandma. Or when I get something as a present for my 9 year old, and she turns around and says "is that all? I wanted something else."
Or when i get yet another call from my sons school because he has done something stupid, like climb on the roof, or hit another kid, or throw a chair across the room, or... I'll stop there, i could list pages of stuff!
I love my kids, and wouldn't change them for the world, but there are times i feel like i am doing a terrible job, and they would be better off without me. Like nothing i do is good enough. No matter what i do, they always want something else, are never happy with anything I do.
Then, in the case of my son, when my brothers find out what he has done this time, they go off their rockers. Or if the girls miss a day of school, they go off, saying they ever go to school. I do my best, and I'm sorry if that isn't good enough.
lamamu lamamu
31-35, F
8 Responses Aug 2, 2010

Mine did all that to me too. Thirty years ago . Now her son is doing the same behavior. It's not fun but pretty average. I often felt guilty in the way you describe. Now I know better. I was really more OK then I realized.

I have said this before but I feel it is something we mothers need to remember, "Parenting doesn't come with a certificate", we have to work at it and kids aren't born with OUR knowledge, they have to learn it, too.<br />
When your child is having a go at you, don't be afraid to have ago back, you'll get, 'I hate you"... what would you know?... they throw it all at us at times, testing us some times to the limits, BUT, we also can test them.... good luck, just remember your not alone.

I have an only son who is 45 and he has issues , i was a stay at home mother , howeveri feel i let him down he is having health issues, needs help mental . But he says he fine , he's not . He is very depressed and i can't reach him and i have tryed over the yrs to say you need . help..

You my friend are a really good mother.Dont think for on minute that you are a failure.You have 5 beautiful kids who yes, are headstrong and spirited.All children are like this.Im sure that your children love you and when they make hurtful comments they are testing yours and their bounderies.Maybe their grandma has spoilt them a little bit 2 much but that is not ur fault.She loves you and she loves ur kids.Children these days are so easily bored and frustrated so they attack the person closest to them.That would be you.It isnt nice but regrettably thats the way it is.Maybe you could use the old star chart and make it an incentive for being good.Over a fortnight see who gets a gold star for going to school helping in the house etc.After the fortnight the one with the most stars get a reward.It will be hard at 1st but as the months pass and they see that their are rewards for being good it just might help change thir behaviour.Hang in there @ u will see it through.Take care

thankyou for your comments... i'm not a single mum, but there are times i feel like it. my husband is better than he used to be, but he still never takes the kids anywhere, and everything is left to me. if they need something, i go and get it, i do all the school stuff.<br />
he works during the day, so only really sees them in the evening, and then they go to bed. he tucks them in though.<br />
i never thought about it as they felt comfortable enough to complain. i guess thats a good thing. lol

It is very easy for people to stand outside the situation and find fault! Parenting is no easy task and you are doing a great job. Never doubt that. There will be ups and downs...just pray that your kids come through it and are good people.<br />
Children being ungrateful and hating us...all a part of parenting. Don't take it personally. They do love you and the fact that they complain to you shows you that they feel comfortable enough in your relationship to complain!

thankyou

that's normal , there are a lot of children do what yours do .Take care of your children and do your best to learn them what is right and what is wrong .<br />
Best wishes to you and to your children .