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Will It Ever Get Easier?

It is so emotionally draining when the time comes to hand over my most precious daughter for her weekly visit with her dad.
I thought that I would be reasonable and be able to do this but it is so hard.
Every time gets harder and more upsetting to let her go. When she comes home she is so stressful like she is a different child not the most gorgeous three year old that I know and love.
This afternoon I couldn't bring myself to drop her to my ex, so he had to pick her up from my parents place. Childish I know but it gets so upsetting seeing him and leaving her. What made it harder was that today is her first sleep over.
I feel lost.
deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 2, 2012

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As a child, I had to go through the same thing as your daughter. My parents divorced when I was 2, and I saw my father every Saturday until i was 9 or so. My mother remarried at that point, and I guess he lost interest. I have not seen my father since.



Since he only got to see me once a week, he tried to make the most of it. I would generally looked forward to my weekly visit with him. He remarried shortly after getting divorced to my mother. His new wife had 3 daughters all around my age(more or less) and it was fun to hang out with them. As for my father himself, he really didn't seem to care when I look at it in hindsight(I was too young to know better back then.) It felt like him picking me up each Saturday had just become a habit to him akin to smoking or something. Was evident my how quickly he stopped.



In the end, I'm not sure he ever truly cared about me, I think it was mostly to get back at my mom. I think all that time I spent with him and his new family really took away from quality time I could have spent with the mother who had custody of me. I do think it had long-term damages. I've never really been all that close to my mother, I do blame my father for this to some extent. Most of my childhood when she wasn't working was spent away from her.



I would definitely have a talk with him if your daughter seems to be coming home in a worse mood than when she left every time. Does she look forward to seeing him each week, or is it just a routine for her?