The Perfect Mother??

Long time ago a friend of mine came to visit me, all my babies were crying and I was still very calm managing the situation, then she said to me: „You do not look like a mother, you look peaceful, not tired and you do not have food spots on your clothes…” Is she right, does a mother have to be like this??

Some people say that the best mother is the one, who stays at home, or the working mother is the good one…uhm, I believe a mother would prefer to spend most of the time with her chid/children, but that is not always the case, the life shows you that can be different. I think the best answer is when you feel the love from your kids and they are happy to have you as a mother.  I am a mother (not a perfect one) and I have wonderful kids.

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18 Responses Apr 22, 2008

I am a mother of an 8 year old. He walks up to me and sometimes he tramples me to give me the biggest hugs and kisses you could ever imagine. He knows there are times that are not so perfect, but knows there are many times that are just wonderful. He loves throughout both times. He always comforts me when he sees if I am down and I do the same for him also. It is just amazing to see how much they really love even though you do make mistakes that cannot undo. It brings tears to my eyes just writing this because I feel the emotion behind him every minute I get to spend with him. He is very smart and can detect the love I have for him everyday. We pray together everyday about our family and other families that are not so fortunate to have this love. It is just a beautiful feeling!

The perfect mom stays up all night with her child when he is having bad dreams, has an upset stomach, has monsters in his/her closet, has the internet, has late night games, has late dates, has trouble leaving his friends, has to work all night, has to go off to war or to his own home.<br />
The perfect mom makes her child learn math, how to do laundry, how to wash his body and brush his teeth, how to tie his shoes and how to pick up after himself, how to be responsible, how to do homework, how to feed himself and how to give someone a hug when you say goodnight.<br />
The perfect mom helps with his homework and points him in the right direction because the most important thing for him to learn is how to find the answers to all of lifes questions.<br />
The perfect mom is the one that hugs and kisses and tell them she loves them - no matter what!<br />
The perfect mom is the one that is able to let them spread their wings when it's time for them to learn how to fly. She can restrain herself to lip biting and holding her breath instead of doing it for them.<br />
The perfect mom is so proud when he brings home stars on his papers, draws pictures for the refrigerator, brings home trophies for the tv, awards for the wall and pictures of their families. <br />
The perfect mom don't take no crap off nobody, including that child. The perfect mom demands respect.<br />
The perfect mom teaches her child that the child is loved regardless of their behavior. Wrong is still wrong and you promise that if your child messes up, you can visit them just as easily in jail and you don't have to wash the sheets.<br />
and if she manages to get it all right and gets her child raised - <br />
The perfect mom works herself out of a job.

I did my best but looking at my grown up children it was not good enough.

I can't wait to become a mother, been waiting and now is the time, so hopefully soon;-D I completely agree with what you are saying as well. xoxoxo ~sugar~ xoxoxo

I pray everyday I show my kids how much I love them. Even during my intense life struggles - going through a painful divorce - i hope I am being the best mother I can. I pray for more patience and empathy and to model good behavior and choices for my kids. THE best gift I can give them is a love, laughter, playfullness, mindfulness, and a tender heart. They drive me absolutely crazy and my anxiety goes wlid when they don't obey and I yell, but I hope I'm learning to be a better mom.

When I was a new mother, I wanted to be perfect but I found out by putting so much pressure on myself that was setting me up to fail as the perfect mother, So I decided to just love my children and try to be a good mother, not a perfect mother. And I think I did pretty good, because I'm very proud of my two children, they are grown young men now, 25 and 21 the oldest has a child, she's 3 and I love very much, She is the first female born to our family since I was born 47 years ago.

Hehe you know something TP, i dont miss my mother not being home when i was like 1-2 i miss her not being home when i was a kid and came back from school. Me and my sister from an age like 5-6 year old (or even before since my memory is only of that time) used to come home open locks etc by ourselves and get our food eat etc...all was to be done by us both, being a doctor we could not even begin to expect our mum to come especially since she was into surgery. So my point being that they will need you more in the growing stage! :)

You know TP my mum is a doctor...i am very proud of her, she is one of the leading oncologists here but all that sure does come at a cost i am not saying i was not brought up right, i think i was and its pretty evident but there are somethings that i still wish for which will never come true now. All I can say is that be a working mother so that you kids can be really proud of you but give them as much time as you can out of your job :)

I always wanted to be a mother. I know have three gorgeous girls, but I had to make a lot of sacrifices as a stay-at-home-mum. That is what I wanted to do and the decision I took at the time. My husband has a good job and I good afford to stay home, but while he is making promotions, doing courses, travelling abroad etc. I am home all day with three kids. I hardly ever go out. My husband has to work so much that I spent most evenings on my own. I lost my college friends who got careers instead of kids. All I do all day is pick up stuff from the floor, washing, dishes, wiping bums, cleaning spills and vomit off the floors. No one ever says thank you unless I remind them. I have lost myself over the past six years. I have been so lonely and have cried a lot. I used to have a job, I used to go out and have a life. Sometimes I wish I could run away and leave it all behind. Motherhood is so much harder than I ever expected it to be. I have no family living nearby. No one ever comes around to give me a hand. My mother lives close to my sister, my mother-in-law lives clothes to her daugher, they are always around doing all sorts of stuff. I love my kids, but sometimes I look at them and think, where did you all come from? Because deep down I still feel like I am 23. I am slowly starting to pick my life up again as two of my girls are in school right now. I know I wlll eventually go back to work, but hey, it has been a really tough six years...

You must have the patience of a Saint, a quality of a great mother. Most mothers would have gone insane and hit the booze hard and fast in your position.

I think you and the other mother in this forum are wonderful mother. What happen is that we always want to be better and that's OK. I spend a lot of time looking for the best for my children like last month I found this cute shoes for my baby online. They are a mix between socks and shoes and my baby love them. Check them out:<br />
the website is

there are no perfect mothers, nor are there any perfect children.<br />
<br />
just the perfect love.

perfect mom? definitely i'm not. Not all the time I’m physically around for my kids but I’m spending quality time with them which is my top priority and my kids love me and so proud of me. they are growing with good values...

princess,<br />
<br />
a mother that loves herself, can more easily love others.<br />
<br />
I think you know this little secret of life.<br />
<br />
you as well as your children are so blessed to have one another. It is not a coincidence that you all are together in this universe. :-*<br />
<br />
but you already knew this :-*<br />
<br />
and the avatar........... :-)

Plz help, I'm a mother of 2, the young one lives with his grandma & father. and i live alone with eldest, but every friday i have to go and fetch the young one and return him on sunday, his father does'n't come to help me on weekends with both of them, i love my kids so much but my life only revolves work & kids, i don't get tym to go out with friends, i'm only 25, what shud i do.

Happy Mother's Day, Princess. Your children are blessed.

*dabs tearful eyes* Most BEAUTIFUL piece here! As a working Mom, I felt guilt for a while for not being with my kids. Now they drive me nuts, so I don't feel guilty! lol. J/kidding! ...mostly! ;) But even though I'm not the perfect parent, I think BOTH my children know AND do, come to me for protection, love, play, knowledge, ect.... cause they understand I love them UNCONDITIONALLY.... even when they do drive me nuts! lol. We have, and will have those ups and downs to face, but that unconditional love and trust.... sooo VERY important for both child and parent!

Now we are getting to some really meaningful and beautiful things ...