I Think I May Be Pregnant (again..)

I'm 24 years old and a mother of a 2 year old boy :) I'm a full-time student currently on a summer break (2 week break :/) I'm going to school trying to become a Registered Nurse. Right now I have two semesters to finish to officially begin my schools nursing program. My man is a wildland firefighter and supports my son and I by being away working 14 plus days out in the burning wilderness.... Off season he's a self-employed landscaper.

I think I may be pregnant, I took...4 tests just out of anxiety, knowing it was way too early to detect anything. I'm googling and youtubing everything on "how to know if your pregnant before taking a pregnancy test." You'd think I'd know since this wouldnt be my first pregnancy but, I'm just as...."scared?" Well, I'm not scared...or worried.. I'm just very very curious. I'd be happy to find out I was pregnant. I've been thinking about it for sometime but, school always comes to mind when I think about it. Since I've been wondering if i was pregnant or not, I've been analyzing it and I figured that... this might be the only chance to have another baby. If I'm pregnant, I have two semesters to be pregnant and then 3 months of summer to apply for daycare to get the long process going... and that fall I begin my nursing classes. I know for a fact my man isn't ready for another baby so that's the only reason I'm a little scared.. He actually said to me, "If you get pregnant I want you to have an abortion." Of course, thats out of the question, its just not who I am, I could never do such a thing. He asked me "what would you do? would you want to keep it?" I didn't really answer him because I felt (in that moment) it wasn't much of an important question to respond to. What I DID say was "well then, don't get me pregnant."

I'm not going into great detail here but, during what I think was conception... It was external but, continued..and we both knew what happend. I'm curious if that was his intention but wasn't telling me? Was i wrong for not asking afterwards? I'm not ready to ask him because if I'm not pregnant I don't want to worry him while he's away. I've been looking for symptoms but theres always a different reason for what may or may not be a symptom. I can offically test on the 10th or the 17th. This is whats making it difficult... I've lost track of my last menstural cycle. I can't remember when it was. So, the way I was calculating it was by a funeral we've recently attended (ugh awful) but I know I wasn't on my period and didn't have it last week and this week..nothing so far. So, if I don't have it by friday I'm testing. Then, If the test is negative and my period still doesn't come I'll test on the 17th.

And IF it's still negative, I'll be upset and my mind would be filled with even more anxiety. Infertility runs in my family... my sister and a couple cousins and aunts cannot reproduce :/ so that would scare me. I'm tempted to test tomorrow!

I want my son to have a sibling closer in age. My siblings and I are all about 4 years apart. My oldest brother is in his 40s. He came back from saudi arabia when I was begining headstart. I was in 2nd grade when my other brother was enlisting into the marines.. my sister was a sophmore in highschool when I was born. the only brother closest in age to me is...4 years older than me and was busy with activities..(little league, basketball etc.) so I was a little loner and had imaginary friends. I don't want that for my son. I don't mind having another child.. I know my man is thinking of expenses but, I'm native american so thankfully, I don't have to worry about the medical expenses. Which takes off alot of stress.. Idk. Maybe I wouldnt have to be worrying about all of this. Maybe I'm just over analyzing things again. Or maybe I'm just pregnant. We'll see.... this will clarify a lot.
amstevens23 amstevens23
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 8, 2012

so did you check if your pregnant?anyway dont worry im sure you will get by and its good to have a baby although sometimes we think that its hard to have more but thats normal to feel those things...

actually, I'm waiting for Friday (17th) to find out. :p soooo, I'll know then.